So I met with my sister to work on the book trailer yesterday and I have to say I am worried about how this is going to turn out. My sister refused to stick to a script. I don't know that she had a problem with the script I made, she just didn't want to repeat scripted lines. See, I have to collaborate with my sister on this because making videos is one of my sister's hobbies, and I don't know anyone else who makes videos and I don't know how to do it by myself.
My sister wanted it to start with a voice over, with her talking about me going crazy from her perspective. She wanted to do this because afterwards she would interview me from the perspective of being my sister. I was a bit wary of this. I didn't want her perspective of what happened to color my book trailer. Not only that, but then she asks the interview questions. Which gives her control of the topics covered, allowing her to color the book trailer even more.
My sister said something like she saw what to happened to me from a perspective where she was thinking clearly. I think maybe she was implying that I might not understand it as well because my thinking was off. She tells me I said certain things. The thing is, what she remembers is how she interpreted the things I said, not exactly what I said. How she interpreted what I said may have been slightly wrong, and then when she repeats what I said she paraphrases it without meaning to because she doesn't remember exactly what I said, and she paraphrases it based on her interpretation.
So we kind of got in an argument. I understand that it is something that she would have to put a lot of work into. But the thing is, no book trailer at all is better than a book trailer that I am not happy with. I made a script because it gave me perfect control over how it turned out. I made it so that it portrayed me, in my opinion, as kind of odd and bizarre, talking about a time when my thinking was strange. At times I wrote it so it's like I am saying something I did that seems really off but I say it like it is normal, and my sister has this strange look on her face. I don't want a book trailer that makes me come off like a complete loon, and I feel that that is what my sister's perspective is.
My sister asked me if this was really something I wanted on the internet. She also has made comments in the past asking me if I really wanted to write a book about this so that everyone knows. It's like dude, I don't mind, if it's from my perspective.
I'm not embarrassed about becoming delusional because I understand what I experienced. I understand that the way I reacted to the things I was experiencing wasn't all that weird. And then my sister focuses on these random details that don't mean shit. Like I was apparently sitting in my room with the light off. I didn't remember this, but then I was thinking about it. It was because the light I usually used, the ceiling light by the closet, had burnt out. The main ceiling light bothered me because it was too bright. So I just didn't have any light on. So what? It wasn't pitch black. I may have had my lap top open. My sister thinks that the fact that the fact that I didn't have any lights on speaks volumes about my mental state.
And now I'm sitting here getting mad just thinking about it. See, this is a subject that is really easy to piss me off on. That's why I wrote a fucking script.
No comments:
Post a Comment