Burn Like Jesus: Chapter 5

My guides told me my soul was up in heaven making jokes. Some of them were funny, some of them were not. I was worried. Was I making a fool of myself up there?

I was in the kitchen one night, believing in ghosts, when my guides told me it was time for taste bud balancing. Taste bud balancing was something we did from time to time, where they had me eat just a morsel of a few different foods of different tastes.

Okay, first, a pinch of sugar.

Okay, now sour. One of those pickled pepper rings should do it.

Now, something bitter. Tumeric is good for that. Just a tad.

Now, umami. A small piece of roast beef is good.

Salty. A touch of salt.

Now, we are going to do one more. This is a taste that people know about, but don't like to talk about. It's pungent.

In the background, I heard a voice, “I don't want to talk about it!”

I laughed at this, hard. I took a piece of parmesan cheese, as instructed, and ate it.

Who was that? I asked. The person who said, “I don't want to talk about it?”

Oh, that. That's your soul making jokes up here.

I laughed my head off at this joke. With the Adderall brain, I also had an issue where I would laugh too much at one funny thing, even things that weren't all that funny, if they tickled my fancy the right way. This did it.

What is it saying now? My soul?

What do you think? I'm telling your secrets! He said.

What is he saying now?

So you think you know possums? No way, jose! I'm a possum! Get it? O-possum?

I laughed really hard. What is he saying now?

So you think you know calculus? Derivative me a sandwich, bitch!

I laughed really hard.

What is he saying now?

Why don't you and I get together, take on the world and be together forever... I'm talking to you, girl.

He was coming on to me!

Burn Like Jesus: Four (tH chapter)

Let's see what chance is imagining. He is imagining you, sitting on the floor, with something in your lap. It's a strap on dildo. You are not going to fuck him though... You are going to fuck Adam in the ass.

Why does he want that?

He wants you to assert dominance over Adam, because he wants you to be smarter than him.

He has you on the floor, in the dining room, of his apartment. chance is dressing you in a school girl outfit. He is putting up a tent with your skirt so he can go in. He puts his foot in. Now, he looks at you in the eye. He sees something in your eye.

A twinkle? Said someone else.

No. You are looking at each other in the eyes. He knows what you are thinking. You are thinking he is better than you at something.

Robotripping? Said that other person again.

No. Withstanding heartbreak. Now, he is using scissors, cutting a hole. It's a portal to you. He wants to experience something that you have experienced. That thing is enlightenment. Now, he is putting a condom on his entire body, to protect himself, because he wants to become you, without taking on one of your traits.

What trait is that?

Your goody two-shoeness.

Now chance is imagining scissors, he is cutting the place where the fallopian tubes meet your cervix, so that you can't get pregnant. Now the scissors are cutting you up the middle, cutting you in two. You split in two. Now, there are two of you. Now, the two yous are having lesbian sex with each other.

Then I imagine the two me's holding hands, with a heart. My spirit guides tell me it is because the two me's are in love with each other, representing the fact that I should be fine just alone, and no one deserves me.

Now, the two me's become one me again. I am going down on him. Then, my butt starts to ascend upwards. I float away, off into the clouds.

You went up to heaven. Because you are that good.

Burn Like Jesus: Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I was sitting on my bed when Brandon interrupted my thoughts. He had a sexual fantasy for me.

My guides had told me that Brandon read my facebook posts, and my blog. I wasn't sure that I believed this, but I believed it on a conscious level.

Brandon has a sexual scenario he would like to share with you. He thinks you would like it. You are on the bed, sitting up. He is kneeling, putting his penis in your mouth. His hand is on the back of your head. He pulls out and ejaculates on your face. You put your hands on your face, and then rub the semen on your boobs.

That was it. He thought you would like that. That's why he wanted to tell you.

I tell him, that was very nice, thank you.

I found out I could get Brandon's sexual fantasies too. I watched.

I saw what Brandon was picturing, subconsciously. He is unhooking my bra, then unhooking a chain around my intestines. He goes down, dusts off around my vagina, because he thinks I am dirty, because of the thing with Ted. Not because he was homeless, because he was my sister's boyfriend. He is pulling something out, my IUD. It bothers him when girls have IUD's, it is annoying during sex. He is putting something in to prevent me from ever getting pregnant. Then he straps something over my mouth. He is forcefeeding me semen, and I am liking it. This is way, way too dark for me. I start freaking out. AHHH!!

Now he is taking the semen device, moving it up to your nose, dysfixiating you. Now he is moving it down, to the belly button, like an umbilical cord, so that the semen can encompass your whole body. He starts making me fatter with it, in a nourished sort of way. Now, he is sucking something out of you.

What is it?

Your dominant femininity.

Now, he is flailing you around. (all the while I can see all this in my mind).

Now, he is going down to your vagina and sucking something out of you. Something you do not want in there. Oh no, it's something you don't want to know is in there. Matthew put it there, not purposely, because of his attitude toward you. He had a very strong sex toy attitude toward you. This actually makes you good with men. We didn't know, we thought it was bad at first. We didn't know about it until now. It makes you more sophisticated around men who are interested in you.

He doesn't want other guys to be interested in you. We were wrong. This is a good thing. You both made an agreement, and he put it there with your permission. It also makes you less respectful in a sexual way towards yourself.

What is it? I ask.

It's a spiritual device that encompasses your vaginal fluids, making it easier to remove toxins from your mind.

Really?

No, but it's hard to explain. We explained it the best we could.

Okay, now let's look at Brandon's fantasy... He is imagining semen shooting magically into your mouth, a whole bunch.

I could picture this in my mind. There were two rays going from my nose down to the shoot of semen.

What's that?

You have eyes on your nose. They are looking at the semen. Now your nose is smelling the semen and loving it. What's happening now? You have an umbilical cord of semen connected to your belly button. I watch, and watch my abdomen lift into the air, and move around, then I am pregnant. A semen baby! You are pregnant now. Now the semen baby is traveling up your torso, into your heart, taking something from your heart, traveling up to your brain... What did it take from my heart? The thing that keeps its pace? Yes. Now it is traveling up into the sky with it. You are dead. That's what he wants, from a sexual perspective. To kill you.

Unwritten

The mind-flip is self-explanatory. If you have it, you know you have it and it is supernatural. Which proves God because it implies the brain was designed intelligently. However, there is that ever-lasting but over now, shadow... Not ever-lasting because it's not eternal. The need for confirmed reasoning went away at Unity fucking Hospital, fuckers. Do I care? Yes but... I care.