People I Despise

First off, I don't despise very many people at all. Here is just a list of categories of people I look down upon, because I am in a loathing mood.

1. Women. I despise women. Not because women are at all bad (maybe it's my mom, hint hint). But I hate the women stereotypes. Shallow. Dumb. Always shopping. Obsessions with very particular beauty products. Weight obsessed. Food obsessed. Hating their bodies. Despising sex. Easily offended by mysoginistic stuff. Weak. Emotional. Supersticious. Really dumb, believing in things like astrology and numerology. That's the worst one.

2. Work Out Fanatics. YAY!!!! I spent 5 hours at the gym today!!! GO ME!!! YAY!!!! Let's sit around and google work out tips and calorie facts all day long!!! I am a health nut!!! All I care about is my weight!!! Time to go to the gym for the second time today!!! I am on a roll!!!

I know, I know, I know. The reason I hate this one is because it used to be me, and still sometimes is to a lesser extent than it used to be. It is easy to get ferociously obsessed with fitness. It's not a good thing, baby. It's not a good thing. It's bad for your body to work out all the time. YES, IT IS!!! It's bad for your mental health too. People of the opposite sex don't dig it. You are shallow. You lack emotional depth. Your lives are meaningless. The thing I hate the most is when you are in it, you think you are doing so, so well. But you are not.

3. Bipolar People. This is a mean one. I don't have any problem at all with bipolar people themselves. But I have a problem with the notion of what bipolar people are supposed to become. They have to submit to taking their daily antipsychotics. Then, become morbidly obese because the medications leave them with insatiable hunger. They get acne all over their faces. Their lives lack luster, as the medications dull their moods. They live a dull, dreary existence.

4. Atheists. This one is too easy. "Tough luck baby, I know you want to believe you are more than just a meaningless blob of molecules, but, tough, both you and I know you ain't, so quit denying it." No, that's not what I believe, because I know better. You don't understand what I believe because you don't know my life. I understand what you believe. I believed that when I was younger, when I was too young to know better. The other thing I hate is when people say they used to believe in God or the supernatural, but as you get older, you begin to realize this stuff isn't true. And they say it like it is a universal statement. Sorry bitch, not true for me, not true for most people. Quite the opposite.

5. Evangelicals. I enjoy them very much. But they lack a fucking clue. You don't convert anyone standing on street corners spewing propaganda. It sounds good to you, but do you know how it sounds to the people you are spewing to? Ignorant as all fuck. Everything you say sounds horribly deluded. You are so far out of the ball park of what normal people relate, you sound like a fucking idiot. Try perusing and arguing on an online chat forum to get an idea of what normal/painfully dumb but in sync with reality people believe.

6. Gamers. I hate the idea of people who sit around and play computer games all day. The reason is... That's what I used to do!! Do something meaningful with your life that doesn't leave you feeling useless. Save it for every once in awhile. Creative projects.

7. Adderall Junkies and the like. Actually, that's not what I meant. It's people who think, "IT'S OKAY BECAUSE A DOCTOR SAID SO ONE ONE ONE!!!" I remember reading online once, "well a doctor would probably prefer I took a prescription dose of adderall every day than smoke!" "WOW!!! Adderall really boosts creativity!!!" Sure it does, sweetheart. And sure, the doctor wouldn't know any better. But wait until you are 27, have dark spots in the mind where you are horribly embarrassed by things that didn't even you embarrass you a little, laughing your head off, over and over and over again, over things that should have been only funny the first time, showing early symptoms of Parkinson's disease (YES!), and having dull, dreary moods every times you are off the meds, or every evening when the drugs are wearing off. Yes, Adderall does all that, sweety. And I'm only 27. Just wait until you turn 40. I also hate people who thing SSRI's are okay because a doctor prescribed. Not quite as bad, but similar scenario.

8. Dumb Rap Artists and the People Who Listen To Their Music. My sister has CD's of this music, which she says she doesn't like but listens to in the car. Amelodic beats that drive me insane. Lyrics that talk about drinking, smoking dope, boobs, tush, sex. I don't mind when intelligent people sing about sex. I just hate it when dumb people sing about sex. It is the only thing they understand. And not very well. I don't have to say too much about this particular topic, though people understand.

