So I wanted to talk about something I think is stupid. It's this movie "What the bleep do we know?" and its junky "science."
Now, this movie covers a bunch of different topics. It talks about neurons and psychology, and quantum mechanics, and that theory about water where emotions change its molecular structure. Actually, I think I may have mentioned the water theory on here before. I think I mentioned my dad judges science fairs, and at them there is always someone who attempts to demonstrate this water theory by doing something like putting happy pictures and unhappy pictures by water, and then looking at them through a microscope and claiming they are different, but in reality my dad says they always look the same. One of the staff at Innercept told me you have to freeze the water to see the difference. Anyway, I don't know.
That's not the point of this post though. The claim that I think is ridiculous and groundless is the claim that when the Europeans first came to America, the Native Americans couldn't see the ships.
Do they have any proof of this? No. I was just reading about it and it's this idea that came from science fiction in the 1930's. So now these movie makers are claiming it's a fact, and putting into this movie to blow the minds of the gullible.
Supposedly, the reason they wouldn't be able to see the ships was because they had never seen anything like them before. So apparently you have to have seen something previously in order to be able to see it. That means that when we were born, we were completely blind. Or, maybe it's just to technology. So when we were babies and we were taken home from the hospital, we wouldn't have been able to see the TV, or the remote control, or the refrigerator. There were a lot of blank, empty spaces in the house, full of things we simply couldn't perceive because we had never perceived them previously.
I can remember two times in my life when I saw something that made it hard for my brain to register what I was seeing. One time was when I was in Switzerland when I was 13. There was a mountain partially covered by snow with the white sky as a backdrop. It was kind of freaking weird, because at first glance it looked like there was just a bunch of black/brown stuff smeared across part of the sky. I stared for a couple seconds, then I realized that the mountain and the sky were separate.
The other time was when I smoked DMT. I was at someone's house that was unfamiliar to me, and I was staring at something that was really funny looking and took my brain a second to register what I was seeing. It turned out to be a vase with peacock feather in it with a fan blowing on it.
So, these experiences can teach us that when you see something that doesn't make sense to you, your brain doesn't just edit them out, but you tend to stare at them for a little while to make better sense of them. Why would your brain edit them out? What is this movie's basis for making this claim? I don't think it has any basis. It's just a junky, baseless claim.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Upcoming Writer's Conference
The psychic at the holistic fair told me I should go to writer's conferences (actually, she said I should meet the literary agents in person, which means writer's conferences). I don't think I've mentioned it on here, but I was looking up writer's conferences and I found that there was one, IN PORTLAND, during a time I was already going to come home, August 3-5. How convenient!
So I wrote out my pitch and practiced it, both in my head and out loud, both in the living room and in front of the mirror in the bathroom. I did it in the bathroom so I could watch my expressions and connect with my little spiel to see what I should emphasize, what gestures I should make, etc. I wondered what the neighbors thought of me talking to myself about being the second coming of Christ.
My dad suggested I get an idea of the scope of the audience for my book is. I mentioned that you are supposed to assume 1% of the target audience will buy a copy. He said everyone who is bipolar, plus five to include people close to them.
I actually don't think that is the audience. I think the audience is people between the ages of 16 and 35, with people who have actually been delusional showing more interest. So, maybe people between those ages plus older people who have been delusional. When I saw the psychic, she mentioned I had written a children's book. I'm like, "No..." She said, "I meant, a book for younger people, not children." I can actually kind of see that, as the people who I have given my book to who have been younger have seemed to enjoy it more. By younger I mean late teens and twenties. The psychic said it would be popular amongst young people, and popularize some of the things I believe in amongst young people. By the things I believe in, I think she meant like spirits, tarot cards, and past lives.
So I've mentioned I revised the part where I explain my delusions. I think I mentioned that if I get people to understand my delusions, it takes it from being a pretty good memoir to something that is really memorable, because this story that I imagined happened is powerful. I was thinking about this a few weeks ago. I was really picturing this story in my head, and I realized that if it were a movie it's the kind of thing where people would be crying in the movie theater. People cry pretty easily during movies.
