Why do some energy workers use astrology?
My guides told me that astrology was tomfuckery. I already knew this, but I was glad they said it too!
One time, a long long time ago, I got energy work done on me from a shaman. She asked if she could use astrology. I wanted to say no, but I said yes anyway, because that was her thing.
So I asked my guides tonight, why do these "energy workers" use astrology? If it is full of shit, why do they use it? Here is what they said.
First they said, we think they like to buy into the same bullshit that their earthlings do. Not because it's true, but because they buy into the same tomfuckery because it makes the earthling feel complete.
When I asked again, they said that guides typically know it is full of shit, but some are inexperienced and don't know their fuckery. When a guide says, hey, you can use astrology, that's great! I think, dumbfuck. Not because I believe it's full of shit, but because it is. That's not it. When guides say, Find hope in small things, they don't mean, star signs. They mean, fun little things like rainbows. So when they ask their guides, Can I use astrology? They think, well, maybe, but don't count on anything weird happening as a result. Another thing about it is, when guides use astrology, they do not know what they are doing typically, and can mess things up. Rachel, your energy working friend was a good girl at the nuts and bolts aspect of energy work, but not good at shamanism. She was a crappy shaman. That is all.
Another thing worth mentioning is, something akin to astrology is very, very real on many, many planes, but not the Earth plane. So when guides think astrology is real, they are following a rumor that is on the other side about Earth astrology which isn't true even in the slightest.
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Sunday, January 18, 2015
Monica: A Story Without an End
Monica Lewinsky. What does she mean to you? Does she mean disgust? Does she mean greed? Or does she mean misfortune?
Some people understand less about Monica, and more about Bill. He was a great guy, until Monica gave him a blow job. And then, he was a mean old wimp. Yes, wimp. Not because he really was a wimp, but because he refused to tell the public about the blow job.
And everyone was asking, "Was it good?" "Did she use a good technique?" "Did she move her lips the right way?" "Did she swallow?" And Bill was like, "Way, way, way not telling!" And everyone asked, "Why won't you tell? Was it bad? Is she not good at that?" And Bill said, "No way, jose! Unless you give me some good reason to tell you, I'm not telling!"
And they could not give Bill a good reason. They just wanted to know is all. So Bill said, "Would I lie under oath?" And they said, "Of course you would! No one wants to say that a blow job by a girl they think is pretty is bad! That would hurt her feelings!" And Bill said, "But the blow job was nonexistent! There was no blow job!"
And it went on like this. Until I don't remember what happened, and Bill had to confess. And when he did, the paparazzi screamed. "You lied! You said there was no blow job! There obviously was!" And Bill said, "I was only trying to protect her privacy you numbskull! Of course there was a blow job! It was all right, not great, not bad either. She wanted to. You can't tell a girl who wants to do something so badly it hurts, no, you can't do that! Can you? Have you ever known a girl who really had her heart set on something, so bad, and when you told her she couldn't do it...." He was mad. He looked all the paparrazi straight in the eye, and they all looked him back. And he said, "What would you do if this fine young woman were your child? Would you let her do what she wanted to do? Or would you put your foot down at every turn?"
So that's the story of Bill and Monica. The story has a moral. Do not let your man work at the oval office, because it is a filthy breeding ground of debauchery.
Some people understand less about Monica, and more about Bill. He was a great guy, until Monica gave him a blow job. And then, he was a mean old wimp. Yes, wimp. Not because he really was a wimp, but because he refused to tell the public about the blow job.
And everyone was asking, "Was it good?" "Did she use a good technique?" "Did she move her lips the right way?" "Did she swallow?" And Bill was like, "Way, way, way not telling!" And everyone asked, "Why won't you tell? Was it bad? Is she not good at that?" And Bill said, "No way, jose! Unless you give me some good reason to tell you, I'm not telling!"
And they could not give Bill a good reason. They just wanted to know is all. So Bill said, "Would I lie under oath?" And they said, "Of course you would! No one wants to say that a blow job by a girl they think is pretty is bad! That would hurt her feelings!" And Bill said, "But the blow job was nonexistent! There was no blow job!"
And it went on like this. Until I don't remember what happened, and Bill had to confess. And when he did, the paparazzi screamed. "You lied! You said there was no blow job! There obviously was!" And Bill said, "I was only trying to protect her privacy you numbskull! Of course there was a blow job! It was all right, not great, not bad either. She wanted to. You can't tell a girl who wants to do something so badly it hurts, no, you can't do that! Can you? Have you ever known a girl who really had her heart set on something, so bad, and when you told her she couldn't do it...." He was mad. He looked all the paparrazi straight in the eye, and they all looked him back. And he said, "What would you do if this fine young woman were your child? Would you let her do what she wanted to do? Or would you put your foot down at every turn?"
