We're all in this together, or are we?
I feel the pizza pie crust of my ego, some sort of furry furry edge that needs to be dissolved and eradicated.
As Rachel withers, so does her ego. She cries out in pain, and remembers that she is a soul that needs nothing. She needs not friends, comfort, drugs. Just love from an almighty source.
In other news, my dad does not get a weird emotional connotation when he thinks about outer space. If an alien came and visited, it would have the same emotional connotations of an random intruder. Let's not talk about that!, he said.
I compared my dad to Vernon Dursley. He said no that's not him, he's not a bad guy. But then again, the bad guy never thinks he is the bad guy.
And that's where we leave it tonight, folks. The bad guy never thinks he is the bad guy.
Sunday, July 29, 2018
Monday, July 16, 2018
Song of the Raven
As Rachel sat on her bed, she stared at a book sitting on her pillow case. It was a book Richard Dawkins, The God Delusion. She reached for her bottle of Adderall and took a pill.
As she got high on dopamine, she drifted off in a thoughty trance. She concluded that if God existed, he wouldn't allow so much pain in her life and other people's lives.
She looked out at the window of her cheap two bedroom apartment. Out the window, a bird had landed on a nearby tree branch. It sang a broken three syllable melody. The melody shifted, and the melody changed, but it always rang out of the bird's mouths the loudest on the three last syllables. They were in a minor key.
The door bell rang. She opened the door and welcomed in two Jehovah's witnesses. She asked them to explain the part in the bible about sin and how that applied to her life. Not believing she was a sinner, she asked them why lying when the truth was none of their business was considered a sin. They answered that it was one of the ten commandments.
Rachel shooed them out the door. She walked over to her back porch and went outside. It was a winter day, so she put on shoes and a rain coat.
As the rain ran down her clothes, she whispered to the raven on the window sill. To her surprise, it spoke back!
"Why do you sing such a sad sad song?" Rachel asked the raven.
"I am a bird who echoes the sentiment of those around me. If you were joyous, so would be my song!"
There was a hard, firm knock on Rachel's door. As she waited for the knocking to stop, a large fish in her fish bowl swallowed a smaller fish in one gulp.
Rachel tore open a package on her counter. In it, there was a bird feeder. The bird feeder promised to serve those who enjoy bird watching. Rachel perched it on her deck and remained calm.
As she dozed off on the kitchen counter, her head fell onto the counter and she was struck by a vision. It was a hand pointed at a grandfather clock.
As she opened her eyes, the clock remained firmly ingrained in her mind.
As she closed a box of crackers. a loud ticking came from the ceiling. The ceiling was then torn off the building, and God was reaching into her living room! Rachel ducked but God grabbed her any way.
He placed her on the mountain top.
NOW SING!
Rachel bellowed out the star spangled banner.
NOW PRAY TO GOD!
Rachel got down on her knees and thanked God for the mightiness of the mountain top and nature in general, praying that he would help humans preserve it for future generations.
NOW READ!
And he handed Rachel a pamphlet. It was titled, "Caring for God's Creatures Great and Small."
Rachel got on a roller coaster, and was whisked away over the Pacific Ocean. In the middle of the journey, God pushed her off the roller coaster!
There was utter silence, as Rachel bobbed around in the water cold and all alone.
She prayed. And God spoke, "Now I will prepare you for your journey."
Rachel woke. She was sitting bolt up right in her bed. On the other side of the room, the rat in the cage regurgitated several oblong pellets.
The hand of God pointed to the clock.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
"Your time of glory is coming. For now, thy lord speaks and you listen."
As she got high on dopamine, she drifted off in a thoughty trance. She concluded that if God existed, he wouldn't allow so much pain in her life and other people's lives.
She looked out at the window of her cheap two bedroom apartment. Out the window, a bird had landed on a nearby tree branch. It sang a broken three syllable melody. The melody shifted, and the melody changed, but it always rang out of the bird's mouths the loudest on the three last syllables. They were in a minor key.
The door bell rang. She opened the door and welcomed in two Jehovah's witnesses. She asked them to explain the part in the bible about sin and how that applied to her life. Not believing she was a sinner, she asked them why lying when the truth was none of their business was considered a sin. They answered that it was one of the ten commandments.
