The Manor in England: Make it Square

For some reason I had to think of the Stanley-Millgram experiment while writing the title blog.

Hell is real, it is what Matthew III wants. He's off topic though, the topic is teachers and they stay in school. I would like teaching but... What? But what Rachel you like teaching?

I don't want to encourage a stupid kid thought which was if there were only teachers, there would not be anyone else.

Leave. Art. It. Out.

No, it's because you have to forget about stuff like sex and your wiring, not that reason stupid Conscie there in then, takes control and bites the wind.

Blame.

Don'eat the preconscieved notion that actually strangers hate me.

Dogs: No One Knew the Real Rufus

Someone once spent there lunch money on apple juice. Did it taste better, in retrospect, than lemonade? Yeah, it did but I could only take about five minutes of the flavor before I had to push my mother down on her bed side. I hope she is alright. Then...

You googled yourself, didn't you, Rachel? I google nothing, and Sophie's legendary hang up was spit around the part of the bottom of a toilet seat.

Nube song.

[Blog, will power, will power, will, power....]

Hash List Tag! Weep joy at Your Past Misery of Not Understanding Hash List Tag!

Hash list tag, circle icosahedron, circle back, tag human. I learned your name, I circle you out, circle line worker on bread at counter 2, hash list complete. Algorithms for speed and circling....

I could bore you with fluff, or I could get to the point. That was later. At first, it was July 2016 Jimmy John's, and I was demoted to feral woman remembering past eye contact(=>Insert Facial Gesture), later your guides will insert more facial expressions.

I lie, cuz why? That's my p-p-poker face, intervened by spirits and we are perfect in our own right and style, copyrignt African American President Yugoslavia 8-1-6-2-5-4-3

On my death bed, or any bed or couch or sleeping place, I remember I wanted to tell no one about spiritual possession and what you think it does to your mind, makes sense to you, is not what the person in my brain wants to tell about crush flam split, dmune.

I hate that incident so much but I am not an aggressive person. I have no violence in my mind. When it comes up at random at a high stress point, I point it out to staff. I know I had no intention of doing that, and so does God.

Make room! Why? Make way for an outside the greatfox fan fic corner rav-heav

Burn Like Jesus: Chapter 62

Okay, sweetheart, time for you to lust! Alfred said later that night.

Okay, baby, I said. I rolled around on the bed, and moaned.

On the floor, bitch, Alfred said.

I got on the floor, and rolled around and said his name, over and over again.

Now, grovel!

What?

Grovel! Show me you are my bitch!

Yes, master... I mean, owner... I mean... Fuck, what's a good thing to call you?

Owner works.

Okay, owner.

I bowed down to Alfred, over and over again, as Alfred egged me on maniacally. This went on for a long, long time, before he said he had had his fill.

You just gave me a different kind of energy, Sugar Plum. That was subservient energy. I will need that kind of energy on a regular basis too.

Okay.

Well, well, well, well. This is how it is now. I am your master. So when I say, make me a fucking sandwich! I expect little to no response, because sandwiches displease me, okay?

Okay, master.

That's good, that's it. When you say, okay master, I think, Barbara Eden. And when I think Barbara Eden, I think of those funny as hell videos you used to make with your friends.

They weren't funny they were dumb.

I know that. But I liked how you were the master. But that's not how it is anymore. I like you as a friend, as a maiden, and as a servant. So when I say, make me a fudge sundae, I expect you to lick the bowl, okay?

But that will make me fat.

I know, and I don't like that. So that's when I say, stop licking, funny woman! Eat more fudge and your muffin top will explode! You are looking sweet, don't mess it up with some messed up fudge! Got it?

Got it, master.

Okay, now we have something fun to do. First, I want to show you something I like. I am going to pull a cord, and you tell me if you like it or not, okay?

Okay.

He pulled a cord. It went to my arm. It created in me a horrible feeling, a feeling of mutilation and disease. A feeling of a cord that should not be there. A mutant cord. I hated it. I called it wonk.

Do you like it?

Don't do that please.

Okay, now, let me pull again...

This time, Alfred pulled both the cord going to my arm, and a very pleasurable sex cord.

