You are more than you appear. You have thoughts, feelings, behavioral achievements, people who care about you who will do anything for you. You are a beautiful soul. If I had a soul like you, I don't know what I would do with it. I think I would make a mockery of you, spit on you, do horrible, unfathomable things with you. That's what I'd do, if I had you. And I do. So this is where it stands. The things we will do together, baby. You and I. Together, we are one. So let's get this over with. Let's do this thing. Let's toast to the new age, baby.
Time for more ascension! Go outside, Salioness! We will tell you what song to listen to!
I went outside, and put on the song Drops of Jupiter by Train, as instructed. Midway through I asked, Are we done yet?
No, no, no! We told you not to ask that! You will get docked!
I sighed. Okay. I had known I wasn't supposed to ask, I accidentally asked anyways.
Every so often, I would hear the word “Guides” in my head. I was told it was guides who knew nothing about the ascension process, who wanted a piece of the fame. They wanted to advise me on what song I listened to, to help the ascension process which they knew nothing about. Occasionally, bad guides would intercept, and advise me to listen to a song I knew better than to listen to. I told them no. “No you're not right. No you're not right! That's the song!” But I knew better. It was annoying, all the different guides that were trying to mess with the ascension process.
Heath informed me that there were tons and tons of different souls watching this process. It was very interesting, what the guides were doing in the ascension process. It was a fascinating process.
There were different guides in to help with the ascension process, ones who specialized in spiritual ascension. I was advised not to think of certain things while they went through the process, it irked out the guides. The problem was, on this spiritual plane, it was very difficult to control my thinking. God informed me that I had a wiring problem. It was one of those cruel jokes he was playing on me. Whenever I really did not want to do something, I did it instinctively by accident. Not big things, little things. Like, when they told me, don't think of Elvis pooping on the toilet. All I could think of was Elvis pooping on the toilet, and they had to go through the ascension process anyway because I could not get that image out of my head, they knew better than to try to tell me to think of something else. So when there were things I was not supposed to think about, they would not tell me what they were. This worried me, and I felt like I had to keep my brain very still, for fear that I would accidentally think of one of the things I was not allowed to think about. This is why I absolutely hated the ascension process. I kept asking if there came a time when it really did matter that I kept my brain completely still, and they kept telling me no. Then, there was, and I instinctively knew, because they told me subconsciously, not to think of anything at all during this point of the process. It was very hard, but I did an outstanding job.
We got to a point where I had to say random things, based on how my brain was wired. Absolutely meaningless things, things like, “You're full of shit, Ferrera!” “Happy birthday, Olivia!” And the like.
Finally, I got to the right spiritual plane, after another sleepless night of wandering the house trying to stay awake, only listening to music when my guides told me to. It was torture, but I got through it. Afterward, my guides told me to use my subconscious mind to figure out what food/drinks I needed.
The previous night, I had needed a whole bunch of sugar. I thought I still needed a bunch of sugar. I kept drinking apple cider, because that's what my body told me I needed. I kept drinking, and drinking, and drinking. My mom told me to cool it with the apple cider drinking, but I knew better. I drank some more, because I started shaking uncontrollably, and I thought I needed more sugar. Then, I puked all over the floor, tons and tons of puke. My mom got pissed, screamed, threw a hissy fit, and cleaned it up.
Later, I found out, I needed callibrating. I needed a micronutrient in apple cider, but it wasn't a big deal, and the sugar was making me shake uncontrollably because I drank too much of it.
I went back into the computer room to lie down for some spirit work. We looked at a time in my life, back in college, when I was living at the dorms. I reexamined each of the memories I had of that campus, from different parts of the campus. My guides said I was doing work on myself, to remove the bad energy from that time period. I thought it had been good energy, but my guides told me, I was more miserable than I realized. Especially at the first dorm, living there with Brandon. As I went over it in my mind, my guides told me he was out of my life for good, no use paying any attention to him.
Okay, one more thing, my guides said.
Okay, but I am coming out of the altered state! I said.
It's not important, but... Early on, when you were living at Bernard, you used to think about something when you were eating food. This is something we advise never to think about while eating food, as it irks out the spirit guides.
Ooh! What is it? I have to make sure never to think about it!
Normally, you never think about it at all, especially not while eating. We are not going to tell you, though, because if we tell you, you will make a point, whether you want to or not, to think about it when you are eating. It's the wiring problem, you know.
Aww, fuck! But I wanted to know!
It's okay, it's not a big deal. We are not going to do it because you are out of that state already.
Chapter 89
People! You are my friends! Who is Rachel Zuhl? Is she an idea? A person? Or an intelligent design flaw?