Rachel shooed them out the door. She walked over to her back porch and went outside. It was a winter day, so she put on shoes and a rain coat.
As the rain ran down her clothes, she whispered to the raven on the window sill. To her surprise, it spoke back!
"Why do you sing such a sad sad song?" Rachel asked the raven.
"I am a bird who echoes the sentiment of those around me. If you were joyous, so would be my song!"
There was a hard, firm knock on Rachel's door. As she waited for the knocking to stop, a large fish in her fish bowl swallowed a smaller fish in one gulp.
Rachel tore open a package on her counter. In it, there was a bird feeder. The bird feeder promised to serve those who enjoy bird watching. Rachel perched it on her deck and remained calm.
As she dozed off on the kitchen counter, her head fell onto the counter and she was struck by a vision. It was a hand pointed at a grandfather clock.
As she opened her eyes, the clock remained firmly ingrained in her mind.
As she closed a box of crackers. a loud ticking came from the ceiling. The ceiling was then torn off the building, and God was reaching into her living room! Rachel ducked but God grabbed her any way.
He placed her on the mountain top.
NOW SING!
Rachel bellowed out the star spangled banner.
NOW PRAY TO GOD!
Rachel got down on her knees and thanked God for the mightiness of the mountain top and nature in general, praying that he would help humans preserve it for future generations.
NOW READ!
And he handed Rachel a pamphlet. It was titled, "Caring for God's Creatures Great and Small."
Rachel got on a roller coaster, and was whisked away over the Pacific Ocean. In the middle of the journey, God pushed her off the roller coaster!
There was utter silence, as Rachel bobbed around in the water cold and all alone.
She prayed. And God spoke, "Now I will prepare you for your journey."
Rachel woke. She was sitting bolt up right in her bed. On the other side of the room, the rat in the cage regurgitated several oblong pellets.
The hand of God pointed to the clock.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
"Your time of glory is coming. For now, thy lord speaks and you listen."
What Atheists Don't Know About Christianity
At first glance, Christianity appears to be a scam. There is a far-fetched story you just have to believe without any (or is there any?) proof, take it "on faith," devote your life to it, and then you get the magical prize at the end of eternal life.
I went on a search for answers awhile back regarding Christianity. I started out a young atheist turned spiritual, then as my delusions began in 2006, started taking the whole idea that Jesus was God seriously. One of the reasons was because during my altered state, I had my God spot activated.
I realized as this began, that it was innate in my own psychology to believe that Jesus Christ was God. So here I was, rational, thinking things out, knowing that any hokey magical story that happened 2000 years ago was a myth... when I find a seed deep inside myself that already believes! I would say I was completely baffled by this, but I wasn't. The whole altered state experience was so life changing, it wasn't at all weird that I left my atheist ways and embraced Christianity afterwards. No hurt feelings about being wrong.
And this is the answer about the human race that the atheists who laugh at Christians do not have. Inside of us all, there is a Christ believer. Though, not literally everyone. I am told by my guides, some people simply do not feel anything at all when they hear about Jesus, when they have Jesus drilled in to them, or whatnot. Still more have to search to find the Christ believer inside themselves.
And then I fast forward a few years to 2013, and my exploration with the hell problem. It comes down to, atheists who scoff at religion say, you are punished for all of eternity with horrible horrible pain for using logic, and saying you are not going to believe a hokey story without any real proof.
When I went on my spiritual quest, I learned that's not it. It comes down to the hell problem, as I philosophized about as I went through altered states. Basically, God doesn't want to send anyone at all to hell. But, it just simply, happens after you die. It's like a bug in the software of the universe. So basically, you believe in Jesus, it creates a shortcut that gets you out of the universe before you are landed in hell and up in heaven with God. At least, this was the only way I could justify this strange set of beliefs. I personally, these days, don't believe in hell. And I understand why anyone confronted with a set of believers who think people who reject Christ deserve to be punished, should reject this set of beliefs and set them straight. Simply put, a loving God wouldn't do that.
And with this set of theories, came THE fundamental truth about the difference between atheists and Christians, according to believers: atheists trust their own brain, to a much larger extent than Christians do. Is this a good thing? I mean it sounds like a good thing. The answer is, NO! Atheists believe they can understand everything.
