The Gay Movement

What is the gender revolution? In this country, people are feeling confined by labeling their gender and want this concept removed from society.

What is the function of gender? Gender basically encampsulates a basic idea of what your genitalia look like, and how they function, and what role you play in reproduction. There shouldn't be any presumptitive ideas about what that means about your personality or sense of style. Likewise, there is a basic assumption that comes along with it, the presumption that you show romantic and sexual interests in the opposite gender. This presumption may be false, but we will start with it until the person in question corrects us.

In today's day and age, it should be noted that the notion that straight and homosexual are equal has not yet been widely accepted. This is a tricky situation. According to the established religious doctrine of some, homosexuality is a sin. This situation requires understanding and compassion from people on the left to try not to demonize the bible thumpers whose belief system is based on this religious doctrine.

And then we get the "Leviticus Also Says..." movement. This is a movement founded on ignorance, because if you know the bible, homosexuality is demonized in the New Testament as well. There is no reason to take Leviticus seriously. Why are we reading this book again? Is there a reason Leviticus is still in the bible? The "Leviticus Also Says.." movement is a movement founded on ignorance and intolerance, based on the Too Long/Didn't Read Doctrine.

What is it that the far right conservative movement believes? Well, it says in the Good Book that homosexuality happens when people are engulfed in a sin for whatever reason. In other words, it is an outer expression of an internal conflict with the devil. Therefore, the people that embrace this lifestyle as equal, are as bad as the people who practice homosexuality!

How do we resolve this disagreement? First and foremost, is the notion that when in doubt, mind your own business.

But then the far left comes at you using their lecherous tactics. You misspoke while stating your opinion, and as a result your name officially became synonomous with the frothy feces mixture that is a result of their repulsive sex act! And you say to yourself, Lord, please help them. I am trying my hardest to explain to them my opinion and be reasonable, and I wasn't aware that a simple comparison (or differentiation) between beastiality and their sex act would make me the target of a digital crap smearing. How long before we are all engulfed in this proverbial fecal matter?

And this is when we need to back off, and let the other side be. What is the gay movement asking for again? Well, first off, they want to feel safe. Fair enough. They don't want to feel like they are being judged so harshly for being themselves. Well, that's tough. In this Damned if you do, Damned if you don't world, you are inevitably a sinner no matter what you do!

And as the bible states every once in awhile, it's God who will do the judging. It's a sin to judge other people, and it also says somewhere in their book, if they judge you for your gay lifestyle/orientation/status/whatever they are also out of favor with God.

What else does the gay movement want? Well, they want to be able to marry the person they fall in love with and enjoy the same rights as straight couples. Probably none of your business, bible thumpers.

And in due time, they would also like to be able to adopt and raise children. Well, in this day and age, there is some sort of universal human right element to the practice of child rearing, unless you make a show of proving to the world that you are incapable of it.

And when it comes down it, we know that the United States of America is not a theocracy and there is no established Fundamentist Christian religion. After all, most of us have actually had regular encounters with homosexuals! In fact, most of us have close friends who are homosexual, and using our best judgment, a lot of us don't agree with the idea that there is something abhorrent about these people. In fact, some of us would even agree with the statement that some of the kindest, sweetest, strongest people we know identify as homosexual!

So what gives, says the rest of us? Have you never met any gay people in your life? Do you honestly not know any gay people who you respect and admire?

When it comes down to it, we look at these statements of the bible and our brow furrows a bit. After all, it says in your religion that the bible is the inerrant word of God.

Does your Bible still contain Leviticus?

Charlie Brown Grows an Inch

Well first of all, it's fitting that this is a child saying this. I will continue as Charlie asks his mother this question.

Ma?

What is it, Charlie?

How come people who didn't vote for John McCain cared that he died?

Well, Charlie, that is a big question! Big enough for... Mr. Snarkie Pants!

(Mrs. Brown pulls out a sock puppet, and uses a funny voice to answer Charlie's question)

Well, that's a poser Charlie... How would you feel if your little sister Sally was beaten viciously by a gang of thugs and was in such awful pain she could barely move?

