Burn Like Jesus: Chapter 23

We went to the mall, and I walked around and looked at the pots. When we went to Hot Topic, there was a necklace with a little bee on it.

“Buy it.” said Alfred.

I did so, reluctantly. It became a cherished symbol of the two of us. When we went to the next store, a girl looked at me and scoffed. I stared her down and smiled, wanting to beat that bitch's ass, but did not.

I went home. At home, Alfred had an animation to show me.

This is us, walking to the store. He showed a picture of two extravagantly dressed young folk walking exuberantly. When we neared the store, the store exploded with gun fire. As we neared the other end of the walkway, a mad man came out carrying money bags.

This is where you would be if it wasn't for us. Not really, but that's what you think, huh?

I watched some more. He showed a picture of a girl from a movie, called Swim Fan. “You love me! I know it! I know it!” It was a movie with a creepy girl who stalks a guy. He used this one over and over again, until he wore it out.

What's up, little man? He showed a picture of a small person walking down a large staircase. As he nears the bottom, a ribbon cutting ceremony is taking place. As he steps over the ribbon, he gets his picture taken and he falls to the floor in a comical fashion. I laughed.

Time for a bath! Alfred screamed. Suds flew everywhere, as the windows and doors were overtaken by heavy bubble bath. I laughed.

One more, he said. Then it's time to listen to Nicki Minaj, Starships. He showed a picture of myself, walking down the stairs. When I neared the bottom, Nicki Minaj showed me how to tango with an alien.

I went downstairs and danced to the song Starships. When I was done, my dad told me to unload the dishwasher. I did so, reluctantly. Afterwards, I sat down with some coconut water.

My dad looked at me and scowled. “Where's your coaster?” he said with intense seriousness.

“I don't need a coaster this is cardboard!” I replied angrily.

“You little... You don't pay for the furniture, it is expensive! When you have bought your own furniture and ruined it due to lack of coaster using, you will thank me for my coaster advice! You can't tell what needs a coaster or not, it has to have a coaster! Why if I could tell you one piece of good advice to last you a lifetime, it would be always use a coaster!”

I scoffed, got up and left. “Monstrosity!” I said out loud.