I don't know how I was supposed to achieve any type of good Christian lifestyle, when the mission started Jesus had already moved on to another dimension and wasn't there. He wasn't there until 2016, when I was astounded, it was quite a moment, when I found out they lied. I didn't even know they lied. And how was I not supposed to trust the spirits or go along with them when they did something to transform the way my brain worked. When you can talk coherently without knowing what you are about to say, you are sane and have a "neural pathway" or "some sort of wire" in your brain.
And Beev, with all due love and respect, do not say I need counseling to create neural pathways. Keep Subbie's name and conditions out of your mouth but I can talk to you about it if you want dear mother of mine. I mean, Subbie. The experience is outstanding, and love of self is better than love of others, but it leaves you feeling empty when that's all you have just the same.
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