9. People Who Bash Religion All The Time. Yeah bitch, you don't understand it. I got really sick of the God page on Facebook. I liked it, but it had annoying repetitive arguments about atheist superiority that got old and weren't true. In general, though. I don't use the same arguments other Christians use. Take the time to understand what I am saying before responding and assuming I am saying what you think most Christians say, Joey. I don't believe what you think I believe. I don't believe what you believe either. Religion is fun. It is what you make of it. It's not the whole, "Do this or burn!" like most people come to believe growing up in this world, what with the street corner people.

10. Body-Shamers. It's usually women. Men do it just as much, with women, but... they are more realistic, and have their reasons, usually. If they say a woman isn't attractive, it's because they don't find her attractive. For women, it's like, oh she's so fat... then I lose a few pounds... Oooh... she's SCARY skinny! I see it on the internet too. I used to receive newsfeed posts from this one site, which I never subscribed to, showing before and after pictures of women who had taken on exercise routines. First off, it was totally unrealistic, "Week one... Frumpy women. Week three... Total babe!" But anyway, a bunch of women responded, and they are like, she is SCARY skinny now! She looked much better before! And you are like, actually, she looked WAY better afterward! You people are just jealous! Anyway.

11. Slut Shamers. I hate teenage girls and women who are like, "Oh, that woman left the bar with a man! She is so like a total slut!" Get over it, prude. Mind your own business.

12. Bitchy Women. Women who think it's empowering to bitch people out because they deserve it. So they throw a hissy fit, not knowing the full story, or that they are the ones in the wrong. They operate under the assumption that there are too many dumb people in the world (which there are, and it's them), and that these people need to be shown a lessen. And bitching people out, insulting them and appearing like a raving lunatic is what strong women do.

My Mom

So, I would like to say, my mom bugs the shit out of me.

I live in a room upstairs in my parents house. It is not my room. It gets ravages by my mom on a daily basis. I am not allowed to have any supplements that were not prescribed by a doctor, or they get taken away by my parents.

I am sick of this. I don't give a fucking shit. So I buy some. Gingko biloba, with some others. Both my parents talk to me about it, lecture me, plead and cry. My mom, the nosy little bitch, found a receipt in my room. They told me those supplements were very, very alarming and could lead to a relapse. All of them.

Well, then I go to the naturopath, and he said the only one that could potentially interfere with my meds is the gingko biloba. What I took from it was, it probably wouldn't, but he wanted to err on the side of caution. The other ones didn't really matter. Which makes me wonder. Why did my parents make a big deal out of it? Because they wanted to. They want to think everything I am about to do is going to lead to my mental collapse.

It makes me a nervous wreck. I get nervous every time I hear either one of them near my room. Not anymore, but I did for awhile. Paranoia, paranoia. I don't even know what I'm scared of. Just stay the fuck out. I need my space. That room is my space. I don't need my mom coming in and picking up the floor. Like I give a shit if it is dirty. I clean out the dirty dishes, not on a daily basis, but in a timely fashion. So stay the fuck out.

I get annoyed when my mom tells the doctors my latest "relapse" was caused my excessive caffeine consumption and nicotine gum use. Fragile, fragile brain! No it wasn't. It wasn't a relapse. I'm a mystic, baby. I am so glad I finally have a word to describe what I am. Before I thought it was just a fun-filled splooge fest of paranormal/psychological experiences.

I will never be well enough to leave this house, according to what they think. I will acquire a menial service labor position, folding bedsheets or waiting tables, and that will be the living I make for the rest of my life. Excuse me, but I am way, way too intelligent for that, thank you very much. I am going to channel spirits, write books, do other things of an spiritual energetic nature, be famous, go far. I can't concentrate worth shit right now. I am not going to live off welfare for very long.

My mom gets pissed when I buy energy drinks. She thinks they will lead to some sort of relapse. Never have before, Beev. I have explained to her again and again. The only time when caffeine affected me negatively was when I was on Geodon. It was something about the way these two drugs interacted. I don't get that on the medications I am on now. And even so, an energy drink every so often didn't cause me any problems. It was only when I drank something like, say, an energy drink, a full pot of coffee, a couple cups of tea, a liter of mountain dew, and a diet coke. That was enough to cause some adverse reactions. That is my idea of extreme caffeine intake. Not one energy drink. And only on Geodon. I can drink all that now with no adverse reactions.