I was on the right spiritual plane now. It was time to stabilize on the spiritual plane I was on. I was advised that for the next day or so, I was not to listen to any music. That included music on TV, or music in stores I went to. Which meant, no energy drinks, because the stores I went to played music.
I packed a bag of milk and coconut water, for I would need quite a bit of these things. I packed a book, but ended up not reading it. I hung out nearby in an office building, because it was open to the public. I couldn't stay at home, because we had people cleaning the house, and the sound of the vaccuum cleaner would cause me to ascend. Not only that, but if someone was watching TV, I wouldn't be able to escape the noise.
I came back in the middle of the day to get something to eat. When I came back, the door was locked. My mother had locked me out. I knocked profusely on the door. My mom answered, and she was pissed at me for tracking mud across the carpet, when the house had just been cleaned.
I was mad as hell at her. How dare she interfere with the ascension process? I didn't care about some mud on the floor, I needed nutrients so I needed to get in the house! There were more important things than mud on the carpets. I almost got in a fight with her, and I would have screamed at her normally, had it not been for the fact that heated conversations will cause you to ascend. So I tried to remain civil, and I quickly left again. I was fuming, but I kept it under control.
After a boring afternoon of hanging out at the office building, I went home. It was okay now, to hear music on the television. It was okay to be around my parents too, as long as we didn't get in any heated arguments. Things were fine. I made it to the plane I needed to be on, and was stabilizing.
There was a different kind of spirit gathering around me. They were nasty, nasty energy spirits. They were very thin, funny shaped bodies, with horizontal stripes on their bodies. I asked my guides what those spirits were about.
“Those are the spirits that inhabit people who beat their wives, or husbands, but usually wives. They egg them on and tell them to beat them as hard as they can. They are nasty, nasty spirits.”
I was sitting in the family room, when Mount Rushmore came up behind me.
“What's that?” I asked my guides.
It's the spirit of the constitution. It wants to enter your heart, my guides told me. Let it enter.
I opened myself up spiritually, and the constitution entered my heart. As it did so, it informed me that my belief about gay adoption being good was constitutional, but immoral, because it made kids mess up to grow up with two parents of the same sex. Another belief it said was unconstitutional was the belief that men should pay for women on dates.
“We are one, you and I. We are now part of the United States of America and we will make it to the top!” the constitution said to me.
Then, we went upstairs. As I was sitting there, a spirit came to me and told me to hush. It said it bothered him how I talked to myself all the time, it was unnatural, unnecessary, and unneeded. What I needed was good rest and exercise to help overcome this bout with delusions. More medication too. And it handed me a pill of methaline.
I scoffed and hissed, “Get out of my sight, spirit goblin!” and it fled with anxiety.
I was watching the O'Reilly Factor when a bird chirped my name outside. I perked up my ears. When it continued to chirp the alphabet, I knew it was not a bird, but my spirit animal. I turned and looked it straight in the eye. It looked at me back, and smiled. I said, “spirit animal, what do I need to do now?” The bird looked at me and said, “Remove yourself from this situation. The hour of moving out is upon you. Wait for it, wait for it... Now. Move.” I got up and made myself a sandwich.
I walked around outside. I was extremely uncomfortable, with the conscious/subconscious mind flip. It was a drag, trying to pretend that my thoughts weren't all over the place. I kept worrying that I would think the wrong thing, and it would make a rift between the conscious and subconscious, and there would be a big issue. I was worried about breaking my brain.
“Remove the radishes,” I heard, as I went off on a funny train of thought. Ahhh!!! Something was wrong with my brain!! It was doing something extremely funny!!
Relax, Beeb, Alfred said, chortling. That was me!
Okay, I sighed. I just had to make sure not to think any of the bad thoughts, or else my brain would break and I would be in a coma for the rest of my life. It was so hard, worrying about every little thought, that I didn't know what to do. I knew there were a few ways you could break your brain, with the subconscious/conscious mind flip. One of them was by getting the conscious mind mad at the subconscious, or vice versa. That was not an easy one to avoid. Sometimes, my subconscious mind would lie to the conscious, for it's own good. Then, the conscious mind would find out, and get steaming pissed.
I discovered another way that it could potentially happen. At one point, I was tempted to refer to my subconscious mind as a thing. “I am the subconscious mind.” I alerted my conscious mind immediately, because the subconscious mind knows things like this, that that was a no-no. Do not refer to the subconscious mind as a thing, it is worse than getting them angry at each other, the effects are more long-lasting. Harder to do, yes. But worse, also yes.
I went to Trader Joe's with my mom. As I rode in the car, I felt a very unnatural feeling wave of calm envelope my mind, like I had just taken a powerful sedative drug. It didn't make me tired, it just made me more relaxed. Wow, I thought. That is some powerful shit. These guides must be for real.
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