Well, that would be terrible!

But didn't you pick on her yesterday and call her ugly?

Well I didn't mean it! She was poking me and I didn't like it!

Do you want her to suffer?

No!

Do you love her?

Yes!

Do you want her to run the country?

Now that's just ridiculous, Mr. Snarkie Pants!

See, in the adult world, sometimes we like someone but don't want them to run the country. Liberals like John McCain, but felt he was a weak candidate compared to Obama.

Did liberals invent the concept of childish insults?

No, there are both childish liberals insulting conservatives and childish conservatives insulting liberals.

Thinking Outside the Human Framework

Why do people choose atheism?

Well, after all, what do we know? How are we capable of understanding the truth, when we live inside a human framework?

In the primordial days, humans would look to the sky, and assign a human soul to inanimate forces. They would like to the sun, and the sun had a spirit and call it the sun god. They would like to the wind, assign a human soul and call it the god of the wind. The spirit of the river, the spirit of mother nature, the spirit of the almighty force of God.

We, as humans, see human faces in forces of nature that are without souls or life or human characteristics.

Therefore, we took it a step further than you did, Theists. We took the idea that these inanimate forces have souls is a fallacy in human thinking, and applied that concept to the original mover as well. We have a tendency, as humans, to see human faces in things, and that's a proven fact. We atheists see that you have assigned a human face to the original mover, so we have looked beyond the human framework and removed it.

Then, the atheists put their pencils down. We have done our work!

Then Rachel steps in, and she sees this entire thought process as juvenile because it was the same thought process she went through as a kid. She's still holding her pencil.

If a tree falls in the forest and there is no one around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Is there a difference between human characteristics such as sex drive, love of food, enjoyment of violence, stuff of that nature, and the basic concept of awareness and consciousness? Can we assign the concept of consciousness to the creational force of the universe, without assigning any of the other human characteristics?

What about the ability to think? Does it take consciousness to think? Do you need to be aware, to think? "I think, therefore I am" comes to mind. What does an inanimate force do that is so important to the universe, that it is more important than conscious thought?

What is superior, consciousness, or lack thereof?

How does an unconscious, unaware universe, create conscious thought processes?

Do you see inherent value in consciousness, or is this some sort of valueless concept that only humans understand? Is thinking a concept devoid of real value, only valued by humans?

What is value? Does consciousness have value? Does the universe understand value? Obviously not, it was created without value, it it is an unconscious creational force. If there is no value, is there also no truth?

Is there a such thing as value?

The universe does not think, only behaves according to predetermined patterns. Can you think without awarness? The universe thinks, without awarness, obviously.

This type of unconscious thinking, is superior to human thinking with requires self-awareness, and is muddied by self-awareness.

Diddlywinks: A Vampire Story

Diddlywinks was young. She looked in the mirror and she was still young. But one day, she would be old.

Desire, said Moar. You desire youth.

NO! Diddlywinks said with a sarcastic grin. Please, don't change me!

Diddlywinks, for the last time, I'm not going to change you into a vampire! You will crave nothing but blood!

But I crave beauty now so badly it couldn't be quenched by an unimaginable thirst for blood!

Diddlywinks stared longingly into Moar's eyes. He was so beautiful.

Then, she coughed and a key fell out of her mouth!

WHAT?! Diddlywinks screamed.

It means you are the chosen one, said Boar. He bit and changed her into a vampire.

Then, there was an explosion. There was a fire and two people were killed. None of them human.

I see, said Diddlywinks. All it took was a sign from God! She looked into Moar's eyes, and felt nothing but lust for human blood.

I see what you are thinking, said Moar. I feel the same desire for human blood as you but not as strong because you are a newly changed.

I feel.. I feel... I feel... said Diddlywinks. She stared into Moar's eyes, and tried to feel the lust she'd once had for him.

I feel... hungry.

I feel you are correct, said Moar.

Do you feel it? Said Diddlywinks. She was taken aback at his sixth sense.

I do.

I want you never. I want you always. God, stop pissing on my brain.

