Last night's dream was a flash back to when I was dreaming at Innercept. It involved being driven around in the car, a girl was there I knew during that time period of Innercept. There was this song playing in the dream, this song that was on the radio when I was at the hospital when I was refusing my medication that was causing me brain damage. I don't want to say the name of the song, but the lyrics were changed to "eight weeks in hell," which was a reference to my previous progam Sanctuary house, and how I was there for eight weeks and how it was heaven compared to being forced to take this medication. I purposely got kicked out there because I couldn't handly living without stimulants at that particular time.
The song was a hyped up rendition of a song on the radio I was listening to at the hospital, with this clownish bouncing around, hyperventilating, Nazi Germany German feeling. It made me sick to my stomach, I woke up puking my guts out on the inside. It was as if my psyche was saying to me, "Hey, remember this song?"
Anyway, I woke up feeling god awful. I can't believe I was once in a position where I was getting brain damage from a medication I was being forced to take, alongside the idea that I was wasting away in a hospital in North Idaho with no hope for my future.
I woke up puking my guts out on the inside, with some sort of understanding that I was healing from this particular situation and that's why I was having this dreaml.
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