Seriously Funny

Wednesday was weird. That was the day that the teacher declared that I was the professor. After class I wrote a blog,  filled out an app to be a degree-seeking student at NIC, and then rode the bus home.

It was sometime around then that I started feeling seriously funny. It seems that seriously funny is an oxymoron, but that's how I felt. I wasn't manic. Or was I? I felt a higher energy.

Maybe it was just my hat giving me special powers. First it gave me super awesome professor powers, then it gave me the ability to beat Dan at chess. I don't really know how to define my chess-playing abilities, but I see myself as someone who's doesn't completely suck but isn't particularly good at it, at least for someone like me whose strength is logical thinking. But then again, I don't play enough to really know. Dan claims to be good, he's beaten me twice before, on Wednesday we played twice the first game was a stalemate and I beat him the second game. I'm not sure this chess incident is even significant, but I'm mentioning it anyway. At this point though, I was already feeling seriously funny, which I was quite vocal about. I took a klonopin, though I didn't particularly want one and I wasn't feeling anxious, I was actually feeling pretty freaking good. But I thought maybe if it was just chemical the klonopin would make it go away. It didn't really.

So I thought on this, this seriously funny feeling and what triggered it. It all came on very suddenly, not even over night. I realized it sort of started when the logic professor called me the professor. This wasn't a big deal, but I got the feeling of being recognized in a positive way. One thing I know is, sometimes when something big is going to happen, some big event that triggers a big feeling, when a smaller event happens that triggers a small but similar feeling it feels oddly significant. I've known this to be true from my own experience and other peoples'. I know someone who saw the Lion King as a kid and cried hysterically when Simba's dad Mufasa died. Her own dad died a few years later. Coincidence? No.

The way I feel about this seriously funny feeling, I think it's a feeling that things are going to change for me. Yes, I will move into my apartment and into aftercare, but that's only part of it. I think it might mean that I will be recognized in a small way, but in a much larger way than I was in class, of course. At least, in the near future it will be in a small way. But I didn't know how it was going to happen, so I thought maybe I needed to do something. I wasn't feeling a strong push, but maybe there was still some action necessary on my part. I thought maybe it's time to try to get published in a magazine.

So that's what I'm going to do.