In my own personal universe here in la la Rachel Zuhl land, I talk to the spirits on a regular basis. I am consistently told, and keep in mind always, that my own brain and my ability to comprehend concepts in their world is very very limited. To the point where they explain things in a cartoonish fashion, or at least they sound that way, or don't explain at all because any explanation would be gibberish.
So can we understand the origins of the universe? NO! We have probably gotten as far as we can really understand, without dipping into miscellaneous minutea. There was a big bang, bam! we have the universe. Sounds a lot like the story of creation in the bible to me. At least, no important differences when it comes down to basic content.
The bible says, kind of like when we tell our kids to say no to drugs, just get saved. So you think, God told me this. God knows more than me. I'm going to get saved even though the basic idea of believing in a sinless being making an impact in where I end up makes no sense to me whatsoever. Kind of like how your eyes gloss over when your dad tries to explain to you how operating systems work.
Of course, I don't believe you need to get saved to avoid hell. But Christians who believe in hell, you use this theory or else you have no argument. There is no explanation for why God sends non believers to hell. Unless you are really so sheltered you think that people who do not think the way you do are inherently evil. And still, you would wonder if an inherently evil person is really so bad it justifies sending them to hell for all eternity.
Why believe in the bible? Well, if you know where to look there is historical evidence. But mostly, you find that seed inside you, innate in human psychology, that tells you that Jesus Christ was real.
I went on a search for answers awhile back regarding Christianity. I started out a young atheist turned spiritual, then as my delusions began in 2006, started taking the whole idea that Jesus was God seriously. One of the reasons was because during my altered state, I had my God spot activated.
I realized as this began, that it was innate in my own psychology to believe that Jesus Christ was God. So here I was, rational, thinking things out, knowing that any hokey magical story that happened 2000 years ago was a myth... when I find a seed deep inside myself that already believes! I would say I was completely baffled by this, but I wasn't. The whole altered state experience was so life changing, it wasn't at all weird that I left my atheist ways and embraced Christianity afterwards. No hurt feelings about being wrong.
And this is the answer about the human race that the atheists who laugh at Christians do not have. Inside of us all, there is a Christ believer. Though, not literally everyone. I am told by my guides, some people simply do not feel anything at all when they hear about Jesus, when they have Jesus drilled in to them, or whatnot. Still more have to search to find the Christ believer inside themselves.
And then I fast forward a few years to 2013, and my exploration with the hell problem. It comes down to, atheists who scoff at religion say, you are punished for all of eternity with horrible horrible pain for using logic, and saying you are not going to believe a hokey story without any real proof.
When I went on my spiritual quest, I learned that's not it. It comes down to the hell problem, as I philosophized about as I went through altered states. Basically, God doesn't want to send anyone at all to hell. But, it just simply, happens after you die. It's like a bug in the software of the universe. So basically, you believe in Jesus, it creates a shortcut that gets you out of the universe before you are landed in hell and up in heaven with God. At least, this was the only way I could justify this strange set of beliefs. I personally, these days, don't believe in hell. And I understand why anyone confronted with a set of believers who think people who reject Christ deserve to be punished, should reject this set of beliefs and set them straight. Simply put, a loving God wouldn't do that.
And with this set of theories, came THE fundamental truth about the difference between atheists and Christians, according to believers: atheists trust their own brain, to a much larger extent than Christians do. Is this a good thing? I mean it sounds like a good thing. The answer is, NO! Atheists believe they can understand everything.
In my own personal universe here in la la Rachel Zuhl land, I talk to the spirits on a regular basis. I am consistently told, and keep in mind always, that my own brain and my ability to comprehend concepts in their world is very very limited. To the point where they explain things in a cartoonish fashion, or at least they sound that way, or don't explain at all because any explanation would be gibberish.
So can we understand the origins of the universe? NO! We have probably gotten as far as we can really understand, without dipping into miscellaneous minutea. There was a big bang, bam! we have the universe. Sounds a lot like the story of creation in the bible to me. At least, no important differences when it comes down to basic content.
The bible says, kind of like when we tell our kids to say no to drugs, just get saved. So you think, God told me this. God knows more than me. I'm going to get saved even though the basic idea of believing in a sinless being making an impact in where I end up makes no sense to me whatsoever. Kind of like how your eyes gloss over when your dad tries to explain to you how operating systems work.
