Well? Alfred said to me. When will you understand, you are not my friend, you are my close companion?
I don't understand the question.
You need help from me, sweetie. Alfred said. We need help in the field of making fun of your friend Austin. He is a nitwit. He likes you, sure, but he also likes reefer. Do not understand why I say this, but... You are good enough for him!
Please, I don't like him in that way.
Sure you don't, but I understand things a little bit better than you do... I know how long it takes to strive for the top of the ladder, now don't I? You were not my girlfriend last year this time, another bitch was. Why do you ask? Why do you ask if you are my girlfriend or not?
I did not ask, I already know. I am.
Please, You are a good girl, but don't take this the wrong way... You are a little on the pudgy side, okay? There, I said it, phewww... He blew out some air and started playing Solitaire.
When will we understand what I am doing in the world? When do I know how to make an impression?
I can show you how to make an impression, girly whirl, I can show you that right now... He showed me himself wearing a thong and a bikini top. Then, he showed himself taking off the thong, taking off the bikini top, and dancing on stage, completely naked. Then, he showed himself walking around in public with a miniskirt and tank top, rolling a joint and smoking. That's how you make an impression.
I think that's a bad impression. I wanted to make a good impression.
You'll find that out, sooner or later, said Alfred. For now, we need to go to the store and buy watermelon! You need watermelon! It is good for your digestive tract! And he did a watermelon animation.
When we got back from the store, I wrote a facebook status about myself, and watched as no one liked it. Ever since I had gotten good at facebook, no one liked my statuses anymore. I did not wonder about this. I understood. I was too good. They were intimidated. People always liked my dumbfuck statuses, but not my really good statuses.
Alfred did an animation for me. A girl, watching herself in the mirror. Then, a hook comes out of the sky, and pulls her up to Mars, where she becomes ruler of her own tribe of Martians.
Lust after me, Sugar Plum. Lust after me, Alfred said to me.
Ever since the incident with the flowers, I hadn't stopped lusting. I continued to do it, for the shear pleasure of it. It was very satisfying, rolling on the bed in lust of Alfred. I wanted to do it all day long.
Lust, or your mind will become one with itself in a sincere and thoughtless fashion.
I rolled around the bed in lust of Alfred, for awhile. After awhile, he would tell me, okay, okay, I've had my fill! When I did this, I sent him sweet, sweet energy. When it got too intense, because of the anxiety in it, he wanted me to stop.
Sure, it created cords. I just had to keep removing them. They weren't as bad, after the first batch of cords. They affected my vision somewhat, but not as freakily as it was when we first started. We referred to this distorted emotional input from the objects as “wonk.” “Well, that's looking a bit wonky right there! Time to remove some cords!” And then I would breathe deeply, and remove the cord from my body.
They told me something else about these cords. They drain a force called transgressionary life force. This was a force that was absolutely vital to keeping someone alive. If I were to not remove the cords, and walk around with these cords attached, I would eventually keel over and die, with no discernible cause of death.
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