My favorite thing ever was when I dated the scientologist. That was my favorite thing ever. Not because I liked him a lot, which I did, I did, but because of the way it scared my mom. Here I was, in prescription drug paradise. Innercept, where there motto is, "When in doubt, overmedicate." Or "With each resident, medicate the shit out of them so they are too apathetic to complain about the shitty program." And everywhere you go, every coffee mug, stapler, hand-held razor, bathroom scale, pen, toothbrush, autobiographical account of Innercept, everything has a prescription drug name printed boldly on it. Like it is a walking, breathing advertisement for prescription drugs. And I was pissed about this. And I was dating a Scientologist, which freaked the shit out of both of my parents, especially my mom. "OH NOES!!!!111111one1111!! He might convince her she doesn't need to be heavily sedated all the time!"

And I loved the effect it had on her, because instead of making her angry, which it did, but she didn't react by getting angry. She reacted my getting worried, whiny, mopey, sad, self-pitying. It scarred her, it did. She didn't know what to do. So my parents pulled me out of the program (WOOT WOOT), took me home, let me do the fuck what I wanted. I got a much better psychiatrist, one that prescribes drugs, but hates to. And he said, "Hey, you are over medicated, over institutionalized, maybe you would do better if you weren't on so many fucking medications!"

So I went off some of the worrisome medications. Still, I liked the scientologist. We texted constantly. But my mom was still paranoid, paranoid, paranoid. Sure I read her email on occasion. Not anymore though. I see she leaves it up. I don't dare look. Not because I respect her or her privacy... because it is always nothing more than an upsetting reminder of everything I already know. No new information. But it depresses me to read that she still thinks that stuff. So I don't bother anymore.

Anyway, I read her email one day, last year, and I found out she was sneaking in to my room and reading my texts. I was upset for a number of reasons, one of them was the shall we say graphic nature of some of the texts I sent him... but also for the obvious reasons, I needed privacy.

Anyway, so we went back to Innercept to clean out my apartment in January of last year. And I was pissed about that, but I didn't say anything to my mom. And then we were having one last meeting with my so-called therapist, and at the end the hands me my journal, which I never gave her, it was my own private journal of stuff I didn't intend to share with anyone. Weird thoughts I had, mostly dreams, things that embarrassed me a little bit, but it was mostly just the manner in which I treated the journal, as a safe place where no one would judge the stuff I had to say. And I knew she had read it. Innercept found it in my room, gave it to her, and she read it.

I actually have gotten over hating her for it. All the way, all the way. I know her on the spiritual plane and like her. A lot. I realize now that it wasn't her fault, it was the fault of other people at Innercept. Someone found it in my room, gave it to her, and told her to read it. Because at that point, at home, I was overtaken by a heavy bout of mysticism, and was acting funny, and they wanted to make sure I had no plans of self-harm, and was taking no drugs. Which is not a good excuse. That does not waive my right to privacy.

Anyway, I found this out, and I wanted to scream. So there were these two things together, at the same time. My mom, and Lea. So I am standing at my apartment, while my parents are helping me clean it out... and I suddenly go into an altered state of rage. I don't have anger problems, I don't get angry very often. But when I do get angry... Man, I have problems. And now I was angry. So I go into an altered state, and start charging at my mom, with a malice in my eyes, holding my arms in a threatening fashion... like I was about to attack her. And I thought I was going to, until I got right up to her and my inhibitions started to take control. But I could see the fear in her eyes. I scared the crap out of her. And she asked me what was wrong, and I told her. You read my texts. You have no right to do that.

Anyway, that's what happened. Both my parents hate the scientologist. My mom is more traumatized by it. The thing that bugs me about it is, my mom thinks everything about me is ever so fragile. Like, this guy is going to come and change my firmly held beliefs about everything. Here I was, calmly accepting I have a mental illness, and wanting help, calmly accepting that I needed to be on medication for the rest of my life. And in comes the scientologist, and warps my view of the world, and my mind is so fragile, I can't hold my own in any of these situations.

I never really believed it was a mental illness. But there comes a point when you are like, if that's not what it is, then why the fuck did all this stuff happen, for no apparent reason? I couldn't see a reason, at the time. I never thought the medication helped. But there comes a time when you relax and submit, submit to the daily raping in the mouth, anus, and vagina.

There have been other times where my mom refuses to let me do things, see people, because she is worried that they might warp my fragile view on reality. Psychics and the like. Because they always say, ahhh, your mental state if fine. You have had some spiritual things happen to you. That's what Renee said. *Gasp!* That's what Renee said! But here I go not remembering things correctly, because Renee is my mom's trusted psychic, and everything she says is true.

I don't even want to get into that though. The whole issue with psychics and this.