They parted ways as their interests changed.

The Estuary

The estuary is where I found myself about a month ago, following the removal of a delusion.

Over the course of this delusion, I built up a lot of energy that was destined to survive the removal of the delusion.

The estuary is a natural setting, breathtaking in beauty, but it's all about the essence. There are a series of pipes, beautiful in nature, but are they? The real word is, raw. Are they raw with beauty, or raw with real ugliness? What is ugliness?

What is ugliness? The real question is, do you possess enough inner beauty for your happiness to survive this jarring shift?

As the essense flows back in forth from pipe to pipe, so does my happiness. It is like energy surrounding a picture. At times, for a second, the real big picture looks ugly and bleak. Then the energy flows, or the essence flows, and the picture is startling. Is it ever beautiful? Well, we are trying!

Does the picture ever lack the raw element? The answer is, yes. Right now, the picture lacks the raw element. It is gorgeous and real.

What did it originally look like? Like sinew, and desolation, and death. Then the energy flows, and it shows a different frame of Earth.

We are all here, in this place we call Earth. Where is our inner beauty? If you possess inner beauty, are you happy?

The answer is, if you are enlightened, you feel your inner beauty at all times.

A person who is beautiful on the outside does not feel the happiness of their inner beauty. They see their beauty when they are looking in the mirror, when they are not looking they are not happy. Is outer beauty enough? Everyone wants outer beauty! Does outer beauty fill the void inside you? The answer is, no.

You might be ugly on the inside, and feel dumb even when you are looking in the mirror. I am beautiful, but guys call me a skank. (this woman, not me)

Even outer beauty does not fill the void! Is beauty real if other people cannot see it? Sometimes I think, no.

In the estuary, you feel alone but you are with others. Does anyone love you? The answer is no. You come into this world, and maybe leave it, without anyone caring about you except yourself.

Does a higher power care? Well, yes, Rachel.

Innercept: What you are Paying for

If you want to spend $20,000 a month to CURE your child's mental illness, here is what you get for that money...

A place for your child to live.
Two groups a day on week days. Groups include repetitive groups on the topics of collusion, anger management, and process group where you bring up interpersonal issues. Occasionally there might be one of Dr. Ullrich's group about how YOU are capable of changing your DNA!

One counseling session a week, plus one on the phone with you, the parents.

One psychiatrist sessiong a week, where your child's concerns will be repeatedly ignored.

Food that is healthy in small portions.

And meds.

Gas for the car to go to the lake.

Mania and Me: Examination of the Diagnostic Criteria

Upon examination of the diagnostic critera for mania, I find I don't fit the criteria.

First, here's the criteria:

• Inflated self-esteem or grandiosity
• Decreased need for sleep (e.g., one feels rested after only 3 hours of sleep)
• More talkative than usual or pressure to keep talking
• Flight of ideas or subjective experience that thoughts are racing
• Attention is easily drawn to unimportant or irrelevant items
• Increase in goal-directed activity (either socially, at work or school; or sexually) or psychomotor agitation
• Excessive involvement in pleasurable activities that have a high potential for painful consequences (e.g., engaging in unrestrained buying sprees, sexual indiscretions, or foolish business investments)

Taken from psychcentral.com

We are talking about my first episode.

First off, did I have inflated self-esteem? No, I wouldn't say so. Grandiosity is a narcissistic view of superiority and I definitely did not have that. So not, I didn't have this symptom.

Decreased need for sleep? Yes, so yes on this one.

More talkative? I talked less, as I was putting together a puzzle in my mind. So no.

Flight of ideas/racing thoughts? Well I had a heavy flow of thought, not a fast one. My thoughts weren't actually quicker.

This is a problem I deal with constantly when dealing with people about this. No, I have never experienced racing thoughts. I don't know what that feels like. I keep telling them this, they keep telling me over and over again that my thoughts race.

This one is probably a yes, due to the fact that there was a heavy flow of thoughts.

Easily distracted? No, I'm just not listening to the person I am talking to ever. So no.

