I am having a lovely day in the sun, loving everyone, having fun, doing good things that make me believe in the president of the United States, and believing that things will never change for the worse because I'm in charge of the universe.
There were many a sleepless night, as I began ascending spiritual planes. Some nights, as I would drift off asleep, I would suddenly wake up with a start the second I drifted off, as one of three things would happen. Either my breathing would stop, my heart rate would slow way too much, or my blood pressure would drop and unsafe amount. When this happened, I felt like I was about to die.
After I woke up in the morning, we got up and made coffee. Always coffee. If I didn't drink coffee, I would go back to sleep. My guides told me in this state of the ascension process, sleeping too much equalled death. If you slept too much, you lose progress on the ascending of spiritual planes.
My guides told me a little bit about the spiritual plane thing. There were many, many, many spiritual planes. They effect not only your body's ability to digest food, but your mind set, and your outlook on life. They do other things, too, such as affect your ability to see different sorts of spirits. There were other miscellaneous effects too. They can make you act crazy, they can prevent you from sleeping, they can do things to your body that are worrisome, such as create havoc in the intestines. If you were on the wrong spiritual plane, and you ate swordfish, you would die. It is deadly on some spiritual planes. However, no one ever goes to these spiritual planes because they are so low, no one would want to.
Some people transcend spiritual planes naturally. I do not. Others, like me, have to have their guides move them from plane to plane. If you go to the wrong plane and you are not equipped to handle the dangers, the guides will move you off it.
When I woke up the next morning, it was time to go to the psychiatrist. Things were peachy. I was completely off invega at this point, the death drug I hated. When it was time to leave, we went to the grocery store. In the parking lot, Alfred started saying some funny stuff to me.
“Sweeeeet.....” he said in the parking lot. This was a key to spiritual ascension that was programmed in my DNA, when using the neural pathway he was using. It was programmed so that when I heard that, I would start ascending.
In the grocery store, he kept saying, “Sweet sweet!” like a bird tweeting. Everytime I heard this, I would ascend, and it made me feel funny and move my head around funny. It was a fun grocery store trip, because he kept saying it, and I kept ascending.
He did an animation. He pulled an arrow out of the top of my head, an arrow pointing upward. When he did this, I knew there was something going on. At the house, my guides said just roll with it, this is something we have to do.
I went for a walk, moving about in a pattern that released bodily tension and singing.
I sang, moved about, and danced, in a way that was good for my body. I had to go back to the house to refuel. This was fun. I was having a good time.
I had to eat enormous amounts of food. After a day of eating so much, my mother would say to me, “Aren't you worried about your weight?” I told her not to worry about it. She took it to mean I no longer cared if I was fat or not. “But you used to care...” She made comments about how I needed to care about my weight again, it was healthy for young women to worry about their weight. She didn't realize I wasn't worried about it because I was famished.
After awhile, it wasn't as fun anymore. My guides had me go out in the neighborhood, and look at leaves, or tree bark, or something on the ground that was natural. And they planned it ahead of time. When I would look at it just the right way, they would say it was okay, keep looking, and it added to something they were doing to me. Something spiritual, something involving the spiritual planes.
When I got back to the house, Aretha Franklin called out to me. She said workaholism! Workaholism! You need to progress through this by a heavy belief in workaholism!
We went out, and it was a drag, having to look all over the neighborhood at funny objects and making a mental note of them. After awhile, I got so sick of it I just wanted to collapse and never look at another leaf or twig again. But my guides said, you are doing great. You need help with your hunger problem. Go eat some fuel.
We went out, and it was time for the big finale. As I looked at objects, I felt something inside me building and growing and flourishing. I finally did it, had to sit on the ground, watched the eye of isis open, looked at the tree of life, and watched the sunrise. It was not that great, kind of dumb, but my guides said this was not that important but it was a spiritual awakening. I was having a spiritual awakening.
That wasn't it though, much to my chagrin. Next, I had to do a bunch of singing. I went back to the house, and my guides got specialists in to help me know which notes to sing, as I sat and sang random seeming notes, and had to try not to think mean thoughts of people. When I did, we would stop, and my guides would tell me to redo it.