Anyway, so I printed my book off, thinking I would give it to someone to read. I used the equivalent of an entire package of paper, because I forgot that the last time I printed it off with my dad we used a two-sided printer, so it was twice as thick as last time. I divided it into two sections, three-whole-punched the first section one or two pages at a time and put it in a binder. I haven't done the second section yet. I realized I don't know who to give it to.
Actually, I have an idea of someone to give it to. It's this other guy who's in the program, in aftercare like me, who I see often. He believed he was the messiah at one time too. For some reason, I think that he would really appreciate my book, more than other people would. So I wanted to give it to him, even though I don't know him very well. I keep thinking I'm going to ask him to read it but every time I'm around him I don't. I was at school, talking to the staff who does study sessions when he came up and asked me if I had an off switch. He didn't mean it to be mean, I don't think. I think he just meant I was full of spunk. I don't really know what he meant. I told him my off switch gets flipped when I take Klonopin at night. Then he went to class. And I didn't ask him.
So I wrote out my pitch and practiced it, both in my head and out loud, both in the living room and in front of the mirror in the bathroom. I did it in the bathroom so I could watch my expressions and connect with my little spiel to see what I should emphasize, what gestures I should make, etc. I wondered what the neighbors thought of me talking to myself about being the second coming of Christ.
My dad suggested I get an idea of the scope of the audience for my book is. I mentioned that you are supposed to assume 1% of the target audience will buy a copy. He said everyone who is bipolar, plus five to include people close to them.
I actually don't think that is the audience. I think the audience is people between the ages of 16 and 35, with people who have actually been delusional showing more interest. So, maybe people between those ages plus older people who have been delusional. When I saw the psychic, she mentioned I had written a children's book. I'm like, "No..." She said, "I meant, a book for younger people, not children." I can actually kind of see that, as the people who I have given my book to who have been younger have seemed to enjoy it more. By younger I mean late teens and twenties. The psychic said it would be popular amongst young people, and popularize some of the things I believe in amongst young people. By the things I believe in, I think she meant like spirits, tarot cards, and past lives.
So I've mentioned I revised the part where I explain my delusions. I think I mentioned that if I get people to understand my delusions, it takes it from being a pretty good memoir to something that is really memorable, because this story that I imagined happened is powerful. I was thinking about this a few weeks ago. I was really picturing this story in my head, and I realized that if it were a movie it's the kind of thing where people would be crying in the movie theater. People cry pretty easily during movies.
Anyway, so I printed my book off, thinking I would give it to someone to read. I used the equivalent of an entire package of paper, because I forgot that the last time I printed it off with my dad we used a two-sided printer, so it was twice as thick as last time. I divided it into two sections, three-whole-punched the first section one or two pages at a time and put it in a binder. I haven't done the second section yet. I realized I don't know who to give it to.
Actually, I have an idea of someone to give it to. It's this other guy who's in the program, in aftercare like me, who I see often. He believed he was the messiah at one time too. For some reason, I think that he would really appreciate my book, more than other people would. So I wanted to give it to him, even though I don't know him very well. I keep thinking I'm going to ask him to read it but every time I'm around him I don't. I was at school, talking to the staff who does study sessions when he came up and asked me if I had an off switch. He didn't mean it to be mean, I don't think. I think he just meant I was full of spunk. I don't really know what he meant. I told him my off switch gets flipped when I take Klonopin at night. Then he went to class. And I didn't ask him.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
The Akashic Records
So my urge to be spiritual has been waning a bit. I feel it being replaced by this urge to work on getting published, which right now means preparing for the writers conference. I mentioned that I revised the place in my book where I describe my delusions. I realized that there was no way before that the reader was going to understand based on the way I explained them and I was expecting way too much out of the reader. I feel like if I get people to picture these delusional events in their heads like I picture them in mine, that's my ticket to freedom. Because that's what makes my book stand out. I imagine it like it's a movie. The weakness of the movie is that the climax is basically a guy looking at words on a computer screen, which isn't really action packed, but the power of it is the meaning behind the words.
