Help Like Jesus: Part 20

We talked, walked, and ate chicken. The next day, it was time to make coffee. I had this aversion to the coffee pot. I hated making coffee so bad, I usually waited for my mom to wake up to make it for me. This morning, I forced myself to anyway.

You have an engram against making coffee, my guides told me. It came to be part of your existence when you were at Innercept. When you had to hide the fact that you were making coffee, you developed an anxiety engram against making coffee.

When my mom got up in the morning, she complained vociferously about the mess. She said it was horrendous, it was such a big deal it tore her apart inside! Oh no, there is a little bit of coffee grounds and a splash of spilled coffee on the counter! Call the police! My guides told me that she also had an engram against spilt coffee, from when she spilled coffee as a kid. They did know this, her guides said so.

I cleaned up the kitchen a bit. I was running the garbage disposal and pushing pieces of asparagus down it, watching the way they bobbed. In my mind, a funny idea entered. I imagined each piece of asparagus as a person, bobbing, bobbing, bobbing. They were going to die! My guides looked down, and they had faces and bodies like porcelain china dolls. They moved like bobble head dolls, their heads slightly from side to side. There mouths were fixed in silent O's, like oh no! And there was a brush, painting their cheeks pink, like they were embarrassed.

I got this image in my head, and at first tried to ignore it because I thought it was dumb, but like the urinator thing, it was more funny than it was embarrassing. I told the guides about it. They said it was funny. Pretty damn funny.

Later on, I was wondering about it, as I was getting the mail. Was that funny in a good way? Or funny in a bad way?

It did weird us out in a bad way, but yeah, we thought it was funny too.

I was a bit worried about this, that I had done something dumb. Later on though, quite awhile later, they told me something else about it. I was actually poking fun of them with that idea. It was something I thought of subconsciously. That motion, the motion of the asparagus bobbing down the garbage disposal, was a motion that irks out spirit guides to the max. There are quite a few things that irk out spirit guides. It creates an emotion in them similar to humiliation. So when they said it weirded them out in a bad way, they meant because of the motion, and the bobbling heads didn't help any either, they said. It was plenty funny, what I was thinking, but it was mean to them.

I would sit on facebook, and browse. I would become easily spooked by the images. There was a picture of a bear with bright eyes shining. I saw this, froze, and stared at the bear. Woooh... Woohh.. Creepy... Woooh... And I stopped communicating with my guides and stared, not freaked out, more like spooked. This became a running joke. We would make fun of my odd emotional reactions to pictures, and we would have a good laugh.

When I went for walks, I would bring my headphones. We would talk, and laugh, and hobgoblin around. When we were walking by the other part of the neighborhood, I would stop and sing to the birds. The bird spirits talked to me. They said, the birds are very receptive to sound. If you hum a melody, they will repeat it. I hummed a melody, as loud as I could. They did not repeat it. The bird spirits said they love you, because the bird is your spirit animal. Try telling a bird how much you love him, and then acting like you care so much, and then pretending you don't, and see how it likes that!

As I walked, I felt guilty. I thought of my connection to the animals, great and small. We love to idolize animals, but sometimes we are mean to them too. I remembered being a kid, and torturing ants viciously, just because I could. I felt bad that I had done that. I told the ants, in my mind, I am sorry. And I heard a response.

“WE FORGIVE YOU, RACHEL!” In a high pitched, squeaky voice.

My guides started telling me something about my looks. You are beautiful, Rachel. You have a look that is very spiritually intelligent. Your eyes, the shape. It appeals to some people, but not all. People who are spiritually intelligent see the precise shape of your eyes as being beautiful, in a more meaningful way than most women are.

Really? I asked, astonished.

Yes, really. Brandon sees it. Your mom sees it. Orion sees it. Erik sees it. A lot of people see it.

What does that mean, spiritually intelligent?

Spiritually intelligent looking is a look that appeals to people on similar wavelengths, for reasons beyond sexual attractiveness, though the two things aren't mutually exclusive. We can tell you some celebrities who are spiritually intelligent looking to give you an idea. Angelina Jolie is beautiful, but she is also spiritually intelligent looking. Helena Bonham Carter is spiritually intelligent looking. Jack Nicholson, Tim Burton, Zoey Deschanel, Will Smith, Tom Cruise, Matt Damon, Hugh Laurie. Some that are not at all include, Jessica Alba, Christina Aguilera, Madonna, Lady Gaga, Jennifer Lawrence, Leonardo Dicaprio.

Does it say something about their soul, their spiritual intelligent look?

Usually more advanced souls are more spiritually intelligent looking, but it is not a rule. It is a choice they make. It is also luck of the draw. Genetics, which they don't necessarily choose.