After awhile of this, I had to go out in public, sit on a park bench, and sing a song. The lyrics of the song were, “Love a piece of ham and cheese.” This was a dumb song, but it was about the emotional connotations of the lyrics, and what they meant to me. It was a dumb song, but it was a necessary song.
After we were done with that, I hated every single second of it. It was time for the final stage of the ascension process. Time to walk around and listen to music. The first song they had me listen to was the song “It wasn't me” by Shaggy. As I listened, I imagined a keyhole. I had seen this keyhole before, when I was going through my supernatural experience a couple weeks ago. I had wondered, why does that boring design have such funny emotional connotations? My guides kept mum, as they didn't want to reveal any secrets.
I was told not to think of the keyhole as I listened to the music, as it created funny feelings in the guides, and was irksome.
Chapter 87
What if I were a pretentious whore? I would get the blond jokes, but I wouldn't understand the meaning behind them. Ba doom cha!
The house filled with a new breed of spirits. They were nasty, nasty, nasty feeling. They had nasty energy. My guides said these were spirits that usually hang around cemeteries. Not spirits of the deceased, spirits that that kind of carnage usually attract. Horrific spirits.
They would come around me at night, and enter my body. When they did, they ravaged my energy severely. It was brutal. I wanted to get them away from me. God told me they were dangerous. They could kill me in this state if they kept entering my body. It was up to me. Get in the shower, they won't enter you in the shower.
So I sat in the shower, and waited. The spirits were not going anywhere, so it was pointless to ward off death by sitting in the shower. I didn't get any sleep that night for a number of reasons. I was on a spiritual plane that prevented sleep, and the spirits warped my energy so that I could not sleep.
I left the house the next day, and walked around the neighborhood. I had left the house because I needed to get away from the awful spirits. Ann Coulter called out to me. She said, “Don't return to the house right away, bad vibes from the molestations. And I see you haven't gotten any sleep. May I suggest Seroquel?” It was a joke, because she knew I hated Seroquel.
We wandered the neighborhood, while my guides tried to do something to get rid of the foul spirit stench in my house. They told me they were bugging my dad too, though he didn't know it.
“We hate your dad. But this is awful. No one should have to live like this. When we are done. Sage and incense the entire house. But not one right after the other, you know what that does!”
So I did. But we weren't done with the awful spirits yet. We were also not done with the ascension process. Day after day, I had to walk around the neighborhood listening to prescribed songs. After a session of ascension songs, we had to listen to Queen to stabilize planes. I got really, really sick of the song “Killer Queen,” because this was a good stabilization song that I at one point enjoyed, so they kept having me listen to it. I got sick of this. So, so sick of this. I just wanted to jam out to my music, but if I jammed out too hard, I would ascend too hard. Even saying the word “ascension” was a no no, it made me ascend spiritual planes rapidly, just saying the word, because I am a spell worker.
I had to stay up all night, for several nights in a row. After one particularly long night, God made me drink worcestire sauce. It contained a electrolyte in it that was usually not in low supply, but now was, because of the ascension process. I drank some worcestire sauce, which contained alcohol, and started to feel the very small amount of alcohol hit my bloodstream.
“Okay, in a second, you can drink vinegar! You need vinegar for your body processes! It is going to make you so high! Oh boy, this is going to be so fun!” God said. He was referring to the fact that I could get high on vinegar now, on the spiritual plane I was on. I had done this before. It was okay, kind of like alcohol only lame.
“Is it really going to be that fun?” I asked doubtfully.
“You think? This is going to get you so high, you are going to feel it and it's going to be like heaven in a hand basket! You like the effects before, didn't you? Well, here we go! Woohoo! Wait, wait, wait, almost time, when the clock hits 9:45 you can have some vinegar!”
He kept getting me pumped for the vinegar. I was doubtful that it was going to be that good, but he kept telling me it would be. I was excited, but not really, because I didn't really think it was going to be that big of a deal.
“Okay, it's time! IT'S TIME!! Go, drink!” I went to the kitchen and drank a few gulps of vinegar.
“Now, I have a song for you! The Darkness, I Believe in a Think Called Love!!”
