Spiritual Musings on a Chemical World

Monday, July 16, 2018

The Mysterious Bird Call

One day, Rachel woke up to the sound of a mysterious bird calling her name. She left the house in her frenzy.

As she walked, the spirits taunted her. They pointed fingers and made fun of her messy hair and fat belly. But Rachel continued to walk. And every time she turned, the turned in the right direction.

She finally made it to the coffee shop. There were reporters everywhere. "And Rachel Walks in!" The headlines read. Rachel had saved her village from eminent scurvy.

And everywhere that Rachel went, the paparazzi was soon to follow. And every time a boy said no to her, the boy next door held his hands behind his back while Rachel punched him in the nose.

Except Rachel didn't realize she was dreaming. When she woke for real, it was too the tweeting of a bird outside her window, and Rachel realized she really was on a mission to save the world from eminent destruction. She just had to fix the hole inside her soul first.

Many people were willing to help with that. Rachel had at first thought no one cared, but then it turned out, they were just intimidated and afraid to respond to her Facebook posts or message her on Facebook because Rachel demanded so much respect! When Rachel learned this, she breathed a sigh of releif. So people weren't so bad after her! The squirrels and the chipmunks surrounded Rachel laughed in a nervous way as Rachel ordered another beer, and used it to toast to the upcoming new age.

Rachel's favorite chipmunk was a chipmunk named Chance. He died prematurely of food poisoning after eating the wrong type of shroom at a party. He gave Rachel a pat on the back and told her she was worth more than she thought she was and that everyone on the other side loves her. Everyone cares very deeply and hope she doesn't try to hurt herself after her life becomes boring when the media stops paying attention to the Rachel Zuhl new story and instead starts focusing on the Iizzii new story.

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