The Estuary

The estuary is where I found myself about a month ago, following the removal of a delusion.

Over the course of this delusion, I built up a lot of energy that was destined to survive the removal of the delusion.

The estuary is a natural setting, breathtaking in beauty, but it's all about the essence. There are a series of pipes, beautiful in nature, but are they? The real word is, raw. Are they raw with beauty, or raw with real ugliness? What is ugliness?

What is ugliness? The real question is, do you possess enough inner beauty for your happiness to survive this jarring shift?

As the essense flows back in forth from pipe to pipe, so does my happiness. It is like energy surrounding a picture. At times, for a second, the real big picture looks ugly and bleak. Then the energy flows, or the essence flows, and the picture is startling. Is it ever beautiful? Well, we are trying!

Does the picture ever lack the raw element? The answer is, yes. Right now, the picture lacks the raw element. It is gorgeous and real.

What did it originally look like? Like sinew, and desolation, and death. Then the energy flows, and it shows a different frame of Earth.

We are all here, in this place we call Earth. Where is our inner beauty? If you possess inner beauty, are you happy?

The answer is, if you are enlightened, you feel your inner beauty at all times.

A person who is beautiful on the outside does not feel the happiness of their inner beauty. They see their beauty when they are looking in the mirror, when they are not looking they are not happy. Is outer beauty enough? Everyone wants outer beauty! Does outer beauty fill the void inside you? The answer is, no.

You might be ugly on the inside, and feel dumb even when you are looking in the mirror. I am beautiful, but guys call me a skank. (this woman, not me)

Even outer beauty does not fill the void! Is beauty real if other people cannot see it? Sometimes I think, no.

In the estuary, you feel alone but you are with others. Does anyone love you? The answer is no. You come into this world, and maybe leave it, without anyone caring about you except yourself.

Does a higher power care? Well, yes, Rachel.