Let's listen to some music, my guides said. We want to share with you one of our favorite songs. The favorite song amongst people in the spirit world who love the Earth plane. The song is, The Beautiful People, by Marilyn Manson.

I was taken aback by such an odd music choice. I liked that song, but it wasn't a song I considered to be anything close to spiritual.

We love that song because it is making fun of a well-known fact in the spirit world about the Earth plane. People who are more attractive are usually less spiritually evolved, in general. Usually, people choose to be attractive if they need it to boost their small ego, or self-worth. People choose to be ugly if they don't need that ego boost to feel good about themselves. Again, this is not a rule. People choose it for other reasons. Your sister chose to be attractive, not because she needed the ego boost, but because it helps people see her for what she is, and it helps her to get the job she wants to get. She hasn't decided yet what it is, but she wants to be famous, and famous people usually have to be attractive. She is also very spiritually intelligent looking. When two women eat sugar, they starve. It is hard to understand why women would choose not to be attractive when it is such a better thing than being ugly, however... it is easier to evolve spiritually when you don't have that meaningless ego boost. In the spirit world, for the Earth plane... If we call someone ugly, that's a compliment. We think you're attractive, Rachel.

When three women eat starch, they grow. Spiritually intelligent can be an ego boost, but it is more of a way of recognizing other spiritually developed souls. Your look is attractive to people on similar wavelengths. That's why people who like you are usually good people. That, and they see something in your aura, which we are working on right now. We are putting something beautiful in your aura. You will notice a change in the way people treat you and look at you in public.

Sarah from Innercept was coming to visit, for gay pride in Portland. Beforehand, my mom told me I couldn't go, because she didn't think I was “well” enough to go downtown and be part of something like that, with the drinking and whatnot. Beforehand, while we were doing energy work, we removed a cord of anticipation to the gay pride event, because I had been looking forward to it.

I needed to buy incense. There was a store downtown that sold incense, at the Saturday Market, a sort of hippie festival. Sarah and I met at my house, and we headed out and ate lunch. I was under strict orders not to go downtown, but she wasn't the boss of me. We took a cab downtown to the Saturday Market.

As we walked, I looked at the people, and muttered to myself, channeling. “Yes, this is better than we thought. You are going to be received well by the public. Very, very well. The way they look at you, they see something in you. We sense it.”

We passed a raving lunatic homeless guy on the sidewalk. He was raving about hell. He caught my attention. I smiled, reached into my pocket and gave him a bunch of change. My guides said the appearance of this man was a good sign.

We arrived at the incense shop. I smelled each one, and my guides told me which one to pick. As I picked out ten, my fingers fumbled and I put one back and took another.

That means this is not the right scent, my guides told me. It's a sign. Take this one instead.

I took ten of the others without issue, and purchased them. Then, we had to pee. We used the restroom, and I chewed a piece of nicotine gum. As I waited, my guides told me I was done with the gum. Throw it on the sidewalk. I did so, reluctantly. They told me that normally, littering gum was bad luck. In this state, it is good luck.

We continued walking, down by the riverside. There was some other gay pride event taking place. Sarah wanted to go in, but I told her no. It looked like a waste of time.

She drank a little bit out of a bottle in her backpack, and I refused. We went to the mall, and sat at Starbucks, as I needed a Mocha frappuccino for the electrolytes. I drank, and felt instantly better. Then, I had to use the restroom again. I wandered off to find it.

I used it, and while I was sitting there, my guides told me something. I was the messiah. Believe it. You are the messiah! Don't doubt yourself anymore, everything will work out for the better.

You are not an old soul. Not at all. You are actually a very, very young soul. That lifetime we told you about, the one where the universe crashed? That was your most recent lifetime. YOUR MOST RECENT LIFETIME! You were so shaken up after the crash, you refused cocooning. It took quite a bit of work on you to get you back to normal. The people who were in the universe crash with you, they abhored you for freaking them out before the universe crashed. You showed them the picture, you didn't like their reaction, you screamed! It brought on the end of the world! As it crashed, they sent you the worst kind of energy there is. Energy that drains your vital energies. The energy of wanting you completely annihalated. You hung on, just barely, and refused cocooning afterwards. You said something along the lines of, “That's for babies!”

They told me all this in the restroom, of all places. I got out, washed my hands, my face contorted into a look of shock and bewilderment. Woah...

Don't look anyone in the face. You are very sensitive to people's facial expressions right now. Find Sarah and go back to the house.

As I walked around, they told me that they were preparing me to be Jesus. Not on this plane, the Jesus of the dimension. I would be sacrificed for an hour of torment, to save the souls of the people in the dimension. Another soul, a really weird but good soul, would be sacrificed for all of eternity to a place like hell. Don't feel bad for this soul, it's a weird soul. It will enjoy it, knowing it's helping so many other souls.

