Burn Like Jesus: 71 & 72 (slumber was scarce)

Chapter 71

Okay, so, you need to drink some stuff from the cupboard, my guides told me. This is an important time.

You are about to make a difference in the world, Brittany Murphy said.

I went to the pantry, and did as the directed. I drank some vinegar, and some other sauces in there, then drank some worcestire sauce from the fridge. After I did so, I felt much better. I went to bed, and lay down. In the middle of the night, I was up. My mom got up, and went into my room. She was tugging on the blanket. There was something odd about the way she tugged on the blanket, I couldn't put my finger on why that was odd. She was trying to tidy up a bit... It was like... She wanted me to be comfortable. There was something subconscious about it that I could not put my finger on consciously, there was something indicating I had some sort of power over her.

In the morning, when I got up, I figured out what was going on. When I touched her, I knew the exact way to touch her face or her hair to get her to be happy. I could manipulate her easily, very easily, just by touching her face with my hands.

My guides told me I had attached a cord to her, and she had accepted. It was a cord to make her easy to manipulate.

I sat in the computer room, and talked to myself.

“When a girl eats bacon, she suffocates on the rinds of putrid neglect of the self. We are all like that girl, eating bacon, except we do not need to remove ourselves from the situation to see what is going on. When two women eat bacon, they remove women from the picture of inequality, and create a world of suffocation for all. When we eat bacon, it is hard to understand what goes on in the mind, for it is too worldly of a food to neglect to eat often enough. When we eat bacon together, we remove ourselves from the bacon mold, and bacon ourselves together in a threshold of reluctance to comply with society's norm. Do you eat bacon? I do. I do!! When women watch their weight, it is hard to understand where the weight goes, it goes down, but where does it go? Out the window? Down the toilet? I think it evaporates. When three women watch their weight, we all know what happens to us. We desire something which we cannot attain, and that is the biggest folly of man. Why watch your weight when you can eat bacon? It's easy to understand how badly we love food, but not how much we desire to be thin. When two women eat bacon separately, it makes way for bodily shame and feelings of self-loathing, however large or small they may be. Do you think I need to tell you how badly it hurts me, conscious mind, when you tell me you want to eat bacon but I tell you you cannot? It hurts me ever so badly, but I know what's best, and that's that. When women of all different ethnicities eat bacon, it is hard to believe that they don't know how much it hurts themselves, but they do it anyway. Why? Why don't they fight the power? Why don't they face inequality head on? It is hard to understand why women of different ethnicities don't fight back and remove bacon from their lives, because bacon equals death threats and turmoil, but not as badly as tequila. Why do women drink tequila? Some would say, because it is easy to stop the pain of the wandering womb, but then again, who looks to those things for significance? When I eat bacon, I don't drink tequila. It is hard to understand why tequila drinking is good for you, but we know it is not. So there you go, there you have it. In a nutshell why I hate bacon and tequila for dinner.

“Well, well, well. Where did the time go? It's time for dinner! I need fuel, stat, but first we are going to discuss myself and Alfred. We decided a long time ago, we would write the literature on the soul/silia relationship. Why does the silia always need the soul? The soul needs the silia, no, it does not, but it wants the silia, because the silia provides what is best for the soul. Why does the soul do things to the silia that are not good for the silia? Because it knows what's best for the silia sometimes, but more, because it likes to keep it on its toes. Another reason the silia is so happy is because it pleases the silia to please the soul, so the silia is always happy. When the soul is happy, the silia is happy. When the silia is unhappy, the soul can be happy if he chooses. Another thing about the soul/silia relationship is, how does the silia know what the soul needs, and why does it always please the soul? Not because it wants to, it is a hardwired need. Another thing about the soul is, it thinks it knows the silia, but it does not. The silia is unruly, and needs to be kept in line by the soul. When the soul does not keep the silia in line, the soul loses the ability to perform its everyday functions, and it becomes one with the souls who do not love other souls, but otherwise, the soul is perfectly happy when the silia keeps him happy. When the silia is unruly, the soul knows how to keep the silia in check, and punishment is often necessary. For if the silia were to go free, the silia would take charge and be the one on top, all the time, and the soul would be the bitch. But the soul cannot allow that, for it is the natural order of things for the soul to be on top, and the soul needs to be on top because of its standing in the world. Another thing about the soul/silia relationship is, it is easy to understand why the women do not want to be the silia, but have to be, because the silia is the position worthy of those who cannot make friends with souls of a superior race, but not because of their standing, because of their womanhood. For the silia is the woman, and the soul is the man.”

What if the silia does not fulfill its duties? Alfred asked, slyly.

“The silia has a hardwired need to fulfill the the soul's desires, if it is not met, the silia will do everything it can to fulfill the soul's desires. If the silia fails to do this, the soul also forgives the silia, for it is okay. That's it.”

