There was a man named Heeley. He enjoyed poking fun at women. One day, he said to a gal, "Nice toots." She looked at him, and sprayed his name on her forehead. When he said to another girl, "Nice chompers." She looked at him, and woke up next to him in bed. Then, he looked at her, wrote his name on her forehead, and said, "You're my girl," in jest. Then, the two of them wed. Not because he wanted to, but because of obligation due to pregnancy. The child grew up to be a hooligan, and broke into large shopping malls, spray painted his name everywhere, and wrote in black ink on a woman's bicep, "Big tits sink ships." Then, he exploded from over excursion. The next day, during the autopsy, they discovered that it wasn't the right type of child for the woman to be having, it was actually an elven child.
Heeley is a man who enjoys pretentious banter with unattractive women. The women like him because they were so ugly, no other men wanted them. This man represents a certain unnamed church. When the man wakes up next to the woman, he realizes he has made a mistake of epic proportions. When the child turns out not to be his, he understands the meaning of the term, wake and bake, because he was high out of his mind and it warped fetal development.
There once was a man named Elmo. His daughter had a case of the chicken pox. A man in a dark coat said, give her this, and it will be gone. It was a prescription pill called Lexapro. When she took it, it healed the wounds, but at a great cost. She had lost her spring in her step. When she walked, she dragged her feet. Now, it was time to go off the drugs, when she stopped taking them, she became hypomanic, and the man in the dark coat appeared again, and offered him some invega for her bipolar disorder. When she took it, she developed a nasty habit of forgetting things. The man in the dark coat appeared again, and offered her some Ativan. Then Elmo asked where all this was going, and the man in the dark coat said, "we need to rid her of this disease in her mind, her belief in the mystical life of spirits. It is the root of all her troubles." Then, she came up, and told him that she did not believe in spirits anymore. And he said, "Good girl, now, here is a pill for your lying problem." And she did not take the pill, but she pretended to. When she swallowed, she pretended to think only of happy thoughts, for her mind was so erupted in chaos, she could hardly think straight. He leaned against her, threw the pill at her mouth, and she swallowed it in an instant. As she did, she submitted to the whim of everyone else's will. She went on to become a teacher, and taught from textbooks about religion.
There once was a man named Elloy. He enjoyed the finer things in life. When he woke up one morning, it had all disappeared. He asked the clouds, Why? Why did it all go away? The clouds responded, your ideas of luxury are not rooted in reality. You need to enjoy your own being, and stop fantasizing over treasures that do not bring true happiness. Elloy cried, and cried. Then he got up, and breathed life into a woman. Her name was Regina. Regina coughed up a bracelet, and with it, she entranced him in a love spell. They got married, had babies, the kids grew up, and Regina and Elloy lived long lives together. Still, Elloy was not happy. He told Regina, why do I love you so? You are so not my type. She told him, it's the bracelet, my dear, the bracelet. She showed it to him, and when he gazed upon it, he enjoyed something about it. The idea of it belonging to him. So he told her, no more, sweet lady, no more. I will own this bracelet, and it will be mine for all of eternity. So he kissed her one last time, got out a dagger, and stabbed her in the heart. When he did so, he keeled over and died as well, as the power of the bracelet was two hearts beating as one.
Regina represents pacifists in the world today. She believes in love at all costs, love, love, love!! Elloy represents materialists like James Randi, who fixate on value in atoms and particles and physical items, not on things that can not be touched. When she understands why she loves him, he does not reciprocate, because he does not understand what love is. Love is a mystery. We understand why she knows him, because she is in love with his mind. But he does not know why he loves her, because she is a wretched conniving little brat that knows nothing of what truly is. When she shows him the bracelet, she aims for true love, not fake love. When he stabs her, he dismisses her ideas as fabrication, but he does not understand, he knows so much about atoms, but does not understand himself, and what he truly is.
There was a girl named Henri. She existed without people in her life, until she met a girl named Fillippe. When they locked eyes, Fillippe fell unconscious. When she came to, she was surrounded by townsfolk. "What happened?" asked Fillippe. "Why, you fainted!" But Fillippe knew better. Her spirit had been drugged by Henri. Now, she had 8 weeks to live. When she understood this, she began to hunt and gather fruit and small animals to be sacrificed in a large supper, not for her, but for Henri. When Henri sat down to eat, she pretended to eat but didn't really. When Henri got up at the end of the meal, she fell down, dead. Fillippe rushed over and fanned her body with a napkin. "Why, what have you done here?" the townsfolk asked. Fillippe burst into tears. "I was trying to save her life! She was going to die of overexposure to the elements if she didn't eat this meal, and she chose not to!" The townsfolk withered away and dispersed. Fillippe took a vile out of her pocket, and gathered Henri's hair. With it, she cooked a stew, fed it to a calve, and the calve grew up and bore several herds of small calves. The calves went on to save Christmas. The end.
This girl, Henri, represents the dark arts. Fillippe was interested in her, not out of desire for friendship, but out of lust for a companion. The meal she was collecting for Henri was not to appease, but to become like her, so that she would not have to succumb to the drudgery of keeping her own company. When Henri does not eat the meal, she chooses not to accept offerings from petty mortals, but dies because of the aroma. The hair that Fillipe takes from Henri represents the ideas that she collected from her, in passing, and she uses it to feed the calve, which grows into a cow who births a small herd of calves who derive meaning from this tradition.
There once was a man named elie. When he went down to the salon, he idolized the women there. When he went home, he idolized his man, Charles. When he went to the salon one day, a woman named ellerie talked dirty to him. He told her she was pretty, but unappealing, in a sarcastic way. She slapped him, hit him, stomped on him, and sprayed him with manure. When elie came home that day, Charles noticed a funny smell. Eww... What's that? Elie told him it was the dawning of a new era, for he no longer needed approval seeking women to talk to him to feel complete. Why? The manure was rank, but not as bad as the smell of the gasoline of the cars.
The idea behind this parable is, girls
do not play well with men of different ideas of friendship. Men who
tread on their heartstrings do not need that kind of verbal abuse,
however.... when girls don't play fair, guys understand why they do
not need to release toxic waste into the atmosphere, via the
spiritual energy of negativity towards women. Another thing about
this parable is, the girl was a hermaphrodite.
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