I listened, and tromped about sleepily and energetically as possible. As I tromped, I started to feel the effects. It went through my body and felt good. Kind of good, pretty good. It felt a little bit like painkillers. It was not intense though, and lasted at most about forty-five seconds.
“Okay, that was fun, wasn't it?”
“Not really all that fun, no. It was all right. I thought it would be better.”
“Oh come on it was fun! Now, another song. You are not sleeping until we tell you you can sleep! Get Low, Lil Jon and the East Side Boys!”
I put on this song, but it was the wrong energy.
“Have your guides pick a song. I thought that song was the right mood, but it is not the right energy.”
My guides picked the song. All the while, I was moping.
“God, I'm worried I upset you! You picked a good song for me but it was the wrong energy! I am worried you don't like me anymore. I was mad the song was the wrong energy, you are now embarrassed because your choice was not right! I feel it!”
“Invisible issues, Rachel! I don't care I don't feel your energy!”
“But it was a good song, just not right at the time, I wanted to listen to it because you picked it... I 'm worried now that things aren't cool between us...”
“What did I just say, Rachel? You like my music, I like your attitude, you know what time it is? What normally happens when you get sleep deprived? This isn't the real issue, the real issue is that it's been more than a couple nights since you've had a good night's rest!”
“I think that's what's going on too, but I'm still worried about the song...”
“Invisible issues, Rachel. You will rest soon.”
Okay, this is your guides. We have some reiki for you. Alfred is going to do reiki on you. He is a reiki master.
I sat and stopped talking. I felt whirling energy all around my body, helping the spots that needed help.
Finally, they said it was time to go to bed. I went to bed, drifted off, but still could not sleep. I woke with a start right away as I stopped breathing. Now, I was afraid to drift off again.
God spoke to me. “Don't drift in and out of sleep while you are not on the plane to handle sleep. It is bad for your body to jerk away at the moment of drifting off. If you keep doing it, you will be unable to drift off permanently. You will have to be hooked up to a machine which alters your brain waves, every time you need to go to sleep.”
Okay, we'll tell you what, my guides said. We are ready for you to sleep, your body has given the physiological response which indicates that your body is capable of sleep. But you are not on the right spiritual plane to sleep. We are going to move you to another plane, a very similar plane where you will be able to sleep.
I waited, and waited, and finally, they did it. I was afraid to fall asleep, for fear I would die. They told me it was dangerous, there was a 40% chance I would die if I actually fell asleep on the wrong spiritual plane. I was worried like hell. Finally, I drifted off, with no problems.
Several more sleepless nights past, and nights with only a couple hours of sleep.
At night, I didn't sleep. So, so tired. I had another problem, too. The spirits would get into the bedsheets, the blankets, the pillows, and dwell there, until I made physical contact with them, and then they would enter my body. Once they entered, I could not sleep with them in my body. I made a bed in my old room on the floor and attempted to sleep. So many spirits had entered my body it wasn't even funny!
As I lay there in the dark, Crystal started sending me positive energy, for the first time in years. When someone sends you positive energy after sending you negative energy for so long, it feels really really good. I wanted to jump up and start dancing when she started sending me good energy! I was so tired, but it was such a rush. However, I did not. I listened to the music they told me I could listen to, which would not interfere with the ascension process.
After hours of spirits leaving my body to no avail, the spirits just kept on leaving, like there was an infinite number of them in my body, I wondered what was going on. God told me, to my great joy, that this was yet another round of spirits coming to feast upon my effervescent light. Go downstairs.
As I sat in the family room, trying to sleep, my dad told me he thought it was obnoxious how I slept in random places around the house, in a very annoyed tone. I got so annoyed I punched him in the face. Not really, but I felt like it. I wanted nothing more than to sleep in my own bed, and dream.
It was going to be a long night. No music. No tromping around, that was bad for my body. No coffee, that was also bad for my body. No television, as the music would interfere with the ascension process. And above all, no sleep. I was so sleep deprived, I didn't know what to do. They told me if I fell asleep, my mission was over. If I did anything I wasn't supposed to, the mission was over. I was trapped in a sea of pillows I couldn't touch. If I let a spirit enter me that wasn't supposed to, it was over. They had messed up. The mission had gone wrong. This was not supposed to happen.
