Chapter 81
I'm so excited about the rest of my life right now, I am worried it is going to be over in an instant. It will pass me by. I have to keep reminding myself. It will. But, not in the way you are thinking. The night is still young. The night is still young. The night is still young.
What do you want to do now, Sugar Plum? Alfred asked me.
I think it's time to get up and make breakfast, I said.
I got up, walked downstairs, and roamed the kitchen. I made coffee. Preheated the oven and cooked up some fish patties.
I like how your habits in the kitchen are a product of your Adderall consumption, Robin Williams said.
I realized that he was right. I treated breakfast with a certain decadence, and I had a good time treating breakfast as the most extravagant meal of the day. It went back to my time as an Adderall junkie, when breakfast was the most extravagant meal of the day, because it was the only meal I'd actually eat. After I took the Adderall, and it took full effect, I was no longer hungry.
We think you need to wear some clothes and hitchhike to the store for some alcohol, my guides told me that day.
I don't think drinking is a good idea, I told my guides.
We think it's not either, we were joking. We think you need some help with your mindset. Always the drugs. Never the happiness.
Oh, shut up, I'm doing the best I can! I'm a recovering addict! Give me some credit! I screamed at my guides in a huff. I was angry.
Don't worry, Sugar Plum, Alfred said to me. We know where to find the adderall if it doesn't work out. In your mother's bloodstream if she knew what it felt like! We laughed, hard. My mom had never tried Adderall. If she tried it, her guides told me she would be an addict.
Where do we go to get the medication for today? I asked my guides.
To the store! The store! The store! Robin Williams said, and did a picture him with a cape and his hand above his eyes.
Well, let's go!
We walked to the store, bought an Rockstar, sat and sipped. As I sat, Robin told me it was interesting how my friends were all from other worlds. And then he told me that on facebook, people were mad at me and envied me because I had better statuses than they did.
I thought it was funny, and true. He made a lot of insightful comments. Except the one about the spirits being my friends. That one was just too damn obvious, so it was dumb. As I was feeling bad for him for making a dumb comment, Robin reminded me he was just pointing it out, not trying to make an earth shattering comment. I laughed at my own dumbfuckery.
I asked my guides what color blue was and was it the same to everyone? They said vaguely, but not exactly. It depended on the mind pockets, everyone had different perceptions of colors, but if you saw someone else's blue, you would be startled, because it didn't look exactly like your blue.
As I walked back, I asked a question I had been wondering about. What happens to the bukkake stars, the girls who eat loads and loads of semen, after they get home from a show? What do they do?
I laughed, as this was a funny, interesting question.
I tried to get the answer. Everytime I tried, I lost contact with my guides. I was losing contact with my guides! I wanted to know now!
By the time I got home, ate something and got back in contact with my guides, I didn't care anymore.
Later though, I was wondering the same question. I was out for a walk, losing contact with my guides again.
“Hi, we're your guides. We'll tell you what happens. The woman comes home, eats something, then, goes into the bathroom and looks at herself in the mirror.... And she grows and flourishes in a spiritual fashion!”
Woah, really! That's awesome! Maybe more women should do that!
“That wasn't your guides, that was some joking spirit,” some other spirit told me. When I got home, I asked again. They told me, well, the woman comes home, eats something, maybe goes to a movie, usually too down in the dumps to hang out with friends... Just normal, usual stuff. We don't watch these putrid women. They usually are into that kind of thing, but some aren't... We seriously wonder about those women, my guides told me. I thought the random joking spirit had a much better theory than my guides regarding these matters.
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