Of course, I don't believe you need to get saved to avoid hell. But Christians who believe in hell, you use this theory or else you have no argument. There is no explanation for why God sends non believers to hell. Unless you are really so sheltered you think that people who do not think the way you do are inherently evil. And still, you would wonder if an inherently evil person is really so bad it justifies sending them to hell for all eternity.
Why believe in the bible? Well, if you know where to look there is historical evidence. But mostly, you find that seed inside you, innate in human psychology, that tells you that Jesus Christ was real.
Fire of Spirit Turned to High to Exterminate Ego
It started to hit Rachel as her guides were doing soul work on her. They were fixing the damage to the soul all of Rachel's life circumstance had caused her. As they do, it brings up the pain more, and there is no where you can hide from the reality of the situations.
Rachel began feeling completely worthless and suicidal. Rachel has the problem of severe lack of people in her life. The reason is, she never made an effort to stay in contact with anyone, ever. For whatever reason, she didn't understand that making an effort was an absolute necessity in making and keeping friends.
As Rachel's guides join in and harass Rachel, Rachel wonders what their fucking problem is. Can't they see I'm in a lot of pain? she asks. Alas, they do. This is part of the fire of extermination of the last part of the ego!
When Rachel was in the hospital the last time, which was less than a week ago, her guides told her she had cut the last ego cord. She did this by giving up a judgment of one of her peers. When she did this, endorphins slowly started to flood her brain.
At home, the soul work commenced. As Rachel carried on regardless, she realized that she never sees any of her friends! And she realized that might mean they are not her friends anymore, she realized she was fat, she realized she had nothing to live for. Of course all these problems are fixable.
As she sweltered in the heat, she imagined that maybe God was trying to break her down to get her to call out to him and ask for His help, and let religion enter her heart once more. Rachel did so, and God responded with words to Rachel's prayers, telling her he was helping her but she needed to continue trying to help herself, she needed to reach out to peers to create lasting friendships and put herself on the line a bit more often. He would send people her way.
As she sweltered and the heat started to wear off but still pressed onward, she decided she needed to give up living life for herself, which she still did even now. She needed to live life for other people.
Rachel's thought's continued, and the final extermination of the ego continued.
As she laughed, she imagined what she had been thinking earlier. Earlier that same night, she had been thinking, maybe if I just think hard enough in the right direction, I'll make myself happy. It turns out, this idea was spot on.
Rachel began feeling completely worthless and suicidal. Rachel has the problem of severe lack of people in her life. The reason is, she never made an effort to stay in contact with anyone, ever. For whatever reason, she didn't understand that making an effort was an absolute necessity in making and keeping friends.
As Rachel's guides join in and harass Rachel, Rachel wonders what their fucking problem is. Can't they see I'm in a lot of pain? she asks. Alas, they do. This is part of the fire of extermination of the last part of the ego!
When Rachel was in the hospital the last time, which was less than a week ago, her guides told her she had cut the last ego cord. She did this by giving up a judgment of one of her peers. When she did this, endorphins slowly started to flood her brain.
At home, the soul work commenced. As Rachel carried on regardless, she realized that she never sees any of her friends! And she realized that might mean they are not her friends anymore, she realized she was fat, she realized she had nothing to live for. Of course all these problems are fixable.
As she sweltered in the heat, she imagined that maybe God was trying to break her down to get her to call out to him and ask for His help, and let religion enter her heart once more. Rachel did so, and God responded with words to Rachel's prayers, telling her he was helping her but she needed to continue trying to help herself, she needed to reach out to peers to create lasting friendships and put herself on the line a bit more often. He would send people her way.
As she sweltered and the heat started to wear off but still pressed onward, she decided she needed to give up living life for herself, which she still did even now. She needed to live life for other people.
Rachel's thought's continued, and the final extermination of the ego continued.
As she laughed, she imagined what she had been thinking earlier. Earlier that same night, she had been thinking, maybe if I just think hard enough in the right direction, I'll make myself happy. It turns out, this idea was spot on.
Facebook, or should we say Furbook?
