Help Like Jesus: Part 9

In the shower, I was asking God questions, since that didn't require a picture either. After sitting and asking him questions for awhile, I asked if I should wash my hair. He got mad, and told me not to ask him questions like that!

I started channeling before I ate. I would ask, do I need coconut water? And I would get an answer. I started channeling every little thing I ate, to make sure it was what my body needed. I assumed my guides had no problems with any of my questions.

When I was sitting at my computer, I decided to ask Crystal's picture a question.

“What are your fantasies?”

I made a motion and said, “dominating a man.”

I then started talking to her guides. They told me she was groped when she was a kid by a man she didn't know.

I smiled. “Did he grope her in the boob?” I asked this, just to be perverted.

I didn't get an answer. They said they would not answer that.

I told Erik I discovered something about the picture trick. It only answers if you ask with pure intentions. If you have negative intentions, it does not answer.

I danced around downstairs late at night, then sat down on the chair. I thought, hey, I could sleep right here! I thought about it, and started to go into a trance.

I sat downstairs on the chair, nodding off. Something prevented me from falling into a deep slumber. Instead, I lay awake. The alcohol I had been drinking had left my system. I sat, and sat, and sat, not channeling, breathing. And then, I mistakenly awoke.

I was awake. Something was not right. There was something off about the way my mind was working, I spoke out loud, “Woah! That's cool!”

What? What was I talking about?

“I'm your subconscious mind! We just had a revelation!”

What? Weird, weird, weird, weird.... But I was still in a hypnogogic state, so I didn't freak out.

“You want to know what the revelation is, don't you? It's about drinking! I realized, when I drink before I have a spiritual experience, it makes it less weird, less intense, less outside the box.... But easier to understand by other people's standards!”

Huh. I remembered how I had drank the night before I had my “enlightenment” back in college. What else could I get from this odd, odd, odd thing that was happening? My subconscious mind was talking to me. What should I ask? What questions?

“I contain lots of valuable information, Rachel. Try me.”

Okay. I have a question. Last year. When “Brandon” wrote, “my other messsages disappeared...” Who wrote that? Why did that happen? Do you know, intuition?

I spoke out loud again. “Oh, I can tell you that one... A certain guy wrote that. One you know from Innercept.”

Nick?

“No, no, no.... Not a resident, a staff member.”

I asked for awhile, trying different people, until I finally landed on who it was... Jordan, a stable staff member, whom I had had a crush on. He had written that. Woah! What a revelation!

“Yes! He got your password, because you know, they keep track of every keystroke on the computers in the computer lounge...”

This was actually true, they did track every keystroke.

“So he went on their computer, found your password, and now he checks your facebook profile. He was looking at it when you were talking to Erik, and when he saw an opportunity to meddle, he did, because he has a crush on you.”

But, wait. I had changed my password at that time.

“He opened it before you changed your password, and now, he just keeps it open all the time.”

Wow.

“I can tell you something else too. What a certain girl thinks of you. Alicia.”

I remembered Alicia. She was the girl Chance used to have a crush on, back in the 8th grade.

“She thinks you are a retarded sociopath.”

Except, instead of using the term retarded sociopath, it used another word, which I understood to mean that. We were speaking a different language, a little bit. Later, I didn't remember that we were speaking a different language. When I heard the word for retarded sociopath, something odd happened. I was in such an altered state... I understood what the term meant, and knew it to mean something bad, but something enveloped me, and told me that it was not bad at all. This was good. I knew that this was bad, but at the same time I could not feel any negative emotion about it because something told me it was good.

“She thinks this, because of that message you sent her when you friend requested her... She denied, of course, you remember. But you said something about you being a community disruptor... And she thought you meant, because Melvin called your name out in class, that was you disrupting the community. And that was really really stupid.”

I wondered about this. That seemed funny, interesting, strange... but awful unlikely. Both these stories seemed unlikely. Is this true? Really true? These stories you are telling me?

“Yeah! These are true!”

I thought about this. Do you know this for a fact?

“No.”

There you go.

“We like to pretend, though. We pretend a lot of times these things are true. We can tell you some other stuff if you like, what about your repressed memories?”

What kind of memories do you repress?

“We repress, not just traumatizing memories. Usually, memories which are simply just annoying. Lots and lots of annoying memories bug us, so we repress them. There's another kind of memory we repress. It's a word you know but won't think of.”

I guessed a lot of words, thought for a long time, then finally located the word it was referring to. Facetious. The word was facetious.

Have I ever been raped?

This is when it got angry. “YES!” I yelled quite loudly.

By whom?

“Matthew Mason!”

What? No, he didn't.

“Yes he did! He raped me with his hands!”

I remembered at break at school, when he would put my hands all over me. I wasn't assertive enough to tell him to knock it off.

Do you like Matthew Mason?

“I hate him! Hate him! Hate him! HATE HIM!”

Was I raped by anyone else?

“Yes. That time when you went over to that guy's house, and you woke up the next day in your underwear in another guy's apartment. You left because the first guy raped you.”

Where are the other ideas in my mind going?

“You are going to go far in life, Rachel. I can tell you that. You will be famous, you will make a lot of money, and your name will be in lights.”

I then woke up. Not really, because I was already awake, but in an altered state. I came out of that altered state. When I got out of that state, I continued talking out loud through a similar neural pathway, which I had just located, as a direct connection to my spirit guides.