God came back to blast the spirits that were already in my body, out of my body. He started blasting them out. Everytime I did, I would breathe deeply very quickly and do a heaving motion. As he was doing it, I imagined that this was some sort of sexual act between me and God, with the heaving and the heavy breathing.
God stopped. “Do I need to blast those thoughts out of your brain as well?”
I was giggling uncontrollably. I still had a crush on God. “No, I'll be fine. I'll try to clear my mind.”
“Because if you don't want me to do this, I don't have to.”
“I do, it's fine.”
“Okay, we'll resume.” He blasted the rest out and I settled down, settled down for a long night of staying awake.
I sat there, and began drifting off before waking with a start, because I had made a decision to stay awake. In those seconds, I had imagined that I was Saliere from Amadeous, a show I had never seen but watched a Simpson's episode about. I had to compose music, one piece after another, in order to prevent myself from falling asleep. Long, tired nights meant long, tired nights of composing music.
Robin Williams came and told me stories, to pass the time. He told me of a girl whom he had sex with, who afterward told her friend he had a small penis. When they saw him the next day, they laughed at him. So he told them if they wanted to sleep with someone else, they can sleep with their friend Michael. Michael was the star quarterback of the football field. When he said this, he laughed, and spit in their faces, and told them they were dumb girls who deserve dick in their mouths day after day, year after year, night after night. I laughed. What a funny story!
Robin told me another story. The two of us were sitting on park bench. He reached down and grabbed my fallopian tube. I screeched. When he was done feeling up my girl parts, he asked for a back rub. I rubbed his genital area, and he screeched. A back rub! Not a makeout session!
When Robin was 18 and a half, his girlfriend went down on him in a subway. When they got to be a little bit older, she was embarrassed by her promiscuity. When she learned he had herpes, which he did not this was just a funny story, she removed her elbows from the entangled positions on his biceps. When they got to be 48 and a half, they had sex again, for old time's sake.
When Robin looked at his mind in the mirror, he saw dark spots. When he rubbed baking soda on the dark spots, they became lighter. So one day, he was rubbing baking soda on his dark spots when he saw his ex's mother in law staring in at him through the window. She looked like she needed help. He went out and helped her out of a bind, and she expected sex as a thank you. He had sex with her, and the next day she gave birth to triplets. One was a dark spot named ego, the other was a dark spot named mania, and the last was a dark spot named expectations.
When Robin looked at himself in a wild mirror of delights, he saw two Robin's and one Millicent Burstrode. When he looks at himself twice in one night, there are three Millicent Burstrodes. When two of them left, he thought he had lost his marbles, but instead regained a sanctity called Millicent Burstrode in a wild carnival ride of death.
I sat and laughed a little bit, but it was hard for me to find anything all that funny. Robin said hey, this is a sleepover! We are hanging out! And showed a picture of himself with a bandana on his head.
Lincoln from elementary school came to talk to me. He reminded me of when we went to Camp Magruder for outdoor school, and the boys got the good cabins with bathrooms. Haha! We got the good cabins! He said, as if it mattered. We laughed, and joked around for awhile.
Morning hit. I was starting to lose touch with my conscious mind. I could speak from the subconscious only, but conscious took more of an effort, I was so sleep deprived. My guides advised me to speak from the conscious mind for awhile, stating out loud only things I knew consciously. I talked about Dan, my favorite Innercept resident for a long time, until I started doing it subconsciously again, and I had to stop myself. It was harder than you would think. While I did so, I worried that my parents would hear me talking to myself and worry, but at the same time, I didn't care.
In the morning, I could not have any coffee. I was told it was bad for my body. I had to stay up several more hours, and then I could sleep. If I didn't sleep right away, I would die, I was told. I was that sleep deprived.
In the morning, it was time to work on the ascension process some more. I paced and listened to the song they told me to listen to. I couldn't touch any cushions. The night before, God had advised me what I could and could not touch. I could not sit on any of the couches besides the couch in the family room, touch any pillows, or use any other blankets besides two. I was stuck in odd places around the house.