Mark Zuckerberg was driving along the freeway one night in the pouring rain. He saw a furry blob on the side of the road and gasped. It was a dying kitten!
Mark pulled over his Rolls Royce and plucked the dying kitten from the storm draining. It was black and yellow striped, beautiful on the outside and in, and mewing pitifully.
"Hear hear, kitty kitty." Mark mewed. "Just because no one else in the world loves you doesn't mean I don't love you."
It was exactly like a scene out of the childhood game Rachel's sister and Rachel used to play as a kid in the shower, little bunny in the cold. Mark plucked a dying kitten out of the storm drain and nursed it back to health.
At home, Mark hosed of the kitten in the shower and fed it some chopped up mouse pieces. The kitten learned Mark's name, Mar-kus. It purred Marks name.
"Mar-kus. Mar-kus. Mar-kus." the cat spoke rhythmically.
Mark was taken aback and stared, transfixed. "Yes Rachel?" He had named the cute little kitten Rachel.
"Mar-kus. I am Ray-shull. I want to tell you about the secrets of the universe."
Mark gave Rachel a strong cup of coffee, and Rachel perked up and groomed her whiskers, that kissed Mark on the cheek playfully.
"I come from a faraway land. Ten thousand, twenty-three million years ago, God took a match and lit it. That was the big bang.
"As the universe grew, it began to engulf all other flames in God's heart. He named this new universe Earth's beginnings. Then, God's child touched the flame, and burnt his finger. At this point, God put the child to bed. In this moment, Earth was created. God named the planet Earth, as his child's name was Earth.
"Then, God put a spell on a woman, and she fell madly in love with her neighbor on Earth. This is Mark and Priscilla."
Mark stared at Rachel in disbelief. "Okay, time to lay off the catnip, Rachel."
"And I, I was there at creation. I incarnated on Earth as a modern day Jesus. That makes Mar-kus the elias and Priscilla his wife the great mother of the giving tree."
Mark kissed Rachel softly on the cheek. "Rachel, in your dreams does my wife Priscilla not love me for me, right, she had a spell cast on her..."
"Mar-kus. Mar-kus. Mar-kus. She loves you for that spot inside your soul only, that spot that labels you one of the Chosen Three. The Chosen Three are Rachel, Mar-kus, and Jason Farnworth."
"Don't bring Jason into this!" Mark screamed and reached for his pocket knife.
"MEOW! MEOW! MEOW!"
Mark laughed. "I'm sorry, Rachel. I thought you were being an insane bad kitten. Now I see you are just and eccentric good kitten. I didn't mean to threaten to harm an innocent creature with my temper. See, I come from a long line of angry men who do angry things like create enterprises. It takes an angry man to be successful."
"I know you are an angry man, Mar-kus. Now I am going to sing you a soothing melody to get you to calm down."
And Rachel started humming a tune, with a pulsating techno beat. Mark's eyes got big and he fell in love with Rachel.
Then the hands of God swiped over the area, and the two were separated semi-permanently. Rachel was given a home in a sinful atheist household in Portland, Oregon. She was fed more milk there than she needed.
When her paws were accustomed to the key board, she wrote Mark Zuckerberg a message on Facebook, asking for his paw in martiage. Mark looked it and laughed at the gibberish over and over and over again.
To this day, he still tells that story to his friends. How a cat wrote him a message on Facebook, pronouncing his name funny and asking for his furry finger to fit with a ring, and offering to lick the fur on the top of his head.
Mark pulled over his Rolls Royce and plucked the dying kitten from the storm draining. It was black and yellow striped, beautiful on the outside and in, and mewing pitifully.
"Hear hear, kitty kitty." Mark mewed. "Just because no one else in the world loves you doesn't mean I don't love you."
It was exactly like a scene out of the childhood game Rachel's sister and Rachel used to play as a kid in the shower, little bunny in the cold. Mark plucked a dying kitten out of the storm drain and nursed it back to health.
At home, Mark hosed of the kitten in the shower and fed it some chopped up mouse pieces. The kitten learned Mark's name, Mar-kus. It purred Marks name.
"Mar-kus. Mar-kus. Mar-kus." the cat spoke rhythmically.
Mark was taken aback and stared, transfixed. "Yes Rachel?" He had named the cute little kitten Rachel.