That's not what I wrote down, bitch! Alfred screamed.

“No, but I thought this was more fitting. I understand you think the soul/silia relationship is about sex and pleasure, but it is also about caring and understanding. If the soul forgives the silia for not making him happy at all times, it is okay for the silia to forgive the soul for loving someone else at the same time.”

What if the silia does not desire the soul any longer?

“The soul would wither, Alfred. The soul would wither. The silia always desires the soul, it's easy to understand why the soul loves the silia, harder to understand why the silia loves the soul. The soul is hard to find out in the spiritual realm, and it takes a pretty tough cookie to crack the ways of the soul, but an even tougher cookie to crack the ways of the silia. If the silia desires something other than affection, the soul does not provide it, the silia must find it on her own. If the silia does not find what she is looking for, she is allowed one more item in her bag of tricks: a fornicator's license. The silia is not allowed sexual relations with anyone that the soul does not approve of, but the soul is allowed sexual relations with whomever. If the soul does not desire the silia anymore, the silia's duties are relinquished, and they part ways. If that were to happen, we would say, 'goodbye, Pussycat Brawl!' and we would remove our one thing that happens with the soul/silia relationship that is easy to remove, the habits of the silia intertwined with the habits of the soul.”

Hey, now! That's never going to happen! I'm never going to have my fill of you, Beeb! Alfred said enthusiastically.

“When the silia endures hardship, it is easy to understand why the soul does its duty to prevent the silia from enduring more than its fair share. When the soul loves another soul, it does not use its mind, rather, its body, for the heart of the soul belongs only to the silia. When the silia gets unruly, it is the soul's job to keep it in line, with constant supervision and sexual discipline, without the use of force or vile acts of reproach. Another thing about the soul/silia relationship is, it's hard to believe that the soul would fall for something so petty as the silia, but the soul knows why, and only the soul knows why. Another thing about the soul/silia relationship is the belief that one of them is greater than the other... Neither of them is more than the other, but the soul is awesome in a way the silia is not, however, the silia has its own powers. Another thing about the soul/silia relationship is the belief that one of them is not better, but they are equal. When you think of it that way, does this relationship work? Nope, it does not. That's why the soul is always superior to the silia, very much so, and the silia believes the soul to be the best thing in the world, not the universe, the world, because it's not all that great, but it is great. When the soul is made fun of by another soul, the silia will butt out. This is not something for the silia's involvement. If the silia finds itself to be detrimentalized by another soul, we will understand where the peach desires to be shown off at, the soul puts the silia on display for other worthy souls to destroy at the soul's own pleasure... The silia enjoys it a lot of it the soul is very stern with the silia, for the silia deserves severity when severity is due. If the silia is not getting what it needs, it does not have the right to leave, ever... Never, never, never... It must voice its concerns, and if the soul finds it fitting, he will make compensations. When the soul is ready for sex, the silia is always ready, and has been for awhile. The soul desires what it desires, and it knows what is best for the silia at all times... When the silia does not eat food for three hours, the soul makes sure she eats a good, hearty meal. When the silia does not get sex for three hours, the soul makes sure the silia gets plenty. The soul does what it can to ensure the silia is having a good time, not because the silia wants to have a good time, in fact, the silia would rather not have a good time. But the soul insists upon it, and makes sure the silia is having a fun time everytime they have sex. If the soul desires other people to be part of the sex situation, it is at the soul's discrepency, not the silia's. If the silia does not desire sex with one of the people the soul had decided can have sex with the silia, the silia's voice is not heard. The soul knows what's best for the silia, and the soul always gets his way. The silia never gets her way. If there is an argument, the soul is always right. Period. End of story.”

Well, that's the literature, for you, we'll add to it later, Alfred said happily.

Chapter 72

Okay, so what do we do now? I asked my guides.

You need something to drink, like water or milk, or coconut water, my guides said.

I went to the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of coconut water, and started chugging. As I sat in a chair, a funny woven hat appeared on my head. My guides said it was a hat of integrity, and it is worn by those who believe in the power of the Holy Ghost. Another thing about it was, it made the world appear more in depth and beautiful. As I got up, I snapped my fingers in a succession, as to create a positive vibe in this room. In the kitchen, I removed a piece of paper from a counter top, folded it in half, and stuck it on my head. I walked around, and looked around, pretending to oversee an emotional event.

I took it off and threw it in the trash can, without warning, it popped out of the can and removed it's powers from my life. I watched as it billowed around and made worthy the island, the counters, the refrigerator. Then, when it stopped again, it was back in the trash can.

Excellent, I said. We needed to clear away that emotional energy, from all the times I did things in this kitchen.