So that's the story of Bill and Monica. The story has a moral. Do not let your man work at the oval office, because it is a filthy breeding ground of debauchery.
Sunday, January 11, 2015
You Will Want to Read More on the Subject When Not Under The Influence of Shrooms
What is money?
We love money, but do we know what it is? Do we exist without care for the environment, and pretend we enjoy things of a monetary nature, without understanding what it is?
We love money. Money, money, money, beef. We hate beef, because it is easy to digest, hard wonder about, and hard to reexamine afterwards. When beef is eaten by homeless folks, their heads explode with passion. We understand why, but do not understand why women do not use their minds for exalting the men who do not explode, but instead implode.
When women of different ethnicities behave erratically, some do not perceive the same type of outcomes to their actions. When one woman loves another, the same woman becomes confused with adulterous waves. Sometimes, three women love each other at the same time. When three women love each other at the same time, they love each other not the same, but one more than another. Wither, dear friend. You cannot have it one way or the other, it is good not to ask too many questions of the subconscious mind or else it will behave without care for the conscious, and devour so many random eating disorder particles that it pretends to speak without care for the well-being of the mindless freaks who force feed algebra and geometry to wild woolly crazy death advertisers.
Believe, hobo of choice. Your urine is fertile, your mind is healthy, and your frenzied dog pile wonders are of a new age. Believe, particle wave enhancement therapy specialist. You know your shit, so don't believe what you are doing is helpful for the masses, instead, believe in the power of the Holy Ghost.
We love money, but do we know what it is? Do we exist without care for the environment, and pretend we enjoy things of a monetary nature, without understanding what it is?
We love money. Money, money, money, beef. We hate beef, because it is easy to digest, hard wonder about, and hard to reexamine afterwards. When beef is eaten by homeless folks, their heads explode with passion. We understand why, but do not understand why women do not use their minds for exalting the men who do not explode, but instead implode.
When women of different ethnicities behave erratically, some do not perceive the same type of outcomes to their actions. When one woman loves another, the same woman becomes confused with adulterous waves. Sometimes, three women love each other at the same time. When three women love each other at the same time, they love each other not the same, but one more than another. Wither, dear friend. You cannot have it one way or the other, it is good not to ask too many questions of the subconscious mind or else it will behave without care for the conscious, and devour so many random eating disorder particles that it pretends to speak without care for the well-being of the mindless freaks who force feed algebra and geometry to wild woolly crazy death advertisers.
Believe, hobo of choice. Your urine is fertile, your mind is healthy, and your frenzied dog pile wonders are of a new age. Believe, particle wave enhancement therapy specialist. You know your shit, so don't believe what you are doing is helpful for the masses, instead, believe in the power of the Holy Ghost.
Calculus: Human Art Brings Hope to the Human Race
What are mind hiccups? Do they exist without care? Are they used for their own special purpose?
Where, oh where, did my little dog go? This is a mind collapsed statement. When the dog goes away, so does the mind. The mind is gone. The dog is gone. Everyone knows when they hear these words, dogs are going to go to hell and kill each other very softly, over and over again, quickly, shortly, and precisely.
When one dog goes to hell, so does another. When three dogs go to hell, two dogs are left behind. Not on Earth, in heaven. When seventeen thousand dogs go to hell, seventeen hundred become one with the universe.
What does all this mean? Is this important to my spiritual development? No, not really. This is just jibber jabber, to distract you from the real issue at hand. Your mind is using too much calculus to pretend it exists without far-fetched ideas about Harry Potter.
Do not listen to the rimble ramble about calculus. Calculus is important, but not as important as hearing what you need to say for the rest of eternity. The words you speak mean volumes about where you are in your current state of life issues. If you are good at walking to the mall, someone will tell you that someone is not good at walking at all, and you should feel proud of yourself. Why? There is always someone who is bad at something, and they always know that it is not you who are doing the thing with your mind, it is your other half.
Believe in ecstatic visions of calculus, it is a beautiful art form. When one calculon breathes life into another, bring hope for the human race. We all need to know where you are going to get through this life time, it is easy to predict, hard to understand, and easy to recreate in the afterlife.
One thing about life is, calculus is not an art, it is an exquisite science. When calculus is good, so are your brain cells. Brink, do not eat the water, and believe in the power of the holy ghost.
Where, oh where, did my little dog go? This is a mind collapsed statement. When the dog goes away, so does the mind. The mind is gone. The dog is gone. Everyone knows when they hear these words, dogs are going to go to hell and kill each other very softly, over and over again, quickly, shortly, and precisely.