My mom takes pleasure in worry. That's why I don't like her. She needs to get my mind off me. I told her once, it's okay to worry about yourself for a change. There is a lot to worry about there.

Atheist Perspectives

So, my last atheist post made it big on reddit. I was overjoyed when I discovered this. Finally, my work would get notice.

I figured it meant something. I had an opinion on the matter of God that was a tad bit different from what they were used to hearing. That's why it got noticed.

Then come the comments. This is what I am talking about with the atheist idea of intellectual superiority. Let me first say, not all of them were bad. I appreciate people taking the time to comment, to give me something to comment on, but most of all, to give me an idea of what atheists would think of this post. None of their opinions sway me at all in my opinions. But, it was fun.

Then we get the arrogant atheists. They tell me not to write stuff like this on the internet again. Excuse me, this is the internet. I can write whatever the fuck I want to on my blog.

Now, a tangent. I want to respond to the guy whom I told I just make things up and write them here. It should be common knowledge that I am not an authority on most things I talk about here, what I come up with are theories. Writing this blog is an intellectual and spiritual process. It's a space for thinking. I don't believe all the things I say here. Some of them are tongue in cheek. Most of them are not, though, but this is not a scientific blog so you don't come here expecting hard facts. You come here expecting my insightful opinion on such matters.

Anyway, the ones that annoy me, kind of, the atheist remarks, are the ones about humans being nothing but matter. Now, I know better. I know there is spiritual energy. I know the way tai chi effects me. When I first started doing it, after each practice I was left with this phenomenal solid feeling. Tai chi is horrible exercise, not strenuous at all, hardly even exercise. However, it does something else. It's an amazing practice for those who need it. I can feel the movement of the chi.

And I know what atheists will say, oh, it was something else about your body's physiological response to the exercise, it was psychological. However, I get an inkling from it that's not the case. I know I wasn't expecting it to do this. I know it wasn't a normal physiological response to exercise. It was something else entirely, and it was something amazing. So, I get an inkling that there is more to it than that. It involves spiritual energy.

I also believe it from the way homeopathy sometimes effects me. I can feel the effects immediately afterwards, or while I am taking a homeopathic remedy. Of course, atheists will say the same thing, it is psychological. But it isn't. There you go.

So I get sick of the bleak atheist view. The view that we as people don't matter. Sure, we don't matter a lot. There are so many of us, what does a single one matter? More like, the concept of people. Why did all of this amazing stuff come about from the simple bleakness of atoms?

I am losing my train of thought. I have more to say on this topic.

Atheists Have Another Jesus

So, I would like to take another moment to speak fruitfully about atheists. Atheists have their perks. They aren't as dogmatized as the religious folk. But they think blindsidedly about how things aren't really because they don't know that some things aren't what they want to think they are.

The idea of God. This is the concept atheists don't get. They think an old man in the sky, with no explanation whatsoever, he just does everything. Why did this happen? God did it. Why did the Earth come into existence? God wanted it. Why are we here? God did it.

It is an anthropomorphized concept, making God an old man in the sky. Just like we anthropomorphize the wind, the rain, the mountains, the rivers, everything, in some religions. That's what religion is. That was what I used to think to, until I got smart and realized that wasn't what it is about.

The belief in God is about the belief in consciousness. It is like saying, what sets us apart from this rock here? What sets us apart from that star out there? What sets us apart from that meteor, or inanimate object.

We have consciousness.

What is consciousness? Atheists don't like to think about it. A meaningless construct of the human brain that serves evolutionary purposes.

I say, that spark of consciousness is something more than that. It goes beyond the DNA of human beings to be an all encompassing, very powerful concept that is more important than anything else in the universe.

And I would go so far to say, that spark of consciousness, any spark of consciousness, self-awareness, not a human, not a mammal, not anything like that, pure consciousness, essence, spirit, was there at the creation of the universe, and helped will the universe into existence.

Because it is that important, consciousness is. It is real, it is good, it is everything. Without it, there is nothing.

That is all God is to me. No, you're right, it's not, but that's all the atheist/theist argument is to me. I don't give a shit about the Christianity argument. It was right for me. I'm not going to try to force it on anyone else anymore. Because I don't believe it is right for everyone. But I don't believe the universe is lifeless matter, lacks essence, and that we should exalt the dead, barren physical over the things that actually matter, which are the things that think and feel. That's the twisted, wonky atheist reasoning.

You're stardust, man. You're stardust. You are nothing but physical atoms.