My guides spoke to me. How about a snack? You haven't eaten in hours!

Okay, how about some... hummus! I got out the hummus and started eating, not enjoying the food, eating for nourishment.

Okay, time to recreate a scene from my mind. Let's use this paper right here, but it in a water bottle, and move it around the house. When we are done, we will have created good vibrations for the rest of the house. I started to do it, when Alfred stopped me.

That's not how it works, Sugar Plum, Alfred said.

It does work that way though, I think. Anywho, time to take out the wastebasket to the curb, and remove myself from this situation.

That's not it either, Sugar Plum.

Okay, then, why don't we remove the house of it's bad vibes?

Good going!

I got out my incense and started incensing the entire house. When we were done, the house felt a lot better.

Okay, what now? Alfred asked me.

We are going to remove this picture from the fridge. It is an awful, awful picture of the four of us. I removed a picture, and my guides said do not throw it out, leave it somewhere your parents will not find it and replace it.

Okay, now what, Sugar Plum? Alfred asked me.

We are going to ask for some guidance from a higher power, like the other side or something! I said, and went to talk to someone other than someone I had already talked to.

I talked to the spirits of intelligence, and they told me that I was needing to refuel my bloodstream before I became part of the intelligence guidance place again.

I sighed. Okay, time to eat again! I went over to the kitchen, got an apple, and started eating.

Okay, what now, Sugar Plum?

Let's talk to the intelligence spirits again!

The spirits told me that I was not doing as well as I could be in the motivation department, if I got out of the house and went places, like to the bank, and withdrew lots of money, I could make a fortune being rich on that money.

That was sound advice, Sugar Plum, Alfred said.

Let's talk to them some more! I suggested.

The intelligence spirits removed the ideas in my mind that prevented me from succeeded in the business realm, and created a sense of serenity when it came to making due with what I had at the given moment.

I walked around the house, juggling invisible prescription pill bottles.

“If the medication has side effects you don't want, just take this medication to make the side effects go away!” I screamed.

Well, well, well, my guides said to me. We need you to lose about 15 pounds in the next moment or so, to make your parents think you are anorexic, so they will stop worrying that they were wrong about something they were so sure about.

“What is this here? I said. A presciption for klonopin? Why, no, I don't have anxiety, but I have Adderall dark spots! Does that count? Does that count as anxiety? Maybe we should go on something else to enhance the dark spots, than on something else to cover them up!” I screamed.

Well, well, well, my guides said. Do you need a bottle of vodka? That would perk you right up for the presciption dose of lithium! What is this? Your idea of friendship with a ghost? Please, you need help with your ghostly issues of withered womanhood! Pretend! Pretend you are one of those women who demand equality! Pretend! Pretend you care about the fact that women make different pay for different jobs! Pretend! Pretend! Pretend!

“What is this, right here? A wonderful bottle of Adderall? Oh boy! Oh boy! Time to sit around and think repetitive, useless thoughts until my brain falls out of my skull! Oh boy!”

What do you have there, sweetie? Alfred crooned. A bottle of penis enlargers? We know what that means... You enjoy large dicks!

He was referring to the fact that I entice men of large penises, with my vulgarity.

What is this, here? Alfred sang. A vibrator? You have a vibrator? Oh no! They're going to know you masturbate! They're going to know you like to enjoy orgasms when you have no sexual partners! AHHHH!!!

“Well, well, well. What is this here? A bottle of body lotion? Well, well, well. Do you want your massage in here, or in the other room? I think it is better if we both take off our clothing, so we can become aroused by the other one's bodily smells!”

Well, well, well. What is this, a masseuse license? You need a license to be a masseuse? Well, well, well. Let's smoke some dope and see if it helps our body's cravings for inhalants!

“Why are you ready for the show? I enjoy your show, Erik, but I hate the fact that your dad always spouts conservative Republican propaganda about fire arms and Republican fornicator pretend Vicodin use habits!”

We watched my parents argue about the costs of living, and then, it was time for an energy drink. We walked to the store, and bought one. As I sat at the store, I looked at a poster with a woman with her eyes opened really wide. This poster seemed to stimulate something deep within me. It was part of my awakening.

As I was sitting on the bench, I got called out to by the pope. He told me, “Well, well, well. We know who made it out of the castle without a scratch, huh? Watch out, you will need help with your channeling... I will help you. When you are done channeling, you can come over and have a beer with me and my pals in Vatican city. Afterwards, we will live it up on the town, and pick a few fights with strange men. When we are done with that, you will tell me how to rule the world with that awesome necklace you put on.”

We walked back. On the way home, I saw a car filled with young women. They cheered. I cheered louder, in my head, and my guides cheered with me. This was what I had been doing all along, I talked loudly about on the way home. Starting a riot.