The Pitfalls of Trying to Play "Marriage Counseler"

So... Let's get straight to the point, shall we? Why did I DELIBERATELY break the coffee pot at the group home? I don't like breaking things, by the way. I don't feel like breaking things are shattering things to make me feel better. Also, I didn't "smash" the coffee pot, I just tapped it rather lightly on purpose to bump it to the ground. What's the issue here? My parent's need marriage counciling. Which brings me back to... something my guides said about their favorite part of Innercept, which was lecture after lecture about "collusion." I don't know that this is even a proper definition of collusion... But Bruce said, in a relationship with two people, one person does something that makes the other mad, and the other reacts by angering them back, and then the first person does something to anger the second person. It continues like that, it becomes a vicious downward spiral. My dad's problem is his weight. He has lost weight from his highest point, however I am not convinced he is still losing weight, like he says. There are health concerns with my dad, and I am not told about them. My dad's problem is that he overeats. My mom's problem is that she spends his money and whines. I'm trying to point this out to Beev, for the love of God, stop spending his money altogether. Imagination Christmases, Imagination Birthdays. No vacations. How many times have you gone to Europe, Beev? It's not free. Yes Beev, the problem is you now. I understand that you are very disappointed in your husband for gaining so much weight after you married him, and now it seems to me like you have a childish attitude about how you managed to secure a rich husband. At the same time... I do wonder if "gentle nagging," I'm thinking of Marge Simpson here, might actually deter the behavior of him overeating. My dad is working as hard as he can to make money again. When I lived at home, I heard it every morning in the bathroom through the wall. It is a hell of a struggle for him to get up and get moving. He can't help it, okay, it's hard for him to move first thing in the morning. Why is he mad at you Beev? The kids are grown and gone. You are no longer a "stay at home mother." You don't do your job either. What's the other confounding issue here? Christmas in the Zuhl household. I have an older sister, who still has this little kid attitude about Christmas which drives everyone in my immediate family fucking nuts. Your dreams don't come true on Christmas anymore, Kristen. Christmas is a holiday for children. That's why they say "it's the thought that counts." All this whining and complaining about Christmas comes from my older sister, and I do not want my parents to fall for the pitfall of confusing which daughter is which. I personally do not care about Christmas. For me, it is just another day on the calendar. I personally enjoy November 19th, there aren't actually any November 19th traditions I just look at the calendar and feel happy, yay, another November 19th. Actually though, I don't care about holidays in general. I hate obsessing about the time of year. On a related note, I'm also not the one who thought there was something wrong with my parents for not wanting to be famous, I am not the one who complains about how I have to be dazzled with an exquisite home-cooked meal when I come to visit, and I am not the one who picks on my mom for not making an effort with her appearance and bugging her about how she should wear more makeup. Do not confuse your two daughters, here. So, what is the issue here? Dunkin Donuts Coffee. I am not complaining about the coffee, Beev. It was fine, I didn't feel the need to shower you with affection for buying me coffee. The coffee brand was fine. However, speaking of coffee tastes... There was a situation early at Innercept, where a girl there was getting a gift of French Vanilla Dunkin Donuts coffee. And if we are speaking of coffee tastes, I fucking hate flavored coffee, okay. I don't think this was flavored coffee, but that's why I didn't shower Beev with praise for the fact that it was Dunkin Donuts. I wasn't complaining either, it was just fine. However, I walked into the room when my parents were alone, and they said something about the coffee being crisco. Which reminds me of something about my late grandma I wonder if I should even share, and it's probably fine because she says so... My grandma, that is... When she was old she had to put Crisco on her anus to prevent leakage. Of course, as children, this grossed the fuck out of us and we had an annoyed attitude about the situation. So when Beev says to me, that was a joke your father made I thought was funny! Actually, for one I don't even believe you. But on the other hand, I wasn't actually in the room when it happened. Seems like a sign of dementia that you would even point out it reminds you of Crisco, actually. Just sayin' What's the other issue here? I am simultaneously pointing something out to Feether Meeke, in private, which is that I think he could have done better than that woman. And with some sort of incest theme, in general, in the entirety of this situation... I also have a fear, yes, an irrational fear, that he thinks I am into him sexually, which I know is wrong, but this is due to factors in my psychology I do not have control over. There is something on a subconscious level of awareness, called fears. These are known to be irrational, and fear that the parent of the opposite sex (or same sex if you are gay), thinks you are sexually interested, is actually a common fear. This is, what I call, "Psychologie." Though I'm not sure that's the French word for psychology, no assumptions or jokes about the French here, just saying it's concepts that may seem foreign. So... My mom liked the joke about how I didn't appreciate the gift because it reminds me of Crisco, was what I heard from my mother. And I don't know if that happened for sure, and I am biased towards believing information that is conveyed to me. That's a joke at my expense, if it happened, Beev. Actually... What comes up here, I had a friend who was sending subliminal messages to me. And... it's hard to think clearly when I am scared, in general. I pointed out to my dad in the car, upon him making a comment about sleep walking off a cliff in THOSE houses, "I wouldn't expect that to be a problem." Which brings us too... "Weak Subbie Syndrome." In general, when people do things they regret upon waking in their sleep, it indicates Weak Subbie Syndrome. They don't have strong subconscious minds. And, on a side note, like Homer Simpson, I have a stronger subconscious mind than I have a conscious mind. That's the thing, but that is off topic. My dad laughed pretty hard when I told him I didn't expect sleep walking off a cliff to be a problem. I knew at that moment, through empathy and things Subbie has pointed out to me, "I'm not actually mad about your global warming messiah situation," (which worries me to even point out that is what I am thinking here, but I sort of have to), I just need to sleep, maybe, and this is very hard because I have to face my worst fear of being publically humiliated. Anyway... The joke here, with Dunkin Donuts coffee. Beside the fact that I have been pushing coffee, or providing coffee, in a Group home where coffee might exacerbate mental illness... And besides the fact that someone just died of a heart attack, and people have been taking my coffee without asking... And besides the fact that I eat a ton and I don't want people to think I'm gluttonous, but that's not really it either. This is a junk food reference too. Anyway, what am I getting at? With Beev... I wouldn't trust her subconscious mind not to do things in her sleep. There is a sleep disorder where people binge eat in their sleep, and I'm not saying I would expect Beev to do that, but in this situation where the psyche is humiliated and stressed out, I actually wouldn't trust her not to. So... What's the joke here? Seems like a subliminal message to drink coffee instead of binge eating in her sleep. And then... With my dad's anger at my mom for never actually having sex with him, anymore... Crisco seems like an anal rape joke. At any rate, "Dunkin Donuts Coffee" Seems like a subliminal message. Also, to my case manager Laura, please forgive me for not thinking completely rationally all the time when I am so overwhelmed by all this. That's the other thing. With my situation, Don't assume CONSISTENT rational thinking. I do get overwhelmed, and another thing I learned at Innercept... thinking becomes irrational when extreme anger is involved. Just part of the human experience. Thank you for your time.