Where do you think you are going, Missy? Alfred asked me as I left the house to buy an energy drink.
I am going to get a drink, Sweetheart, I said. Alfred made fun of my actions in the form of a picture in my mind. Me going to the corner store, buying a drink, sitting down, and drinking with no friends around.
Don't you want to stay here with us? We are not going, Alfred said.
I am in need of a cool, refreshing beverage! I exclaimed, and let out a mad grunt.
Fine, we'll go. Reluctantly. He said.
On the way, he sang a song. What if log was one of us? And he showed a log drifting down a river.
What a dumbfuck, I thought.
Hey! Hey! That's horrible! Why don't you pick on someone your own size? I am way too tall for you! He showed a picture of him towering through the clouds.
How about you help me drive a car? I said.
You can't drive, nitwit, you are a psychic medium! The spirits contact you all the time!
I already knew this, but I was unhappy about it.
Why don't you help me raise money? I screamed.
We don't need no, fun and orgy... We don't need no, sex and hoes...
How about you bring me a sandwich? I screamed at the clouds.
Why don't you learn to speak clearly? Alfred smiled and made me a sandwich in my mind.
Instead of going to the Quickee Mart, I went to the gas station. At the gas station, I got a Pepsi Max. On the way back, I listened to the song Radioactive, by Imagine Dragons.
Let's toast to the new age, baby, Alfred said to me and held up a martini glass.
I toasted with my Pepsi bottle, and then drank down.
We walked, and swayed to the music, as Alfred enveloped me in beautiful ribbons and bows, as a present for the man I would give myself to: Adam.
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