Dreams Last Night? What?

I had a dream I was sailing, through the air, on a glorious voyage. The setting was supposed to be Portland, Oregon. At the beginning, Hugh was there and others, it was Christmas, I was painting my nails with a nail polish I got that failed to dry, no matter what. I got a shirt, and wore it. It was some common culture reference, and the shirt was complete with a bow (like a bow and arrow) straight across the boobs, jutting out at either side. We were sailing in the air. I sailed... And there were gemstones somewhere, I had some on my arm, tried the rose quartz, specifically. The rose quartz helped, so I kept it, and decked my avatar up with a gemstone cross, draped across some hanging thing, and some other jewelry. We sailed, and at some point, the "gem store" got mad, saying hey, you are supposed to pay for those gemstones. I sailed away, unlike me, I didn't think it was necessary to pay the gemstone guy. We sailed through the air, across the hills and the mountains. I found a diamond or precious gem just sitting there high in the mountain, and kept it. As we sailed on... There was some "theme park" that was interesting high in the mountains. Higher up... We were supposed to tear a hole in the sky. Which way? Toward the mountain, that seemed bad, or tear a hole in the sky...

Childhood Nightmares

I remembered to point something out to my dad. What were nightmares like for me when I was a kid? Well, when I was I think four, we went to Yosemite. The national park with the vicious bears, you know. The only nightmare I remember having about the "vicious bears"... After we left, at home, I had a dream that we were in one of those little cabin things, or something, and there was a knock at the door. I looked through the peephole and there was a bear standing there. Our family ran out the other exit, got in the car, and the bears were following us, across an intersection... And then I woke up (it wasn't that big of a deal of a nightmare, in short). My guides say, overwhelming nightmares of fears as a kid, is genetic, not "soul intelligence." Anyway... So besides a couple after we moved... There was one nightmare, or a series of nightmares in sixth grade. What was the theme? I had an awful reoccuring nightmare, of being in the car with my parents and them driving us into the water. There were a lot of variations on this particular nightmare, in one of them we drove off a bridge, and we thought we might land on this other part of the bridge, because there was a swirve in the bridge. We all cheered.. "Ahhh... Almost, NO!!" As we just barely missed. My guides say, well, besides stuff we were talking about on a subconscious level, a lot of times there are multiple things that go into one particular image or symbol in a dream, and part of the reason this dream was so reoccurring, was related to my family not being Christian. Just a fear that psyche might have, is all. I remember one in particular though, I was in the car with my mom, it was fourth of July I guess, and someone was shooting off fireworks and something fell on the windshield. Then.. BAM! Off a cliff, not all that long later. It was horrifying. I lay awake in my bed after waking with a horrific start, remembering the part where something fell on the windshield, and how at that point, everything was fine and no one was expecting anything horrible to happen. What was the other nightmare? I think it might have been in seventh grade, an "easy processing year," I was still having nightmares. There was this nightmare where someone was joking with someone else's baby, and this person showed the baby a puppet of a clown. The baby put his hands over his eyes, and instructed himself, "FORGET THE CLOWN!" And it came up later, man, this was a nightmare about nightmares. I was having nightmare after nightmare, the psyche was just so enraged, about a situation that wasn't a problem! What was the other (irrelevant) nightmare? It had a melody in it, it's a melody I found in 2017 in a Panic At the Disco song. "Coming out the backdoor, da da da da da, Ms. Jackson?" You'll have to look up the particular song, but it's in a Panic at the Disco song. I had it in 8th grade, and at the time, you're going to think this is crazy, but... All the other kids were singing Ms. Jackson by Outkast. I wasn't watching MTV in 8th grade, and they didn't play the song on Z100. So I had never actually heard the song, just people singing it in school. And... Subbie was the one who pointed out, hey, that was a melody from a nightmare in 8th grade... That's not something I would actually remember, either.

The Saddest Part, at Jason's Expense

The part that made Jason look bad... And I try not to look at this situation, because I don't like it when other people look bad. Or, really fucking stupid, at all. Before... Before? When did it start? There was something weird about the way the perfume looked to me, the Versace Yellow Diamonds. And that meant something, I could explain, but... Let's leave it at it wasn't my imagination, okay? Like, Jason would insist on Versace Yellow Diamonds. He... Thought I would, probably not have enough spending money to buy a new bottle, try to get my sister to buy me Versace Yellow Diamonds or steal my sister's bottle, since she probably had that particular brand of perfume. When I found that out, I went, wooh.. You missed something, Jason. No. That's a terrible misunderstanding. Just no. I'm not going to take something like that from my sister, or impose upon my sister in that way... And I thought you know, well.. As a side note, Lincoln's special good trait is "willingness to understand at the expense of self," is how I had it explained to me. And I thought, maybe you don't understand how much that stuff costs? And I thought that for awhile, and later it came back to, heh, no, he does... He understands how much that stuff costs. And this situation was just sad, and not funny. There are other situations here that are funny, not sad. But this particular situation is sad, not funny.