Later, they told me they were full of shit when they told me this. They knew I liked weird stories. Weird stories kept me happy. The universe crash was for real though.

I found Sarah. She was back as Starbucks. As I looked at her face, I noticed how beautiful she was. Her eyes were gorgeous. She had a similar shape to the one I had, which they called the diamond shape. A little different, but similar. I wondered why I had never noticed how pretty she was before.

We went to Pioneer Square, and waited for my sister to pick me up. As we sat and waited, a young boy, about 19, came and asked if he could borrow my phone. I let him. I was sitting there while he was texting, and something inside me kicked in. I didn't know this guy. He could easily steal my phone! I got up and hovered over him, very menacingly, so that if he got up to run, I could easily tackle him. He texted, and he handed the phone back to me, because I asked.

I looked at the texts. He was texting some guy about a phone he wanted to sell him. The guy texted back, and I handed the phone back to the boy who was borrowing it, and hovered with an increasing air of menace.

He handed the phone back to me. I knew he wouldn't take it if I was standing over him. Still I didn't trust this guy. I decided not to hand him my phone anymore. I received a text.

“What's the serial number?”

I asked this of the boy.

“Oh, shit, nevermind.”

I texted this back as he stood over me. As he stood, he mentioned something about his mother. “She is a good girl, but when it comes to me and my nefarious activities...”

I laughed. A good hearty chuckle, like we shared an inside joke right there.

The boy left, and when I looked at him, I noticed he was asking a woman for money.

My sister arrived, and the two of us left.

In the coming weeks, that guy kept calling out to me on the spiritual plane. He said he knew I was on to him, and that it made him feel better in a way, because he hates doing what he does, but he does it to survive. It made him feel better in a way because I knew, but I didn't get mad, I didn't make a a scene, I didn't tell him to get lost, I even laughed at what he said.

I walked to the store, to buy a Red Bull. When I got there, I was oblivious to my surroundings. As I bought my drink, I looked someone in the eye. They looked me back. We locked eyes, than I looked away. As I was drinking my Red Bull, a spirit named Allie came and talked to me.

You need to work on your body, Rachel. Your body is withering into nothing. You need to work out, eat less, and breathe more air. When you go home this evening, watch the news only. It shows what happens to people who do not take themselves seriously anymore. They end up in jail.

This is a bad spirit. Do not listen. Get it away from you. We walked home together, and when I got home, I went back up to my room.

I was sitting on the bed, when a spirit named Rita came and talked to me. “You need help with your alcohol consumption. You need to drink less alcohol. It is hurting your internal organs.”

I thought this was funny, because I wasn't drinking at all. When we stopped talking to each other, Rita watched me from a distance. She made a melody for my brain, and played it in my head over and over and over again. It was a haunting melody, so weird I had to listen to my own music to get it out.

While I watched TV one night, a spirit named Mary came and spoke to me. She said she was watching my every move, and she liked what she saw. She was going to help me rise to the top, and we needed help from a higher power. When I looked for the remote, she said she hid it. I looked and it was under a cushion. She told me I found the missing piece to the puzzle, come eat cake with me! And then she left.

When I went to the kitchen to get a Luna Bar, some spirit told me I needed to eat ice cream. I knew better, but asked again anyway. No, do not eat ice cream. It will slow down your metabolism to a screeching halt. You need fiber. When you make it out of here tonight, do not let the spirits bring you down to their level. They are trying to hurt you.They want you to fail your mission.

As I was walking down the hall, I saw a wisp of something out of the corner of my eye. It was a ghost, I wisped it away with the thing on the back of my neck.

As I was walking down the hall, I saw another ghost. It told me it was looking for it's father. Help me find him. I told him I didn't want to, I was busy. It then told me if I didn't help it, I would die a horrendous death by falling off a statue. Then, it proceeded to try to fight me. I put up a shield, subconsciously, which was too powerful for it, because it wasn't very powerful.

As I was sleeping one night, spirits would gather around me. They told me stories of their times while alive, and tried to get me to help them. I told them I could not, they were not on the same place of dwelling. My guides and I tried to get them out, but there were way too many.

I talked to a spirit downstairs. He said his name was Marvel, from Lincoln, Nebraska. I asked what he did for a living. He said make money. I asked what he liked to do. He said kill people with swords.

We wandered downstairs, and made food for breakfast. When a bad spirit appeared, I screamed. The spirit laughed. I asked it what it wanted. It said it didn't need anything besides energy, and I was giving it energy by being scared.