The myth I wanted to dispel today was the notion that if you had a bad childhood with bad parents, when you get to a certain age you need to stop blaming them for the way your life turned out.
However, it's true, obviously. If you want to have a good life, you have to let go of the anger you have toward your parents for giving you issues.
But when your partner gets on your case... a bad childhood is a valid excuse.
The truth is, acknowledging that your parents are the cause of your issues is important. In some cases, the alternative is blaming yourself. If you blame yourself for your issues, that wears away at your self-esteem and perpetuates the idea that you are destined for failure. You have to look at your own issues and say, no wonder I have problems with my body image. My mom made jabs at the way my clothes fit my body all the time growing up! First acknowledge that anyone in your situation would have grown up the same way. Acknowledge that it's okay to have issues.
Then, everytime you feel bad about your body, ask yourself, "Who is talking here? Is it me or my mom?"
You have to realize the power of firmly held beliefs. If early on in life you never did well in school, you were told you were a poor student, over and over again, you may get a firmly held belief planted in your mind that you will always do poorly in school.
We could say, pull yourself up by your bootstraps. Try anyway! But you can't do that! Firmly held beliefs are powerful!
When the mistreatment of your parents led to a whole bunch of firmly held beliefs that you will always fail, the harder you try the harder you fail, change is bad, etc... You are fucked. Plain and simple.
You are destined for an unhappy life. And it's your parents fault.
You get a character like Eminem. It's a situation where his music is his own artistic space. One of the issues that keeps coming up in his mind is, man, my mom fucked me up. So yeah, he has every right to write songs about her.
I do not consider it to be immature.
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