I was under a great deal of stress. In the morning, I paced and listened to music that my guides told me to listen to, ascension music. When I was done, I breathed heavily, as this was what happened when one ascended. Funny breathing.
I started wondering if this was some sort of test. Maybe, I was not the most virtuous soul in the multiverse. Maybe, I was just told that, and how good I was in the end depended on whether or not I accepted my superiority as a fact. I thought I must have failed and was the worst soul anywhere, because I accepted it.
Okay, she's getting dioriented! One of my guides said calmly.
Huh? I asked.
When you start thinking funny thoughts like that, it means you are disoriented. You need grounding! Not the same type of grounding as before, there are multiple types of grounding. You need to go outside and touch a tree, put your hand against a tree, and let the energy seep into the ground through your feet.
I did so, and after I got back I felt better.
That reminded me of when I was in the hospital, I told me guides. The existential crisis.
Yep, you are right! That is another type of disorientation that comes from rapidly ascending spiritual planes! It is necessary for Christian enlightenment, however, dark night of the soul. Don't worry about it, it's over now.
So I could have just put my hands together and it would have gone away? I asked my guides. Later, my guides decided the tree was unnecessary, just stand with your hands pressed together.
No, but it would have helped a little bit, now, time to talk to yourself again! You are losing touch with your conscious mind!
I sat, and talked to myself about Caitlin, then Julia, then Izzy. It was almost up. Our time was almost up. I was so upset that the mission wasn't working out the way they had hoped. What else would go wrong, if something as miniscule as this went wrong? Would the guardianship trial go wrong?
I paced some more, listened to some more music. As I paced, I got an image in my mind of Alfred. I saw his face. The pores glistened, beauty came out of every pore, glistened and shimmered, and gave an image of perfection. As if, every pore on his body was in the perfect place. He was perfect. I imagined the same thing happening to my face. And then I imagined the two of us, the perfect couple. We were going to take on the world together.
I kept forgetting what I was doing. What was I doing here that was so important? I kept almost falling asleep, going into a hypnagogic state, and forgetting what was going on. I was under major, major stress, yet it melted away in an instant and I was able to forget all the stress, I was just doing everything I could to keep diligent about all the things I had to remember, like don't touch the soft surfaces, don't eat the wrong foods, keep awake, talk with your conscious mind.
I sat down on the couch, and zoned out. After awhile, Alfred suddenly said something to me.
“Isn't it about time you ate that apple?”
It was very dream-like the way he said it, and it reminded me of a dream I had had a long ass time ago. That exact line was in the dream, after a horrendous struggle. I imagined we were the perfect couple, he was Adam, I was Eve, and I hadn't eaten the apple yet. The implication was that it was part of the plan that Eve eat the apple.
I went over and got an apple and began eating it.
“You might want to save that apple core, it's going to mean a lot to you,” Alfred said, the implication being that I knew how poignant this moment was to me, being that I had had a dream about it before, and I was finally living it out for real. He knew how sentimental I was like that.
Okay, here's the deal Salioness. Nothing went wrong. We lied. Everything went exactly according to plan. You had to be two days sleep deprived to get through that hump in the ascension process, so that's why we wouldn't let you sleep. We finally got to the plane we needed you on for the time being, it's over now. God is going to cast a spell on you so you can touch any of the soft surfaces. Then, you can sleep, if you feel like. It's not important that you sleep right away, you're not going to die if you don't sleep right away, God told you that to scare you because a little bit of fear helps the ascension process. Everything is great. You did great! It's over! We aren't done with the ascension process, we will work on that tomorrow. Go get some rest, if you don't want to sleep, make coffee, it's fine on this plane.
I went to bed, lay down, but as always, when they finally told me it was okay that I slept, I was unable to sleep, because of the physiological change associated with the ascension process. No music, though. I got the spell from God, and sat and watched TV for awhile, before I was to resume the ascension process.
As I was eating some meat, suddenly, I became incapable of swallowing. I continued chewing, but swallowing was exceptionally difficult. I forced myself to swallow the meat with great difficulty, and then I asked my guides why that happened. They said it was a spell. They removed the spell. I was impressed that spells could be that powerful.