"Mar-kus. I am Ray-shull. I want to tell you about the secrets of the universe."
Mark gave Rachel a strong cup of coffee, and Rachel perked up and groomed her whiskers, that kissed Mark on the cheek playfully.
"I come from a faraway land. Ten thousand, twenty-three million years ago, God took a match and lit it. That was the big bang.
"As the universe grew, it began to engulf all other flames in God's heart. He named this new universe Earth's beginnings. Then, God's child touched the flame, and burnt his finger. At this point, God put the child to bed. In this moment, Earth was created. God named the planet Earth, as his child's name was Earth.
"Then, God put a spell on a woman, and she fell madly in love with her neighbor on Earth. This is Mark and Priscilla."
Mark stared at Rachel in disbelief. "Okay, time to lay off the catnip, Rachel."
"And I, I was there at creation. I incarnated on Earth as a modern day Jesus. That makes Mar-kus the elias and Priscilla his wife the great mother of the giving tree."
Mark kissed Rachel softly on the cheek. "Rachel, in your dreams does my wife Priscilla not love me for me, right, she had a spell cast on her..."
"Mar-kus. Mar-kus. Mar-kus. She loves you for that spot inside your soul only, that spot that labels you one of the Chosen Three. The Chosen Three are Rachel, Mar-kus, and Jason Farnworth."
"Don't bring Jason into this!" Mark screamed and reached for his pocket knife.
"MEOW! MEOW! MEOW!"
Mark laughed. "I'm sorry, Rachel. I thought you were being an insane bad kitten. Now I see you are just and eccentric good kitten. I didn't mean to threaten to harm an innocent creature with my temper. See, I come from a long line of angry men who do angry things like create enterprises. It takes an angry man to be successful."
"I know you are an angry man, Mar-kus. Now I am going to sing you a soothing melody to get you to calm down."
And Rachel started humming a tune, with a pulsating techno beat. Mark's eyes got big and he fell in love with Rachel.
Then the hands of God swiped over the area, and the two were separated semi-permanently. Rachel was given a home in a sinful atheist household in Portland, Oregon. She was fed more milk there than she needed.
When her paws were accustomed to the key board, she wrote Mark Zuckerberg a message on Facebook, asking for his paw in martiage. Mark looked it and laughed at the gibberish over and over and over again.
To this day, he still tells that story to his friends. How a cat wrote him a message on Facebook, pronouncing his name funny and asking for his furry finger to fit with a ring, and offering to lick the fur on the top of his head.
The Mysterious Bird Call
One day, Rachel woke up to the sound of a mysterious bird calling her name. She left the house in her frenzy.
As she walked, the spirits taunted her. They pointed fingers and made fun of her messy hair and fat belly. But Rachel continued to walk. And every time she turned, the turned in the right direction.
She finally made it to the coffee shop. There were reporters everywhere. "And Rachel Walks in!" The headlines read. Rachel had saved her village from eminent scurvy.
And everywhere that Rachel went, the paparazzi was soon to follow. And every time a boy said no to her, the boy next door held his hands behind his back while Rachel punched him in the nose.
Except Rachel didn't realize she was dreaming. When she woke for real, it was too the tweeting of a bird outside her window, and Rachel realized she really was on a mission to save the world from eminent destruction. She just had to fix the hole inside her soul first.
Many people were willing to help with that. Rachel had at first thought no one cared, but then it turned out, they were just intimidated and afraid to respond to her Facebook posts or message her on Facebook because Rachel demanded so much respect! When Rachel learned this, she breathed a sigh of releif. So people weren't so bad after her! The squirrels and the chipmunks surrounded Rachel laughed in a nervous way as Rachel ordered another beer, and used it to toast to the upcoming new age.
Rachel's favorite chipmunk was a chipmunk named Chance. He died prematurely of food poisoning after eating the wrong type of shroom at a party. He gave Rachel a pat on the back and told her she was worth more than she thought she was and that everyone on the other side loves her. Everyone cares very deeply and hope she doesn't try to hurt herself after her life becomes boring when the media stops paying attention to the Rachel Zuhl new story and instead starts focusing on the Iizzii new story.
