Could be Enlightenment, Could be Brain Rot, Could be Endorphin Rush

I remembered my dream last night, was the thing. It was about driving around a parking lot with a teacher, let's just leave it at that, and it was a parking lot in paradise. That was my dream last night. The weird part was that it was therapeutic to drive just a little bit up and down over the curb. It took seven years for it to occur to me, when Alfred says, "YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS PART OF SPIRIT SEX RIGHT HERE!" That's a part I DON'T like. What, specifically, was the context here, where I figured this out? Actually, I was at a restaurant, sitting in the bar, pregnant, and I intended to order a non-alcoholic beverage. And I did too, but the thing that was bothering me was bad energy. Does the guy next to me seriously know I'm pregnant, and he is pre-emptively sending me bad energy for drinking? This is sort of conundrum, because no I DID NOT believe it, it just seemed like it, however... Actually, it isn't all that WEIRD, really, for a stranger to know who I am in the area, or even anywhere, but especially not in the area, and I said online that I was pregnant. So... Just something I was thinking about at the time, one of those little "Zippy things," or whatever. Anyway, the unborn baby is a virtuous soul. He's in heaven now, in case you didn't get that, I had an abortion. Yes, it made me very sad, however I don't get hung up on it as much as you might think, actually, THAT SITUATION WAS GOING SOMEWHERE BAD. I do not regret it at all, it was the right decision, and my guides were just fucking with me with the aborted babies become dark souls bullshit. I'm sure God is powerful enough to do something about that shit, if it was really that painful, numb the pain or SOMETHING in that situation, wow what a wimpy God who couldn't do something like that. Anyway, so what was the thing Alfred and everyone always said? "You don't know how much we love making you feel embarrassed about your own virtue!" No, you don't understand what we mean... It occurred to me though. At the restaurant, pregnant, with the guy at the table next to me sending me bad energy for being in a bar, or whatever. What does that mean, embarrassed for your own virtue? I still have no idea, but what occurred to me was, there is some sort of problem that early virtuous souls have that they make fun of you for, THEY don't have that problem and they think it is a funny problem, is all. "OH SHIT!" I said in the presence of the unborn baby. "I don't want to do that!" Then the baby got upset, what horrific thing did Mommy just realize? "This is a whiny Mommy concern. There has been a spaghetti feed (must be hungry if I mention spaghetti) of misinformation, I am perfect, just young. Actually... It might be that... Virtuous souls have an embarrassing problem other souls don't have. The other souls love doing this. What else? Actually, the thing about this is, you grow in these sexual activities as well, so making fun of us for whatever this problem is CORRECTS THE PROBLEM, IN TIME. So, phh... Just something I hadn't thought of before because this is probably something really annoying. And now the baby is all upset because he is worried there is something unsavory about something I am thinking, and he doesn't know what it is. Anyway, what was the other part that Alfred loved about spirit sex? Actually, this is desecrating virtuous souls and it is DARK spirit sex here, okay. It's a line from a song, which reminds him of a part of spirit sex. "Hold your head up. Keep your head up. Moving on." It's from Eurythmics Sweet Dreams. He always loved that particular line of the song. And the other thing? I might publish my memoir series. Yes. There's something weird about the song "Drop the World" by Lil Wayne/Eminem. It's a personal reference to my life. It's like, you got to be kidding me. That's what I think now. I can't actually listen to the song anymore, at least now, because it was a very significant personal reference to me and the unborn baby. Eventually... I might though. The other thing is, the baby's favorite song was, "Get Out The Way" by Mother Mother.