So, what are we going to do now? I asked my guides.
Wait! Wait! Alfred interjected. She needs to know something about me! We know a lot about you, but what do you know about me?
Okay, what do I need to know? I asked.
Well, one thing about me is, I have a speech impediment, Alfred told me.
A speech impediment? I said.
Yes, not trouble pronouncing words, dipshit. I say things I don't mean to say out loud, and it gets me in trouble. Like, I'll be thinking something, and accidentally say it out loud, and it is a problem. I get picked on a lot, mostly by bad souls. They do not hurt my feelings, but they are obnoxious. I get so sick of them, I spray venom in the form of words. So when a dipshit comes up and says, you have horrific eyebrows! I say, Fuck off! Fuck off! How do you like them apples, bitch?
Do you really say that?
No, but that's the Earth equivalent of what I say. It's not mean, it's funny. I'm not mean to them, usually. Just tell them to fuck the hell off, have a nice day. It is really obnoxious being on the other side, you get all sorts of bad souls, or even mediocre souls, and sometimes even your friends, telling you shit they don't like about you. All the time. It annoys the crap out of everyone. If we could all just learn to get along, it would be a lot easier.
Do they make fun of me? I asked.
Not usually, no. They know not to make fun of you, just kidding. There is enough to say about me they usually don't go there. When they talk about you, they usually say that you are a good soul but not as good as they say.
What do you mean, not as good as they say?
Oh, you didn't know? You knew. You are famous, betch. You are the most exquisite soul in the multiverse. They love you, everyone. Only bad souls don't like you, and it's because they wish they were you. I know, I'm jealous of you too.
Here, I want to show you something. Follow this cord, right here.
I located the cord he was holding, and followed it with my mind, to get the feeling associated with the cord. It was a feeling of longing.
See? This is because I am envious of you. Another one, here.
I followed the other cord. When I did so, I got a feeling of desire that I could not describe.
That's an interesting feeling, isn't it? It's not jealousy, not envy, not the desire to take apart, but... it's sexual desire in the spirit world. It's something beyond the human construct of the ego. Try, but you won't understand it, here on Earth. Try again. Here's another cord.
I followed the cord. When I got to the end, I got the feeling of the desire to annihilate.
Now, bear in mind, that's a weak cord. I do have that desire, because I'm mad at you. Not because you are virtuous, I'm virtuous too, but because you've done shit that pissed me off in the past. Here's another cord to follow.
I followed the cord. When I got to the end, I encountered an enticing feeling. The desire to control.
This is because I have dark, dark desires, my friend. The desire to control you is a sexual desire. That's it. No more cords. We are done.
What else do you think of me?
I love you, Sweetheart. I love you so much I don't know what I'd do without you. But I'm a dark soul, like you. We like dark things. So when it comes to sex, we like it when it is nonconsensual. Don't tell me that's not true. When you go over to chance's, I'm going to have a talk with him too. I'm going to tell him, you know, she needs sex a lot of times when she doesn't want it...
I thought, fat chance he would be willing to rape me just because Alfred said so, but I liked it. I liked this idea.
Another thing I'm going to tell him is, she needs sex when she wants it too! Because she's a horn dog just like you!
I smiled and laughed.
But hey, this may not ever happen. If he doesn't contact you, you can just be a waitress! On medication, with a guardianship, until the medication wears holes in your brain.
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