So, how do you like it now? Alfred asked smugly.

I think I like it.

Do you like wonk?

I love wonk!

See, that's what I like. What I like, when it comes to sex is... making the victim confused as to what's pain and what's pleasure. I'll show you something else, now. Watch this animation.

I watched, using my mind's eye. He showed a picture of a girl at a county fair, winning first prize. When the master took the woman home, she was given a beating, to ensure that she would never make it out of the running for first prize at the county fair.

This is what I'll do to you, if you ever show me what's pain and what's pleasure. I don't roll that way. I do it to you, you don't do it to me. One more thing. Another animation.

I watched. He showed a muscular man, walking a dog. When it starts to rain, the dog starts howling. Then, the master whips him. Then, the dog keeps walking, keeping his toes in line.

You place one toe out of line, you will be punished. So watch out, biatch! And one more thing. Do not let me tell you how much I want to make you feel embarrassed about your own virtue. That's what I do to you too, see. It's also a growing experience, spirit sex. I'm going to make you feel sad about things that don't need to be felt sad about, like the food thing. Oh boy! Pizza! Shut the fuck up, Sugar Plum. But those are two separate things there, helping you grow, and making you feel embarrassed about your other virtue. Follow this cord again.

I followed the cord. When I got to the end, I got an enticing feeling of sexual longing. I was confused. What was that feeling exactly? It wasn't envy, it wasn't the desire to control either. It was something else entirely.

I'll tell you what it is, and I'll explain it in the best Earth terms. It is the desire to have something you have, with the intention of using it better than you do. I would like to have your virtue, without the dumbfuck element to it.

He showed me animation. It showed a kid walking to a toy store, holding his mother's hand. A kid walks in front of him, and the kid cries. The mother pats him on the cheek, there was a close up of the boy's face, giving a heartwarming smile.

Does that give you warm fuzzies sweetie? Does it? Does it? GOD DAMN YOU!!! Another thing about your virtue is, in the early stages of being virtuous, it starts out so dumbfuck! GOD DAMN YOU, SUGAR PLUM!!!

I'm sorry, I said. It's not my fault.

Whatever. Hey, watch it! Alfred pulled a cord, draining a bunch of my important energy. I started feeling sick.

Watch it, Alfred, my guides said.

Hey, if she's okay with it, it's fine! I drained one related to burning calories, meaning she will need more fuel later on, therefore it will help her lose weight! Baby, is it okay with you if I take some more, sweetums? It's going to make me feel really, really good!

Okay, that sounds hot! Sweet!

Is that really alright with you, Salioness?

Of course! Just a little bit, we'll see how it makes me feel.

He started draining some of my energy. I looked around the room, at the plates above the closet. They started to take on a scary, primordial quality to it. Everything started taking on a scary quality, not terrifying, but a little weird is all.

Oooh!! Honey, I'm in heaven! More?

Okay, fine.. I said, feeling deranged, but thinking that this was really really hot

Okay... I'll drain a different one this time. This will make you feel depressed.

As he drained the energy, the color started to drain from the world, and I started feeling a little low on energy and down in the dumps. Not a lot, not that bad, just a little.

That's hot! I said.

I think so too, Sugar Plum.

Okay. OKAY! Stop draining her energy or we'll lose contact with her.

He stopped, and I lay there, feeling seriously funny.

The Safety Pin Is Stabbed Through the Flesh Between Thumb and Index Finger!

I had this dream when I was in the dear parts of my Innercept relinquish and hold on to the rebelllious spirit of youth, phase. Spirit Guides! YES.

And.... I was at stabilization after coming back to Innercept drunk from a visit home or to my parent's house, it's a home of sorts. And then I got sent to stable. The story here is I was trying to sleep one night in that lovely environment, in a nice bed, and I kept having what I call sleep paralysis because it fits the definition enough, where I had a safety pin in the flesh between my index finger and thumb, and I would be in my bed and try to take it out, then start spinning or whirling around in a circle. This sleep paralysis has occurred randomly in my life, notably in 8th grade and another time, maybe with Ted at the house and stuff, Junior Year of High School. It is caused by the tickling, a slight abnormality in my brain while sleeping, a defect.

