So I lived inside my mind, channeling, biding my time until I got released from the hospital. We looked at the things in the drawer, the mental drawer. Alcohol, pot, coke. No more pot or coke, unless I got that special marijuana I got last year. I hadn't done coke since I was in Santa Barbara, but still.
They told me the special marijuana I got from Larry had been laced with meth and the active ingredient in shrooms. It was great for thinking way outside the box. Instead of making you tired, it made you wide awake, and ready to attack the wayside furniture!
They told me something else about myself. I was going to be a sex symbol. Therefore, we had to get me in shape! We channeled an eating and exercise routine I was to use when I got out of the hospital. When we were done, I had written in my notebook for quite awhile. It was time to get up and remove my ideas of self. Meaning, music.
I went into the hall, and again, they got a song playing on the radio for me that was the right energy. Ever since my “enlightenment” in April, I was picky about music choice. I channeled advice for my mom, my sister, and my dad. I walked around the loop some more. I was having a good time.
I was sitting on the bed, relaxed, when I started channeling a spirit I hadn't channeled before. It was our dead cat, Amanda. She told me she liked me because I had good energy. She appreciated how during her final year on Earth, when she had a bloody ear problem, I would clean the blood up after her. She said she liked the television shows I would watch. She liked the Simpsons. It was a good show for cats because the voices are pleasing to cats. She said she understood the story lines too, on a subconscious level.
Well? What do you want to do, Rachel? My voice asked me.
Who are you?
I am your ideas about the universe.
I don't know, it doesn't seem like you'd be able to help me much with anything....
I'm not very helpful, I'll direct you to someone else. Your ego. Hello, I'm you. You need help with your love life. You are triangling up the place! Choose Adam! He is the one for you!
But I like Chance a little bit better, I think...
Oh, you do now, but Melvin will not nourish your mind! Adam will! There is something else you need to know too. Melvin is a dipshit. He likes you, but doesn't know how to talk to you. Dipshit! There! Go! Get him out of your mind!
And then I abruptly sat up. I walked around outside a little bit more, before returning to my room.
Upon returning to my room, I asked about objects. Do objects have souls?
Yes, they do. They are very mean souls, that's why they were given the task of being object. When objects do not do what they are supposed to, they are unhappy. When they are used for purposes other than their intended purpose.
Someone you know is going to be an object. Crystal, that girl you despise so much.
Really? That makes sense. After all, she did put puke in front of my door.
When objects talk to each other, they talk in gibberish. At least, that's what we think of it as. No one understands it. It is understandable why you feel the intention to hurt objects, Rachel, but they are not as bad as you think!
But I don't feel the want to hurt objects, I feel sorry for them...
Oh! So virtuous!
Virtuous?
You are virtuous. You are the most virtuous soul in the multiverse. It means self-sacrificing, for the good of someone else, rather than the good of yourself.
You are the most exquisite, virtuous soul in the universe. There hasn't been a soul this special in a long time. You are well-rounded too, and great with people. You make friends easily, in the spirit world.
When you go to bed tonight, take a shower and masturbate. You need to get off so badly, it is bugging the shit out of you!
That night, I masturbated in the shower, while the spirits told me what to think about.
I had a problem. I could only channel when sitting up. If I lay back and tried to channel, I would start channeling some random piece of my psyche. I channeled my hopes, aspirations, desire for human unity, pleasure center, one time I even channeled my “vibrator.” It got obnoxious, because I didn't know who I was channeling, I thought I was just channeling my guides. And then I would start talking, and saying weird ass stuff, and I would ask, who am I talking to?
That was what my guides tried to drill into me. Always ask, “Who am I talking to?” You never know who you are channeling, who you are not channeling, and what they know. Keep in mind what they know. They told me what different sets of guides were good at figuring out.
I walked down to the counter to get my medication. As I stood there, I heard a voice say, “I'll never tell!” like in the movie Don't Say A Word. It was Brittany Murphy.
“I would follow you, even if you weren't so important! You are that interesting!” She said she was watching me, that night at the hospital when I was having my existential crisis... And then, wham! A reference to one of her movies!
We did not talk for long. I went back to my room, after I had gotten my medication. I sat on the bed, and lay back, and began talking out loud, because I was trying to channel.
“Well, well, well. What have we here? A desire for the well-being of someone else? You do not know who you love, yet you love to know that they are okay! Where are you going in life, Rachel? You know so little about your own past, but yet... Try hard to understand, you are doing a great job of pretending! You know very little about algebra, yet, you are fully integrated with the minds of the few who help you pretend to organize your own thoughts! Believe! You are not the girl in the picture, the one with the sign that says she's a community disruptor... You are the girl who takes on the world!”
What do you think I will do with my life?
“You will be an actor, in the stage of real life... You are going to live beyond the rhythms of hobos, the moral of the story is... Don't forget to floss your teeth!”
And then it was gone. This was my desire center.
One day, I asked about Meg. They said Meg was gone. She wasn't coming back. Someone made fun of her and it hurt her feelings and she didn't want to be around anymore. It was okay, she was fine.
What happened?
They made fun of her for watching you, and you don't brush your teeth all the time. There is a rumor amongst bad souls in the spirit world that good souls on the Earth plane always brush their teeth.
That's all?
Yes. Actually, we were joking. She will be back.
What else is going on?
You are going to start a religion.
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