What a Shit Show!

What a boy! I said to him.

What a girl! he said to me.

We kissed and held hands. Then, we died inside, thinking of all the things we could do to each other and not get caught in this place.

I looked around the barn. It was empty except for a hay pile. I went to the hay pile and sat down. While we were making out, a barn owl decided to throw up on my face.  I screamed and ran down the barn and ran through the door.

He followed me. "Josephine!" he yelled.

I screamed. He was chasing me now. I was so embarrassed I didn't know what to do. I ran as fast as I could to get away from him. At last, I reached a clearing.

I screamed. There was a massive object in the center. It was an icosahedron. I stared at the bright colors and whirling energy around it. Matthew came up behind me.

Josephine? What is this?!

I don't know.

Let's take it for a spin, shall we?

We both got inside and decided to enter the space mobile. As we entered the space mobile, time slowed down and stopped. We decided to make out here.

What's going on? Matthew said.

I have a problem with my mind! I screamed as loud as I could.

Suddenly, we decided to make out again! And again! And again!

WHAT'S GOING ON?!

I DON'T KNOW!!! I screamed and made out with Matthew over and over again.

We ran out of saliva and decided to call it quits. I was sitting back, trying to catch my breath when I caught Matthew giving me a funny look.

What are you doing? I asked him.

Making out with you with my mind.

AHHHHH!!!!! I screamed. DON'T DO THAT!!!

Suddenly, the icosahedron started spinning. We decided it was too much and wanted off, but there was no way out! We were trapped!!!

What a day! I screamed and gave him a blow job.

That's what I'm talking about! He yelled at the top of his lungs.

I stopped and the semen disintegrated in my mouth from the unusual barometric pressure. Suddenly, there was a flash and we were outside the icosahedron in a field with animals all around, both completely naked.

I'm worried, I told Matthew.

I'm not! he yelled.

We danced a dance of whimsy without making a sound in our minds, and then my parents found us alone and helpless. We got in the car and left, they gave us both a blanket to sit under and we were told a story of my little sister's dance recital. Afterward, we got out of the car and ate food at a diner before throwing up in the restroom. As we both sat in the same stall of the restroom, throwing up over the same toilet Matthew asked me if I was happy. I told him no. I will never be happy again.

And we never were.