That's what I hear day in and day out from atheists and I don't buy it. I don't buy it. I don't buy it. What a funny world you live in where you tell yourself you don't matter, only the things you can touch with your hands do. And that's all I have to say about that.

Organ Meat Christianity and Some Other Things Like Friendly Intelligent Happy Things

So, I wanted to discuss the topic of Christian persecution.

People say, Christian persecution is a myth. Atheists say this. Because atheists like to think that they are the ones that are persecuted.

Sure, they are. But not as much as Christians are.

Atheists get blindsided. At the bus stop, people come up to them, handing them pamphlets, saying, convert or burn in hell! Jesus loves you! You are a heathen! BAAAHHH!!! You are rotten atheist scum and you need to repent repent repent!

And so atheists j abble bitterly about this, and they forget. They forget that they do the same thing to Christians. They say things like, oh, the bible says this, the bible says that. Follow exactly what the bible says because you are supposed to do. That is what you are taught in bible school.

Yeah, Mr. Atheist Fucker, you don't understand the bible. You don't have to follow the bible exactly to be Christian.

I don't tell you how to do your job, you don't tell me how to do mine.

I actually follow my own rules entirely. I don't care what the bible says. I am Christian, I enjoy Buddhism, the dark arts, philosophy, new age philosophies, enlightenment, everything. It is all part of my wonderful, wonderful path.

No one cares what an old book says. It is not about the old book. It is just a book of inspiration. It is not like, you do all this or you go to hell. Those are just the crazy street corner raving lunatics. We don't like them. I enjoy them. But I don't like them. You don't convert anyone that way.

And honestly, you aren't going to hell if you are not Christian. There is no hell. There are things like hell. But no one is damned to hell. Christianity is just part of my spiritual path.

Atheists think they are being smart by pointing out, hey, you don't follow the food rules!! BLAHH MEY EYE OH MEY EYE OH MEOOOW WONK!!!! And they laugh and say, haha the jokes on you! The food rules are over, man. There was a spiritual energy shift. Everything in Leviticus is obsolete! But you don't know this unless you actually know anything about the religion, which atheists don't, they just feel smart lecturing people on thing they know nothing about.

That's why I hate atheists. Not all atheists. Just pathetic atheists. You think you are so smart. Nope. You are not. PEOW!!

And then on the other hand, we have the people saying, well Fundamentalist Christianity and Fundamental Islam are practically the same thing.

Yeah, what with the Sharia law, stoning women to death for being raped, Female Genital Mutilation, general horrible mistreatment of women, and all the bombings and shit. Yeah, occasionally a Christian bombs an abortion center. Same thing, man. Same thing.

Yeah, I wonder about some people.

Psychics and Charlatans

So I wanted to take a moment to discuss the charlatan aspect of the psychic profession.

Many a psychic is a charlatan. Many a charlatan is not a psychic. Because if you are a charlatan, you are not psychic.

It is true, what they say about quackery in the field of psychics and the paranormal. People pretend, because they can. Because the people who talk to psychics sometimes tend to be trusting and gullible.

I was like this one time, one time far, long, way too long ago. Back when I had misconstrued ideas and was in an altered gullible state. At least that's what someone told me, someone I love very, very much, one of my spirit guides. Being delirious makes you extra gullible.

Charlatans tend to hide online and on the psychic hotlines. There are real ones there, not very good ones, not ones worth talking to... and then there are those that just completely fudge everything and take a long time, trying to draw every last nickel and dime out of you.

But, however, as my spirit guides informed me, usually psychics who have there own practice, they are usually not charlatans. However, sometimes they are something else entirely. They are mediums. Mediums who do not know who they are talking to when they channel.

I have this problem, all the fucking time when my body gets off balance. I start trying to channel, and they start telling me something off... not necessarily though, sometimes they try their best but then I am like wait a minute, that sounds off. Then I realize I may not be talking to who I want to be talking to. So I ask. "Do you know what you are talking about?" "This is someone who does not know." They always tell me that. However, right now my guides are telling me they are not required to tell me that, and I think I remember in the past they have not always. Usually, there is something off about it when I am not talking to the right one.

Some of these psychics, however, often times channel unsavory spirits. Like Renee, my mother's trusted beloved psychic. She channels bad spirits. She doesn't know it. She gets enough right to make her well known.... but if she worked hard on figuring out who she is actually talking to... maybe she could be better, instead of giving my mom crappy advice all the time which she does not take with a grain of salt, because a psychic said it, and if a psychic said it, it is true.

