What is that? Your face? It looks like it doesn't understand what faces meant. Funny, hahahha. It doesn't know what it's doing up there. HAhaha. That's not it. It believes it is not what it thinks a face is, because it does not understand what faces do. hahhaha I'm delirious.
When it was over, I went to my friend's house. On the way, I saw images of assholes and butt cracks that belonged to my dad. Over and over again, in and out of my mind, these thoughts went through, perpetrated by Alfred. He was raging pissed. When I asked why he was doing this, he said, “You are mine. You don't fall for someone else. I mean it. You are mine. You are mine. You are mine. I can do whatever I want to you, and if I want to make you miserable, I will make you miserable. You are mine. You are mine. If you ever want out, that's too bad. It's over. We are doing the Pussycat Brawl, and that's final. You can't back out. It is too late. You are mine. You are mine. If you ever decide to betray me, you will never again live to see the day when you are young and beautiful, I will burn you so badly you will never be loved again.”
I sat up by the bus stop, and talked about Michael Jackson. He told me this is what he used to go through, after he was molested by his father. Afterwards, images would go through his mind of the ordeal, and he would be in denial. Did that really happen? Yes, and that was the difference between what I was going through and what he was going through. With me, nothing really happened, just Alfred putting images in my mind. With him, it was something perverted his father had done to him.
The bus arrived, and I got on. As I sat down, the torture suddenly ceased. My guides told me they were subduing him, to stop him from causing more torment. They were sick of this. They kept telling me, over and over again, don't give in to him. This is for his spiritual growth, not yours. You don't have to do anything.
On the bus ride, he came back and started putting images in my head again. He said he was having a tough time. I told him he was a beautiful soul, and tried my best to mean it, and did. He said he was worried he was going too far, but he didn't want to back down on this one. It made him so mad to see me and Robin together, it made him raging mad. He hadn't done anything to Robin, however. He liked Robin still, because they were in a romantic partnership. He expected me to only love him. I asked him if this was hypocritical, and he said, the Pussycat Brawl is hypocritical!
I told him I loved him, and he said, yeah, sure, whatever. I told him I also enjoyed Robin's company, and he said he liked Robin too but not in the way I think I do. He said I wanted him for his Earthly sex appeal, and he wanted him for something else there was no Earth word for. We fought bitterly, and quarreled. When we were done, he kept putting images in my head, several times what he had done before. He started putting images of crap in my head, going into my mouth, my mouth covered with crap, and then, he simulated me being sexually stimulated by this. I was repulsed beyond belief at this. I couldn't believe he would do this to me.
“Can this warp my sexuality, in the same way being molested warps kids sexuality?” I asked my guides.
No, not at all. It will only warp your sexuality if you get off to it. We suggest you don't masturbate until we have this situation taken care of, my guides said to me.
When I got home, I went out to dinner with my dad. I was sitting in the restaurant as Alfred spoke in my ear, subconsciously. He told me he had powers I didn't know about, the power to make me touch my dad against my will, obviously in a sexual way.
As soon as he said that, I immediately got up with force. He laughed and said he was only joking, why don't you sit back down? I didn't know if he was telling the truth or not, I didn't think so, but didn't want to risk it. This was not something I could explain to anyone else besides Erik.
On the way home, Alfred did something to my energy to make it feel like I was sending sexual energy to my dad. He kept warping my energy in his direction, trying to connect it with his in a sexual way, not doing anything, and I only knew this because I asked my guides. He did not have the power to do anything like that. Most souls do not have much power over their silia.
I asked what was happening up there? Down here it's pretty tough. Robin told me they were working hard on disconnecting Alfred, he was not learning. They kept subduing him, and when they subdued him, he was in horrible horrible agony, and the attacks would stop, temporarily. They could only do so for so long without causing permanent damage to the soul. When they stopped, he would start right back up again attacking me. They were working every trick they had in the drawer to help get him away from me.
I told him if he continued, the Pussycat Brawl was off. Stop now, or else it's off. Stop! What means more to you, the Pussycat Brawl, or petty revenge? Do you care about the Pussycat Brawl? We can still do it, unless you don't stop!
He said the Pussycat Brawl meant more to him. He wasn't willing to give that up. He wanted me to bend over backwards for him and give up my relationship with Robin. Do that, or else he'll continue. The Pussycat Brawl is still on or else I will make sure you are attacked brutally when you get back to heaven.
Okay, it's off, I said. I took off the bullet necklace, vowing to never wear it again.
This made him so angry he didn't know what to do with himself. He used the crap one constantly, when that one didn't tickle his fancy anymore, he switched it up with images of me eating my dad's shit. Over and over again, in and out, I walked around the neighborhood. I found the only thing that helped was singing along to the songs I was listening to. It helped a little bit, not a lot. So I walked around the neighborhood constantly, and sang as loud as I could.
It got really bad, to the point where I didn't know what to do. Finally, I decided to make a facebook status.
Please pray for me for I am in a time of crisis.
After I did so, I immediately felt better. Writing facebook statuses releases happy chemicals in my brain, and also, I got good energy from a lot of people about that status. I got a lot of people calling out to me on the spiritual plane, asking me what was going on, is this a joke? No, it's not a joke. I don't write phony prayer requests. It is urgent. I told them it was a spiritual attack.
Bill O'Reilly was watching, subconsciously, because you can do that. A very small, low portion of peoples' awareness can be used to watch other people. He suggested I see a spiritual leader, like a pastor, or a chaplain, to see if there was anything they could do about this. I told him it was useless. This was something that was way outside their realm of understanding, and they could do nothing about it. I just had to wait for my spirit guides to finish unattaching us.
At night, I paced. I couldn't go to bed because of something my guides were doing to me. I was told to stay up all night again, one last time. Alfred asked me if I was really going to give up the Pussycat Brawl. I thought, damn straight, but I asked my silia self anyway.
“You bet it's off, and the whole attached at the hip thing is off too! We are unattaching after this! I can't believe you would do something to me like this while I am on Earth, in the middle of an important mission, just because you are horny! God dammit, I wish I had known this sooner, so I would never have gotten attached to you in the first place! It's off! It's all off!”
Alfred cried. “Baby, it's not off! We can still do it, all of it! I'm just mad! You know I have a temper problem, it's really an issue between us! We need time, help, therapy, whatever... But please, don't back down on the Pussycat Brawl!”
“Oh God, you care more about the Pussycat Brawl than you do about me!” I screamed.
“Yes, but I care about you too! Honest!”
I was beyond disgusted, and Alfred kept flooding my mind with images of poop going down my throat. It was horrible and repulsive. He tried to do other things too, like make me feel hungry when I wasn't, and force me to take me nicotine gum out of my mouth the second I started chewing it because I hated doing that, it wasn't the same later. Dumb shit like that.
It was Sunday, and my mom told me it was time to clean out the cat boxes. I told her there is no way in hell I am doing that this week, I'm not doing that anymore. She went on a little tirade about how selfish and immature I was and how I needed to pull my own, everyone hates cleaning out the cat boxes, you don't hate it anymore than anyone else! I laughed and cried and told her no.
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