Rachel and Food: A Guide

Actually, I am completely absent of "eating disorders." Which means I use food as fuel. TBH, there is sometimes a rat pounding on a lever for cocaine effect to the food thing.

Also, they told me just now Rachel you are the fat-shaming scapegoat. I was taken aback, and I did not laugh. But they told me at one point, it leads to the "bundled butt" psychological effect in others, an emotional or psychological situation I was not sure if they were capable of creating on this plane.

Actually, I like direct dopamine to the brain. Food, while I like to think it is enjoyable most of the time, obviously to me does not actually activate dopamine in the same way as it used to.

And, at some point I stopped going out to eat entirely. I might eat at a restaurant again, and I might go to the gym again. Or I will eat at Subway. But I don't like restaurant food. And the oil is gross. But I'm not hungry right now, I have nicotine gum.

The trouble with the system is this: hunger and specifically appetite will increase when ghrelin/leptin loses its precise balance, which is when I stop eating dinner or something like that.

That's why I say to anorexics, you are dumb.

"End Quote."

Yes.

The Grand Ole Amazing Calculator, And the Origins of Life

In the beginning, there was a calculator. Only a calculator. It contained two variables. Space, and souls. Both equalled zero! Being meaningless at zero, the two variabled decided to divide by each other. The answer was undefined, "well, you can't divide by zero, so... Undefined could equal the Big Bang. And everything happened!"

What happened next? Does the calculator keep on calculating? Why does it divide them? Why not use multiplication?

Well children, the "divide" function is used to ration out goods across a predetermined surface. If Molly had 3 friends and 8 sodas, she would ration the sodas by dividing 8 by 3.

So, this is about rations, or some might call it rationalizations. When we rationalize, we try to make sense of the world around us and use logical thinking...

Why divide? There is a need for something to exist rather than nothing. That's why. However....

I have to think and revisit this topic later. Hmm? Where should I go next with my sarcasm?

Thank you preacher on the Christian network for exposing this funny atheist theory.

Burn Like Jesus: Chapter 17

I was sitting downstairs on the couch when I heard whispered in my ear, “Raisinettes?”

I immediately thought of Heath Ledger, and his role in the movie Ten Things I Hate About You. In the movie, he is being paid to take out a girl, and he says he needs more money, because she's going to want Raisinettes. They told me that Heath had caught wind of this, and he wanted to watch. We conversed cheerfully about his movie roles, like in Ten Things I Hate About You, and about how that was kind of a childish movie.

“Well, where are your girl friends? They want in on this hot Heath action!”

“I don't have girl friends.”

“Well, where are your bisexual male friends then? They want in on this hot Heath action!”

“I don't have any bisexual male friends, that I know of.

“Well, then you should tell your friend Catherine? She wants in on this hot Heath action!”

“I don't understand the question.”

“Well, give it a rest then. You'll be in on this hot Heath action!” And that was it. I was back to conversing with the spirit guides.

A couple days later, I was sitting on the couch downstairs when there was a haunting melody in my ear. It was a melody played on the piano in 6th grade by a guy I knew in 4th grade. His name was Lincoln. Todd had told me that Lincoln, a guy in our high school class, had died awhile ago. I hadn't known Lincoln, but we were in the same 4th grade class.

“Hello, this is your friend Lincoln. Just watching you in your living room.”

“Hey ho!”

My spirit guides spoke to me. “This man trounced in, we said, hey, you knew this girl on the Earth plane, the girl who is doing the mission! Why, looky here, she has a melody played by you right here in her memory banks!”

“They told me it was probably a girl I despised, because she used to be fat in 4th grade. But I didn't remember her, so I thought, hey, maybe we'll hit it off?”

This kind of thing became the norm. Another time, I was sitting up in my room, and I heard a haunting Earth melody: “Ah di doo, ah di doo, ah di day....” It was a song I recognized from camp, their was a lady at camp who wrote and performed this song. I remembered my sister saying that this lady had died, from some sort of degenerative disease. We attended that camp several times.

She's just stopping by, seeing what the hubbub was about... Of course she doesn't remember you, but what a coincidence! You went to the same camp she did!

We conversed a little bit, and she was interesting in a fun way. Lots and lots of people conversed with me, subconsciously... I didn't know what we were talking about consciously, but I got it subconsciously. I always wondered, on a conscious level, what's the point of conversing with me subconsciously? I have little to no awareness down there in the sub... But, it changed my opinions of people on a conscious level, when we hit it off subconsciously.

Public Urination: This Neat Trick Makes it EASY!

One time, I was on the bus and I stood up. That's what happened.

Wait, public urination is illegal?

I urinate in public all the time so I'm not law-abiding. What a stupid law.

Another law I don't trust is open containers in public.

And, who cares about KFC?

I pissed in your dumpter area. Right outside the dumpstur. It was easy to find the neural pathway.

Due to public urination exercise A.

*.*

_*_

Tanner: A Name That Means Dumb

If your name is Tanner, it probably is by defintion dumb. Do you think I ever tan? No I don't, I worry about age. I have sat in the sun before, and used a tanning bed once in my life because my spirit guides said I needed UV rays. I enjoyed the experience, I don't know if it changed the color or not noticeably.

Tanner. A dumb name for a person.

-Rachel L. Zuhl

Burn Like Jesus: Chapter 16

What do you want to do today, Sugar Plum? Alfred asked me.

We decided to go to the mall. When I went to the mall, I was walking around, and Alfred made jokes the entire time. At one point, he came down, and entered my body, and we walked around the mall, and he told me which stores to go in.

Why don't we go in Bath & Body Works? You have been needing some cheap, putrid perfume! You only have good perfume! So we walked into Bath & Body Works, and looked around. When he saw a perfume he wanted me to smell, I would smell it.

After awhile, he left, and my dad picked me up. We went home. On the way, I watched Alfred's animations and laughed. My dad wondered about my incessant laughing. He thought I was just laughing at nothing. I told him, inside joke. Inside joke. He thought I was full of shit.

We got out of the car, and went into the house. Upstairs, I lay down on the bed. Time for an animation.

He showed a pencil, a piece of paper, and a pen, they danced, and wrote down word for word what happened, now.

Don't worry about writing down the events that unfold. We keep track. They do, the spirit guides do. And I do.

He did another one. A girl, walking through a forest. A big monster coming up and grabbing her. And then, a watch falling from the sky, and hitting the monster in the head, knocking him out.

What is this? A fable? Don't act like this is so splendid, you can't tell anyone what is going on! Do tell your mom!

I laughed. I thought this was dumb, but funny.

He showed a woman walking down a hallway. Out of nowhere, there is a drill. Everyone runs for the exits. The woman gets trampled.

If there is ever any confusion about which one of your guides likes you the best, it's Melionaire.

He showed the two of us, Alfred and I, walking hand in hand. I hurricane hits, swipes us both off our feet, and we hold on, hand in hand, until it dies down.

We will always be together, you and me. Through thick and thin.

The Hamas Ping: Further Reading on Situation

I was subjected to this ad on my Christian network, celebrating the silence of Rachel Zuhl on Facebook with the words "Jes-us. He gets 'Us'."

Ha ha ha ha ha.

I take it in stride, but you know what? I keep sane by posting online. You are all looking at it with your own free will. You don't have do that, you know.

No one told me I was a celebrity.

And, on a Lake Oswego Tangent, Kristen thought Lake Oswego meant "Lake Us, we go."