As she walked, the spirits taunted her. They pointed fingers and made fun of her messy hair and fat belly. But Rachel continued to walk. And every time she turned, the turned in the right direction.
She finally made it to the coffee shop. There were reporters everywhere. "And Rachel Walks in!" The headlines read. Rachel had saved her village from eminent scurvy.
And everywhere that Rachel went, the paparazzi was soon to follow. And every time a boy said no to her, the boy next door held his hands behind his back while Rachel punched him in the nose.
Except Rachel didn't realize she was dreaming. When she woke for real, it was too the tweeting of a bird outside her window, and Rachel realized she really was on a mission to save the world from eminent destruction. She just had to fix the hole inside her soul first.
Many people were willing to help with that. Rachel had at first thought no one cared, but then it turned out, they were just intimidated and afraid to respond to her Facebook posts or message her on Facebook because Rachel demanded so much respect! When Rachel learned this, she breathed a sigh of releif. So people weren't so bad after her! The squirrels and the chipmunks surrounded Rachel laughed in a nervous way as Rachel ordered another beer, and used it to toast to the upcoming new age.
Rachel's favorite chipmunk was a chipmunk named Chance. He died prematurely of food poisoning after eating the wrong type of shroom at a party. He gave Rachel a pat on the back and told her she was worth more than she thought she was and that everyone on the other side loves her. Everyone cares very deeply and hope she doesn't try to hurt herself after her life becomes boring when the media stops paying attention to the Rachel Zuhl new story and instead starts focusing on the Iizzii new story.
And Then She Turns to God!
I tried to talk to my parents about my suicidal depression. My mom says, "You're not worthless, you are just ill." Well, I hate how I am called ill. It reminds me of the word sick. They are synonyms. And sick people molest children.
I don't really think I am ill, which means right off the bat that this conversation is not going to be productive. Through deductive reasoning, I conclude that the best solution is God. I ask my parents if I should turn to Jesus. My dad makes a noise like this is hokey and stupid. This pisses me the fuck off. I am being serious! Lots and lots of people find hope in Jesus. Maybe he is the answer?
My sister is no help either, as she is also not a believer in God. My mom says yeah she believes in God, but he is not a person. That basically means she doesn't believe in God!
As I have no realistic suicide plan that doesn't fill me with dread, I have decided to continue living my life instead of ending it.
As I write an email to a friend and talk to another friend online, I start to smell and taste and feel the chipotle pepper again.
I don't really think I am ill, which means right off the bat that this conversation is not going to be productive. Through deductive reasoning, I conclude that the best solution is God. I ask my parents if I should turn to Jesus. My dad makes a noise like this is hokey and stupid. This pisses me the fuck off. I am being serious! Lots and lots of people find hope in Jesus. Maybe he is the answer?
My sister is no help either, as she is also not a believer in God. My mom says yeah she believes in God, but he is not a person. That basically means she doesn't believe in God!
As I have no realistic suicide plan that doesn't fill me with dread, I have decided to continue living my life instead of ending it.
As I write an email to a friend and talk to another friend online, I start to smell and taste and feel the chipotle pepper again.
Sunday, July 15, 2018
Marbles Loose
I look into your eyes, and I see the soul that's locked within. Your brain fires, and your brain is topped with a wild wad of curly fur!
Ahoy hoy! The wall says to Rachel. Time to drown your sorrow in a bowl of strawberry ice cream!
But before Rachel can move, the floor starts to lurch! Rachel is thrown round and around the room, until someone random helps her out of her impending doom!
Hello, Rachel, it's your beloved friend Mr. X. Please get the ice cream as soon as possible! It helps prevent mental collapse!
Rachel leaves, and when she returns she falls out the open window! When she walks back inside, her friend Mr. X is busy in an important meeting.
But I love you, Mr. X! Please return to me! Rachel wails at the computer screen, at a mere picture of Mr. X. Mr. X does not return. Rachel screams and cries, and only the ice cream pats her on the back and tells her it's going to be all right.
Rachel then leaves her body for a walk. When she returns, the house has become a shack of doom. There are swords falling all over the place!
When Rachel gets up from her nap, she learns she has died and is now a ghost!
Ahoy hoy! The wall says to Rachel. Time to drown your sorrow in a bowl of strawberry ice cream!