Increase in goal activity? No, I didn't do anything goal-oriented at all.

Excessive involvement in pleasurable activities? Nope.

This last one is where some people on the diagnosis team say yes! She overdrew her bank account!

Anyway.

Freak of Nature: The FDA Approval Process

So, first of all, let's talk about the FDA drug approval process. According to fda.gov, Phase 1 of the clinical research process is the only stage of the FDA drug approval process that tests a new drug on healthy patients. All other phases are tested on patients with the condition a drug is intended to treat.

In Phase 1 of clinical research, their are only 20-100 subjects the drug is tested on. That's not very many!

Well, of course, safety is studied more in depth later on, on subjects with the condition. So, obviously, if you are being forced to take this drug, you indeed have the condition. There's no such thing as being misdiagnosed.

So if bipolar patient's brains differ in structure from other people's, it doesn't matter because we know for a 100% proven fact you do indeed have bipolar disorder.

Anyway, these are also subjects who are participating voluntarily. So if there is an intelligence gap between people who voluntarily agree to take unsafe medication and people who refuse, and thus a difference in brain structure, we wouldn't know about it.

So anyway, Rachel is being forced to take a new medication and is experiencing rapidly cycling mood up and down and up and down. When she is up, she sits by the bath tub and laughs her head off. When she is down, she contemplates suicide.

All this started the day her morning dose of Geodon was discontinued due to excessive morning sleepiness. Previously, we were giving her one after one (a basic grade of behavior, ones are bad, two's passing, three's excelling) due to falling asleep in group. As soon as the morning dose was discontinued, around about 3 pm she starts cycling rapidly up and down with her moods. Due to the fact that she is diagnosed bipolar, and mood swings are not a known side effect of Geodon, we can conclude that her condition worsened the same day we discontinued the morning dose of Geodon.

And we will continue to ignore Rachel's desperate pleas for us to take her off this medication.

How Scientology Meshes into my Spiritual Belief System

To me, what I have learned about Scientology from Erik is not part of any spiritual belief system. It offers some insight into something about human psychology I wasn't previously aware of.

Engrams. These aren't the "little things that run around," like my mom said. Engrams are a bug in human psychology.

An engram starts when you are in an altered state, whether it be induced by drugs, anger, fear, etc. When you are in an altered state and something that is a big deal happens, like someone is rude to you, an engram is made.

The engram gets activated again when there are a number of similar elements to the time the engram is made, present in your mind at once. They can make you act irrationally, or like you did when the engram was first being made. Whatever you experience at this point, becomes part of the engram. You keep adding to the engram.

In order to do what I do and go through altered state, knowledge of the concept of engrams is a requirement. I have examples of engrams I have dealt with in my life, but none of the examples are examples I would like to share here. That's because they deal with subjects that I am not sharing on my blog at this time, or because I don't want trigger words used against me. Seriously.

So what I am trying to say is, this is just a belief about an aspect of human psychology. It's not really a spiritual belief. I am not a Scientologist, have no desire to convert.

It's basically a belief about patterns of irrational behavior, or irrational reactions to situations, based on how you have reacted to them in the past, or it brings up emotions of your past experience in these situations.

I don't understand why this is seen as crazy. This is a completely reasonable belief. And as I say, who's to say what beliefs are crazy?

It's also part of human psychology, if you are hypnotized, to be very suggestible. If someone tells you, your right arm disappeared, and you are hypnotized, you will start flipping out because you feel you are an amputee.

We can sit back and wonder, why are there so many crazy people in the world? Why are so many people Scientologists? And then we can wonder, why do so many people take part in auditing, in a practice that is obviously, because we read some article on the internet, complete hublub? Obviously these people are deluded and full of shit!

Or we can give people the benefit of the doubt, and say, there are reasons people like this psychological practice, this practice known as Scientology. It benefits a lot of people!

Parents with Issues: Can you overcome their bad choices?

The myth I wanted to dispel today was the notion that if you had a bad childhood with bad parents, when you get to a certain age you need to stop blaming them for the way your life turned out.

