Spiritual Musings on a Chemical World

Monday, February 2, 2015

The Cocaine Brain: A Scary Place

When you turn 21, some people enjoy dancing and drinking. Others enjoy the act of stressing out constantly over every little thing they've done in their life. When I turned 19, I became a man of wonder. When I got taken off my Adderall, I became a woman of feeling. When I became one with the art of Lamictal, I enjoyed the act of agony.

So where does that take us now? Do we enjoy the same things? We do, not anymore. I used to enjoy things like caterwauling and pretentious folk tunes, but not the rhythm and blues of arrogant militant prescription pill antics. Why Adderall? Your concentration is bad. It's not that bad, but it could be a little better. No, it's habit forming. But that won't happen, because it never happens.

Except to Rachel. And when Rachel takes the drug of choice that ends up being one of her best buds, they decide it was all her fault. They don't blame themselves for putting her on the drug of choice, they blame Rachel for liking the drug of choice. So, they get mad at Rachel. Damn you, brethren! If only you could take it for medicinal purposes and not recreational purposes! We like the pretentious attitude towards fellow man you have acquired, it is helpful for those needing help with their funny feeling center of the brain, like with your delusional experiences.

Then, something terrific happened. They agreed! Rachel needs drugs! Everyone agreed! It was fun! And then, something happened. Rachel did not agree anymore, and was taken off the medication for delusional episodes.

Why, look. She is a pretentious fuck. She enjoys the banter of mental illness, but not the symptoms! Why? Why can't she understand that she is a good person too? I understand little of this pretentious attitude towards medication, but please, endure the hardship of cocaine brain!

I'll tell you about the hardship of cocaine brain. It involves constant embarrassment, humiliation, water world esque style. It is a horrific uphill battle as each incident one ups the other with horrendous humiliation. Things you wrote appear trite, not trite, embarrassing. Embarrassingly trite. People speak behind your back about your angsty ways and blame it on the caffeine consumption, when really, it is the Adderall, the drug they adore too, because it made you an excellent student.

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