But before Rachel can move, the floor starts to lurch! Rachel is thrown round and around the room, until someone random helps her out of her impending doom!
Hello, Rachel, it's your beloved friend Mr. X. Please get the ice cream as soon as possible! It helps prevent mental collapse!
Rachel leaves, and when she returns she falls out the open window! When she walks back inside, her friend Mr. X is busy in an important meeting.
But I love you, Mr. X! Please return to me! Rachel wails at the computer screen, at a mere picture of Mr. X. Mr. X does not return. Rachel screams and cries, and only the ice cream pats her on the back and tells her it's going to be all right.
Rachel then leaves her body for a walk. When she returns, the house has become a shack of doom. There are swords falling all over the place!
When Rachel gets up from her nap, she learns she has died and is now a ghost!
Friday, July 6, 2018
Indigo Children: The Vew-sings and Musings of the One Named Rachel
I believe in indigo children as a concept, and I believe what they say about both indigo children and crystal children and rainbow children are misunderstood as a concept.
However, I tend to believe that labeling your child as and indigo or crystal, or labeling yourself for that matter, or whatever... Is kind of elitest.
Like, this people are all around superior.
I was on one of those websites and I was laughing my head off about a concept called incarnated angels. There was a woman who supposedly saved a man from a dog, and she left right away before anyone could talk to her. Yet, she lived to tell the tale and wrote about it on the internet. This woman claimed that she was an incarnated angels.
Well I fit the mold too, one time at Jimmy John's I was off work and leaving when a frazzled starving man wandered in and I bought him a couple loafs of bread ( I like how Jimmy John's sells day old bread, follow suit Subway and sell day old cookies). I left right away before I could even see his reaction when they handed him the two loaves of bread because I was very very busy and stuff with mysticism. This qualifies me as a incarnated angel.
And I read what this woman said, voluptuous bodies and ideally proportioned faces. This is actually probably a sign that this woman is not advanced spiritually if her face and body are ideal because people who are more advanced are usually less attractive physically but obviously this is taken on a case by case basis.
Anyway, so I don't believe in rainbow children either. My guides point out there is some conversation they want to have with me about exactly what people mean by "rainbow" children and then why it's another elitest label in both me and my guides minds.
Anyway, so I believe in it. I believe that several decades ago more advanced children started coming to Earth, and then we get a slightly more spiritually advanced populace waiting for the dawning of a spiritual revolution.
I don't believe they have some sort of beautiful eyes necessarily, I don't know if there is any truth to that theory at all that their eyes look any particular way.
The theory on these websites is, they have large blue eyes. Which leads to a giggle fest about the Aryan race.
However, I tend to believe that labeling your child as and indigo or crystal, or labeling yourself for that matter, or whatever... Is kind of elitest.
Like, this people are all around superior.
I was on one of those websites and I was laughing my head off about a concept called incarnated angels. There was a woman who supposedly saved a man from a dog, and she left right away before anyone could talk to her. Yet, she lived to tell the tale and wrote about it on the internet. This woman claimed that she was an incarnated angels.
Well I fit the mold too, one time at Jimmy John's I was off work and leaving when a frazzled starving man wandered in and I bought him a couple loafs of bread ( I like how Jimmy John's sells day old bread, follow suit Subway and sell day old cookies). I left right away before I could even see his reaction when they handed him the two loaves of bread because I was very very busy and stuff with mysticism. This qualifies me as a incarnated angel.
And I read what this woman said, voluptuous bodies and ideally proportioned faces. This is actually probably a sign that this woman is not advanced spiritually if her face and body are ideal because people who are more advanced are usually less attractive physically but obviously this is taken on a case by case basis.
Anyway, so I don't believe in rainbow children either. My guides point out there is some conversation they want to have with me about exactly what people mean by "rainbow" children and then why it's another elitest label in both me and my guides minds.
Anyway, so I believe in it. I believe that several decades ago more advanced children started coming to Earth, and then we get a slightly more spiritually advanced populace waiting for the dawning of a spiritual revolution.
I don't believe they have some sort of beautiful eyes necessarily, I don't know if there is any truth to that theory at all that their eyes look any particular way.
The theory on these websites is, they have large blue eyes. Which leads to a giggle fest about the Aryan race.
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