Celebrity psychics are always real psychics. If they make it that far, it means they have a gift. Period. Sylvia Browne had some unsavory elements to her.... and she didn't always channel correctly either. Like, I read in her book that she said spontaneous human combustion happens when you get too much phosphorus in the body. My guides told me that what they probably meant to say was that something could happen if you get a shit, shit load of phosphorus in the body, like you suddenly took to scarfing boxes and boxes of matches. But that has never happened before. Ever. People who have claimed to witness spontaneous human combustion are lying. It is not real. It is not real. It is not real.

But that is normal, all in a day's work for a psychic. There are miscommunications. It is a difficult form of communication, mediumship. Kind of like communicating with aliens. We speak a similar base language, but that's not English.

I was talking to Matthew yesterday. He told me he didn't believe that Sylvia Browne was real, because she told someone that she thought someone was dead when they were actually still alive. Well, big whoop. It comes with the territory. You get an inkling. It could be correct or incorrect. You pick up on energy. Sylvia isn't a good psychic for work in that field. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone gets more than a few things wrong from time to time.

My guides lie to me all the time, actually. They say it's for my own good. Sometimes they are just joking, like they choose a funny explanation over the real one, with questions that don't really matter at all, and then when I bring it up later they tell me the truth.

But anyway, what I was saying was, there are a lot of misconceptions about psychic abilities. One is that they should always be 100% accurate. Like, it is some sort of authoritative ability with the all-knowing power of God. I kind of hate it how they act like psychics are supposed to be all-knowing.

Guides lie. You talk to someone else's guide, sometimes they sugar coat, or don't tell you the entire story to protect their "client." More often than not though, guides just don't know. They don't know everything. They are just spirits. They know some things. They will give you an educated guess. A very educated guess sometimes. But, they don't really know about a lot of things.

Psychic abilities are real, bitch. They are not always correct. Charlatans exist. Bad psychics exist. You take it with a grain of salt.

Satan and Adderall: Partners in Business

So, first I'd like to say that Satan is alive and well in society in many ways. Whether you take that as figurative, literal, or some funny combination of the two.

Satan called out to me the day I started doing Adderall. He said to me, Rachel, you are happy now. Ridiculously, ludacrously happy. No more pain. No more unpleasant feelings. I know this is a drug. I know they warned you not to do drugs. I know you know there is really no distinction between prescription drugs and street drugs. Your parents don't know that. But Rachel, everything is okay. All you have to do is take this pill and you will be happy for the rest of your life.

So at first, it was grand. I was happy. I became emaciated. I didn't have to worry about eating too much. Happy, happy, happy. Life couldn't be better.

Well, that was at first. Life slowly started to sink in. There were letdowns. Coming off it. My mom would be horrified if she knew how intense the highs and lows of this drug are.

But it took several years before Satan really started to screw me over. First came the dark spots. The humiliation. Every little thing I had ever done was horribly, horribly humiliating. So let's freak out already. Every moment, every day. Freak out about it. I got relief when I took the Adderall.

After awhile, the high doesn't last very long. Maybe an hour out of every day. And it's not a high anymore. Just normal, everyday good funny weird happy feelings. After that, I felt empty and depressed. Life lacked zest.

Then came the pill thievery. The trying to get more, and more, and more. I didn't care where I got it. I just wanted it. Because, I thought, it was that good. I couldn't enjoy life without it.

So, it would have continued to get worse, and worse, and worse. Oh, and I forgot the paranoia too. There was also paranoia.

But things are okay now. Angels rescued me. My spirit guides. WWWOWOOWOWOW!!! And here is where my mom says, SHE IS DELUDED!!!K!!KJO!JO@!! She's not psychic! She's talking to herself! Talking to herself!

WEIREHNIREJIRJEIRJEI!!!

I don't know if people understand that I was a drug addict. I am a recovered drug addict, bitch. Not recovering. Recovered. I don't want that shit anymore. Sure, dopamine production is still not at its peak. But I wouldn't go back to that shit ever. EVAR!!!!!

So there we go. That's it. Satan comes and tells you, forget what you know about drugs. Drugs are good. Feel this. It's good. Everything is a happy gumdrop lollipop fairytale. Just take this pill every day.

And then he fucks you over, slowly but surely.

Don't fall for it. Don't think that just because a doctor prescribed it, it's okay. Avoid that shit. And for the drug addicts. Energy rebalancing, baby. Energy rebalancing.