Dreams From Ye' Ole Post Spring Break 2005 Era

I had a dream then, I didn't remember upon waking. Upon learning something at the time. I was watching a car crash. A semi-truck crashes, and a tidal wave from over a little barrier, comes over and smashes through. The camera pans to a little boy, randomly watching the scene. He turns to the camera and says: "What does it mean?" In the other dream, and this is one I remember upon waking, I was at Matthew's house. Some sort of green liquid had spilled, and everyone was cleaning it up. I was standing there, and Matthew's dad, "Matt," came over to me and said, "Your work is done here." He looked me in the eye and said, "You know what to do." I looked at him back and said, "I sure do." I left, and went on a wild adventure, not knowing where I would end up. However, wherever I went, I knew exactly where to turn, the right turn way to turn at every turn. I ended up... It's not really important, but I ended up somewhere where there was something about the sun in the sky, and the essence of God and life itself.

Oh, the Woes of Babylon

I woke up this morning from a dream about Jason and the witches. There was something weird about it, and I don't actually remember what the events in the dream were, if it can even be reduced to a series of events and not psychological hublub and vague references to people, emotions, and situations that aren't exactly clear. The thing about it, that I gathered from the emotional tone and stuff my guides said when I awoke, he's sorry. I'm trying to look the other way on a consistent basis from how sick that situation actually is, to remain sane, of course. Of course, it's a lot easier to do, when the ole' guides have done lots of sick things to me but no, it was for my own good and in the name of training. So when they actually wish me harm, it doesn't actually seem all that much different, I make jokes and we are, you know, having fun "I guess." Of course, I like excitement, and that's the thing. You're not supposed to like excitement maybe, just calmness and normalcy. The misunderstanding here is so ridiculous, it almost seems funny but maybe that's not what I really think. What do I really think? Actually, one of the supposed benefits of this lifetime was to separate us, in heaven. It finally came out, something my "true self" or "Silia self" said, this relationship brings me down on the other side, over and over again. It's also a detriment to my spiritual growth. We're talking about our relationship in heaven, I'm talking about before I was born obviously, in case that's a weird concept for some people to try to understand, I don't know. What else is going on? My guides were sending me humiliated energy this morning. Yeah, it's possible that I would feel humiliated on my own, yes. It is possible that this supposed "energy" could actually be human emotion. They actually are sending me energy though, I'm trying to distance myself from everything, it's a magic dance of accepting obnoxious situations in retrospect and in time. It gives the impression that I will eventually realize, there was nothing good about my Earth situation ever, that's not what I actually think though. There are things I know about myself and my behavior, I am always trying to be polite, nice, and forgiving when people are downright rude. Well, of course, I may have done something rude by accident, I wasn't trying to be rude and well if I was polite I wouldn't have even said anything at all, right? Like, saying something that's just an observation. The energy I'm getting, actually from my guides, is something like rage, they're not mad at me, they're pointing something out. The thing is, I know something about the situation, and I don't know if it makes people mad to say it but the problem wasn't me. I'm not pointing any fingers at anyone else either. "God's plan." People like my parents didn't always do the right thing (guardianship and Innercept), however that was part of "God's plan." As a side note, that came up as something Jason didn't understand about the situation. I'm not pointing fingers at anyone else, either. That was what was supposed to happen. Eventually I took Jason's behavior as a "social cue." It goes downhill from here if you are in the public arena for this wack situation that's hard to understand. The other thing is, the guides, which are real and I wonder if that's the issue right there that people don't believe in the paranormal, it was a long road, I didn't think any of that was possible to begin with, and eventually I achieved peace with myself this lifetime. And I don't feel like trying to argue the point with anyone else here either. That's the thing, no you wouldn't take my word for it would you, and that's not the issue. And the other thing is, there's something weird about the ole' "mindflip." It's a fun brain update, but is it an ideal one? And that's the sad truth, not really. It's fun and interesting but there's something wrong with it, I have trouble with certain types of cognitive tasks, and I don't know if there is going to be another sudden miracle in this situation like was promised. And at one point quite a long time ago now, my guides helped me understand that I was capable of things that seemed impossible. I am amazingly strong and unstoppable. But does that mean I am capable of everything that could possible happen under the sun? No. And that's the thing. I don't think I am capable of everything here. I don't know if people think I'm supposed to kill myself here, or if I'm not supposed to, it seems like. And then if you are suicidal, people think it's a cry for sympathy, or at least some people seem to think that or that's some sort of myth about suicide. And I'm not suicidal either. I actually think there is something wrong with my body, due to factors galore. What are the factors here? Alcohol, medication (yep, I think that's a factor), and chakra problems.