So, I have this problem. This problem is that my brain thinks it's psychic.
Actually, I am psychic. But I think I am psychic in a way that I am not. I imagine people having conversations about me. Then I convince myself that they are real.
Actually, I don't really actively convince myself that they are real, but the trouble is my brain reacts to these conversations as if they were real.
Sometimes they are happy. Sometimes it's fun. Sometimes it's like, hey, wouldn't it be nice if this one person said this about me? So I imagine them saying it. And then it's like, Wow, I can't believe this person said that about me! That's so sweet! Then I am happy.
Then it's like, the chemicals go awry. And without my permission, unhappy things start entering my head. And I am like, oh God, I am psychic! People are talking shit about me!! BLARGH!!!! AHHHHH!!!
I must clear my head. Clear my head. Drink some caffeine, beer (NO NOT BEER!!!!) and clear my head.
Alcohol works best. But I'm not supposed to be drinking anymore.
THOUGHTS LEAVE MY HEAD!!!
Wasn't there a time when my head was clear? When I didn't have to imagine imaginary conversations to be happy? Because that's what I do, imagine imaginary conversations in order to find some sort of peace and happiness. But it gets out of hand. I look at a word, and subconsciously, I associate it with something in my life, good or bad. Usually bad. And then I start fucking freaking out.
It's chemical, man. I need to change the chemicals in my brain.
I think I might have to resort to the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors.
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