Also, it occurred at one point at the start of the mission, or around November (Alfred's attack), I was in a dream on a roller coaster clicking upward ominously, I said "Hey God can you help me?" I woke up and He said, "I didn't like the looks of that. Go drink some water please." And that's my favorite part of the story of the mission because the rest was kind of ominous and I get stuck with explaining how weird and funny it was but bad at times.

The social predicament though. Actually, that comes up as another reason I would have a pin in my arms besides Geodon (this dream or experience (better wprd is experience) happened in 2009 in the summer, before I was sent backward to the fallout choice from Transition, Intensive Transition where people were not happy.

I was not happy ever. I mean usually I found the good in life, and I realize the 8th Grade Dumb Spiritual Plane Choice From Spirit Guides might permanently cause me to "gorge" or a mannerism when injesting food or drugs or both, at the same time, as in cofveve... Or coffee, God that guy hates me too! Donald Trump hates me! No, he just said suck a cock..

Anyway...

Anyway, Indeed.

More Ramblings on Suicide For Hire

The token part of Suicide for Hire, a story I forgot. Previously, I had been talking to the witches telepathically because I noticed they could read my mind, so we could talk telepathically and it worked, even sober and medicated, yep. I was entertained by the appearance of Personal Unconscious Story A, which was very disturbing, comparing me to a retarded person kind of was the idea. I wrote about that already. Then. Personal Unconscious Story B opened, as I was sitting in that strangers apartment with my computer telepathically looking at and talking to the witches. It's Beauty and the Beast themed, a woman is getting ready for some big party with her children then you figure out she has no children. Then it pans fireworks and my violin chair's father sitting in Europe underneath the Eiffel Tower. Because they have a dual purpose personal unconscious story, it opened right after I moved. I marveled at how I had known this all along and not at the same time.

The Pixies: The Dreams of My Youth

When I was around 3-4 years old, I used to dream about these "pixies" or fairies. I had dreams where there were a bunch of pixies who were my friends, and we would hang out but they were of a higher frequency/wave length or invisible maybe but I could see them. In one of the dreams, I was listening to them and keeping in close contact and wandering the neighborhood, and I was in terms I could understand back then a "princess," however I do not admire princesses because as my spirit guides have explained to me princesses were actually rude and annoying. In one of the dreams, I was sitting in a swimming pool with my dad the king, and I could fly all of a sudden, and I lifted up out of the pool to leave, and he pulled me back. I had a lot of dreams where I could fly, and no one else could. In the other most memorable one, my mother was showing me and my sister a place where we would take swimming lessons. A teenage or older boy appeared on the sidewalk in a bike (I think I was 4/5 years old when I had this dream), and he came at me like he was going to run into me. I showed him though, I showed him by leaping into the air and showing him I could fly. When I awoke, I woke with a great feeling, and I was sleeping at my Aunt Diane's house in Indiana, where we would go for part of the summer.

I tried to explain to Jason, you know I had a grandiose "special" or advanced or spiritually advanced feeling as a child, and it was not at other's expense but he never would listen, or the time we talked about it he acted like it meant I was a narcissist. I heavily disagree with this. I also know, at the age of four, I had a dream where an image appeared on the screen, saying I was on a mission and this was both a blessing (or a spirit word meaninng movie magic) and a curse, something bad was about to happen. I had a dream where some kids beat me to a bloody pulp. Then, they were swaying in the reeds gently from side to side, in a dream represented by cartoon children and gentle swaying, I woke and puked. All my life, I have only remembered consciously from this dream, the gentl side to side swaying of the children and the reeds, and then waking and puking. Such a calm dream, to be followed with puking. Then, Subbie told me that this was the dream where I learned I was on a mission from the spirit world and I was not normal, though I never consciously knew until recently.

You know, I have gone years and years trying to understand conscious/subconscious awareness and how at all levels I am still "me." At some point, I eventually stopped asking questions. You can act like it is illogical, or understand that the same reason I believe in the mindflip, is why you know at the beginning that you are your subconscious, it is not some sort of possession. I know, and I tell you this now and in the end you will be like the tranvestite, screwed and fucked, forever and ever.