However, it's true, obviously. If you want to have a good life, you have to let go of the anger you have toward your parents for giving you issues.

But when your partner gets on your case... a bad childhood is a valid excuse.

The truth is, acknowledging that your parents are the cause of your issues is important. In some cases, the alternative is blaming yourself. If you blame yourself for your issues, that wears away at your self-esteem and perpetuates the idea that you are destined for failure. You have to look at your own issues and say, no wonder I have problems with my body image. My mom made jabs at the way my clothes fit my body all the time growing up! First acknowledge that anyone in your situation would have grown up the same way. Acknowledge that it's okay to have issues.

Then, everytime you feel bad about your body, ask yourself, "Who is talking here? Is it me or my mom?"

You have to realize the power of firmly held beliefs. If early on in life you never did well in school, you were told you were a poor student, over and over again, you may get a firmly held belief planted in your mind that you will always do poorly in school.

We could say, pull yourself up by your bootstraps. Try anyway! But you can't do that! Firmly held beliefs are powerful!

When the mistreatment of your parents led to a whole bunch of firmly held beliefs that you will always fail, the harder you try the harder you fail, change is bad, etc... You are fucked. Plain and simple.

You are destined for an unhappy life. And it's your parents fault.

You get a character like Eminem. It's a situation where his music is his own artistic space. One of the issues that keeps coming up in his mind is, man, my mom fucked me up. So yeah, he has every right to write songs about her.

I do not consider it to be immature.

Marijuana Culture

With the push to legalize marijuana... Comes an even stronger need to clean up our culture, and stop promoting the idea that marijuana is cool.

Marijuana is legal here in Oregon, and I am known to use it on occasion. I am fortunate in that I never really experimented with the drug until I was 26 years old, and my brain was fully developed (there were a couple isolated incidents of me trying marijuana at younger age).

First off, is marijuana cool? Not really, but it is a relatively harmless drug that you can use when you are old enough, to alter your mental state. I don't think it is cool, but it is prevalent in our culture.

Rap music, in particular. Urging you to "smoke weed everyday." How do we get through to the children? You will be much more intelligent as an adult, if you lay off the drugs in high school!

We need to reach out to the rap artists, and try to instill in them a sense of responsiblity to the children.

Good luck!

Serving God Through A Healthy Work Ethic

We, at the Zuhl household, are working.

I do not have a job. Do not make any money. I get government assistance.

However, that does not mean me and the spirit guides are not busy!

First comes a healthy happy workspace. I have our company symbol, the icosahedron, in prominent view.

What is the reward? Healthy happy new ego construct building, infusing power into the idea that Rachel Zuhl is a beautiful spirit and a beautiful human being. Feeling the life source, the power of God, constantly infusing Rachel with happiness and drive to keep working!

What product are we working on? Right now, the goal we are working toward is enlightenment! Wow, what a wonderful finished product!

How do we make that happen? First, we need to rid the ego of pretentious ego specks. Things that are not really Rachel Zuhl at her finest, but rather, other people and their opinions of Rachel Zuhl.

Rachel Zuhl needs to feel beautiful as a human being and spirit without other people telling her that!

I Find Truth in Dreams

I had a dream last night that had something that gave me a weird feeling. It was a piece of ancient wisdom.

The ancient wisdom was, "This is a familiar to you because it's been in your mind before."

This was the piece of wisdom.

When I was confronted with this piece of truth, I felt weird. It came like an echo. The truth echoed, oscillated and then made me feel weird when it hit a focus point and there was no running and hiding from this piece of truth. That's the best way I can think of to describe it.

It was an encounter with the life force, the truth, and there was some reference to the Akashic records. At least, the Akashic records were prevelant in my mind when I awoke. The weird feeling was an encounter with the divine. I got closer and closer to experiencing the divine, and when it hit a focal point, there was no running or hiding and it made me feel scared or freaked out though there was nothing in particular I was afraid of. Just freaked out to experience something so raw.

The life force runs through everyone, so everyone has experienced this bit of truth or wisdom in their mind at one point. It runs through everyone's mind like water.