Help Like Jesus: Part 2

After awhile of reading people, asking them how they felt about me, I decided to try it on Erik, with his permission.

I looked at his picture, sucked in energy and pulled it back in my head, then breathed out, shooting at the person with the same psi signature as his picture, while simultaneously asking, “How do you feel about me?”

I slouched down, felt very weak. Without warning, I let out a hysterical crying noise, while putting my hands over my head and stroking my hair to help ease the pain, the imaginary pain which I didn't feel. Because when I did readings, I didn't feel any sort of emotion.

Erik: What did you feel?

Rachel: I think it was kind of like, intense emotion. Being hurt. Does that fit?

Erik: I think you're probably one of, if not currently the only, person who does the same thing as me as I do to them, in seeing past the walls they try to put up.

Rachel: So it was accurate!

Erik: But not in the way you may think. Did you think it was a flow towards you?

Rachel: What do you mean?

Erik: Okay, in communication and energy, you have different direction of flows.

Rachel: I ask the person in the picture what they feel about me...

Erik: What I mean is this. I'm currently hurt emotionally for a multitude of reasons, none of which involves you. I'm feeling very alone physically, and honestly just want companionship.

Rachel: It is about what you feel towards me.

Erik: I do still care for you, but there's too much going on for us to be anything, at least currently, I think.

Rachel: I don't want to be anything. I am trying to figure out if the reading was accurate or not.

Erik: I would hope you'd want to be yourself at least.

Rachel: With you, I mean.

Erik: I'm sharing with you my mindset.

Rachel: Are you still hurt over our breakup?

Erik: Anyway, the concept of emotional pain is there. But I didn't perceive it to involve you as a person... maybe though because of our past relationship, part of me still reaches out toward you.

Rachel: I think the answer is yes. That's no big deal honestly. All I really hope is that these readings are accurate.

Erik. Hmm. You should try it with Todd or someone else and ask them. I think I'm too easy for you, we still have that connection. LOL

Rachel: I didn't even think to do Todd! Why didn't I think of that?

Erik: Because you're a dork?

I tried reading Todd. I relaxed my head backwards, and sighed very deeply. I interpreted it to be the relaxed feeling you get after a good orgasm.

I tried reading Crystal, just for the hell of it. When I did her, I made two fists, squeezed very hard, and made an angry groaning noise. I could feel the angry energy emanating out of my throat chakra.

Then, I discovered something astounding: I could ask all sorts of questions!

I asked Adam if he had a crush on me. I had been worried he was only interested in sex. When I did so, I got a slightly different response. I giggled, a girly giggle. When I asked Chance the same question, I smiled and sighed deeply.

I asked Brandon's picture if he liked me. I breathed heavily, then laughed. I interpreted that to mean he was dodging the question. However, the answer was yes. But I didn't know. Some of these answers weren't clear enough.

Erik told me, through messenger, I cared too much what other people thought of me. Fuck yes, that was definitely true. The truth was, it was one of my biggest problems. I obsessed, and obsessed, and obsessed, over what other people thought of me. I was so sensitive to other people's criticism, which I didn't get much of, but when I did, it was too much for me to take. That's why this was a dream come true. Sure, not everyone said they liked me. But that was a good thing! Because if everyone said they liked me, I wouldn't have believed this. I would have thought the entire thing was fake. If it was all roses and lollipops, then forget it. It wouldn't be believable. However, I got just enough negative responses to keep me believing.

Rachel: Fuck yes I care too much what people think! But doesn't everyone?

Erik: No...

Rachel: Secretly they do.

Erik: No...

Rachel: I think so. If you don't, you're a sociopath.

Erik: There's a difference in being mindful of what other people think, versus worrying over it.

Rachel: If someone doesn't like you, no big deal. That's just one person. But if a lot of people, whose opinion you care about don't like you... that's a problem.

Erik: That's the thing. If you care about peoples' opinions who don't like you, you're wasting your time on negativity.

Rachel: Erik, I'm just reading.