When one dog goes to hell, so does another. When three dogs go to hell, two dogs are left behind. Not on Earth, in heaven. When seventeen thousand dogs go to hell, seventeen hundred become one with the universe.
What does all this mean? Is this important to my spiritual development? No, not really. This is just jibber jabber, to distract you from the real issue at hand. Your mind is using too much calculus to pretend it exists without far-fetched ideas about Harry Potter.
Do not listen to the rimble ramble about calculus. Calculus is important, but not as important as hearing what you need to say for the rest of eternity. The words you speak mean volumes about where you are in your current state of life issues. If you are good at walking to the mall, someone will tell you that someone is not good at walking at all, and you should feel proud of yourself. Why? There is always someone who is bad at something, and they always know that it is not you who are doing the thing with your mind, it is your other half.
Believe in ecstatic visions of calculus, it is a beautiful art form. When one calculon breathes life into another, bring hope for the human race. We all need to know where you are going to get through this life time, it is easy to predict, hard to understand, and easy to recreate in the afterlife.
One thing about life is, calculus is not an art, it is an exquisite science. When calculus is good, so are your brain cells. Brink, do not eat the water, and believe in the power of the holy ghost.
Saturday, January 10, 2015
Bacon: Did it eat you, or are you done with your mind work today?
What is this idea you speak of? Wizards? Hogwash! Wizards exist only in fiction! But what if they did not? Would you know a wizard from a muggle? Or would the muggle pretend to be a wizard, and catch your ear socket? Please, I know wizards.
When you enjoy wizards, you pretend you don't exist in this present moment. When wizards enter your heart, you believe little about the present, and instead, exist with the wizards. When wizards become like you, you lose touch with reality, and bring hope to the human race.
When wizards eat bacon, they do not exist in this present moment. They think, oh, this bacon tastes good, wow, where did this come from? Now, muggle s. Damn autocorrect. When muggle s eat wizard food, they bring hope to the human race. What is wizard food? Rice crackers. That's what wizards eat from time to time, to create spells of ricey atmosphere in their minds. Which is conducive to spell work.
When you eat rice crackers, you do exist in the present moment, because they taste so bad. When normal people eat bacon, they do not like to think that they exist in the present moment, because it tastes so good. When normal people eat bacon, they think it tastes like heaven. But for some, they think it is good at stopping their minds from hell. Because bacon creates havoc for the minds mad center, and instead, makes them love words.
Instead of helping yourself to some more bacon, eat rice crackers. They love to be eaten by friends of the wizarding community. When you eat rice crackers, they will create mind food for the brain to eat fondly, and create nice neurotransmitters that help your body do its magic. Sometimes, when wizards eat bacon, they forget to stop chewing, because they forget what they are doing. This is because wizards enjoy bacon on a whole different level. When bacon is consumed by bacon lovers, they enjoy it so much, they eat it too often and the dopamine becomes resistant to the dopamine receptors. When you eat bacon, chew very softly, swallow completely, and forget where you are. This is bacon, not Hogwarts.
When you enjoy wizards, you pretend you don't exist in this present moment. When wizards enter your heart, you believe little about the present, and instead, exist with the wizards. When wizards become like you, you lose touch with reality, and bring hope to the human race.
When wizards eat bacon, they do not exist in this present moment. They think, oh, this bacon tastes good, wow, where did this come from? Now, muggle s. Damn autocorrect. When muggle s eat wizard food, they bring hope to the human race. What is wizard food? Rice crackers. That's what wizards eat from time to time, to create spells of ricey atmosphere in their minds. Which is conducive to spell work.
When you eat rice crackers, you do exist in the present moment, because they taste so bad. When normal people eat bacon, they do not like to think that they exist in the present moment, because it tastes so good. When normal people eat bacon, they think it tastes like heaven. But for some, they think it is good at stopping their minds from hell. Because bacon creates havoc for the minds mad center, and instead, makes them love words.
Instead of helping yourself to some more bacon, eat rice crackers. They love to be eaten by friends of the wizarding community. When you eat rice crackers, they will create mind food for the brain to eat fondly, and create nice neurotransmitters that help your body do its magic. Sometimes, when wizards eat bacon, they forget to stop chewing, because they forget what they are doing. This is because wizards enjoy bacon on a whole different level. When bacon is consumed by bacon lovers, they enjoy it so much, they eat it too often and the dopamine becomes resistant to the dopamine receptors. When you eat bacon, chew very softly, swallow completely, and forget where you are. This is bacon, not Hogwarts.
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