But anyway, I was back on the spiritual message board that I've been on. Enough time had passed that I could request another psychic reading, so that's what I did. There is a person on the board who does Akashic Records readings. Basically, the Akashic Records are records of each soul who has lived on Earth and their lifetimes, everything that's ever happened to them, every thought, action, etc. is recorded in the Akashic Records, according to people who are apparently experts on them. Apparently, something like the Akashic Records is referenced in most religions, in Christianity/Judaism it is the Book of Life. I asked for a reading, I asked to know a little about my past lives, plus I asked for some sort of direction in this life, like what I was meant to accomplish or what career was right for me.
The reader had me forward my full name to her in a private message. Then she forgot several times about the reading. Finally, a few days ago I got my reading. So apparently, the "Recordkeepers" don't want me to know about my past lives. She just said I did a very good job and completed them admirably. She said that perhaps in this lifetime I have learned patience with people, like forgetful little old ladies. But I haven't been paying enough attention to the wisdom that can be gained from talking to the elderly. She said I should put myself in situations, like a volunteering situation, that involves the young/old at least once a week, and once I do so I will begin to grow and have more ability to connect with the Spiritual Guides/angels/loved ones. I would imagine by loved ones she meant those who have passed. She said I couldn't continue on this current path for much longer, whatever that meant.
So, there is nothing in this particular reading that proves to me that she is really psychic. I sort of lean towards believing her. At any rate, this isn't bad advice, and regardless of whether or not it really came from some higher source it wouldn't be bad to follow it. I asked a follow up question, I asked what she meant by young, like young as in my age, or young as in children. She responded and said she felt around the ages of 4-6, and what she had heard during the reading was "out of the mouths of babes." I googled this phrase to see what it meant and it's an expression used when someone really young says something that exhibits wisdom beyond their years.
I don't know if I've mentioned on here but I used to volunteer with the elderly but had to volunteer somewhere else. So, yesterday I was at the Human Right Education Institute, gluing together parking permits and cropping pictures of food from different countries and the descriptions of the eating habits of these different countries and pasting them on pieces of construction paper. Apparently one of the United State's favorite foods is sesame chicken. News to me. Anyway, I couldn't help but wonder if there was something more valuable I could be doing with my time. I thought about asking the lady if I could volunteer with children, but I decided against it.
Maybe I'll ask next time.
But anyway, I was back on the spiritual message board that I've been on. Enough time had passed that I could request another psychic reading, so that's what I did. There is a person on the board who does Akashic Records readings. Basically, the Akashic Records are records of each soul who has lived on Earth and their lifetimes, everything that's ever happened to them, every thought, action, etc. is recorded in the Akashic Records, according to people who are apparently experts on them. Apparently, something like the Akashic Records is referenced in most religions, in Christianity/Judaism it is the Book of Life. I asked for a reading, I asked to know a little about my past lives, plus I asked for some sort of direction in this life, like what I was meant to accomplish or what career was right for me.
The reader had me forward my full name to her in a private message. Then she forgot several times about the reading. Finally, a few days ago I got my reading. So apparently, the "Recordkeepers" don't want me to know about my past lives. She just said I did a very good job and completed them admirably. She said that perhaps in this lifetime I have learned patience with people, like forgetful little old ladies. But I haven't been paying enough attention to the wisdom that can be gained from talking to the elderly. She said I should put myself in situations, like a volunteering situation, that involves the young/old at least once a week, and once I do so I will begin to grow and have more ability to connect with the Spiritual Guides/angels/loved ones. I would imagine by loved ones she meant those who have passed. She said I couldn't continue on this current path for much longer, whatever that meant.
So, there is nothing in this particular reading that proves to me that she is really psychic. I sort of lean towards believing her. At any rate, this isn't bad advice, and regardless of whether or not it really came from some higher source it wouldn't be bad to follow it. I asked a follow up question, I asked what she meant by young, like young as in my age, or young as in children. She responded and said she felt around the ages of 4-6, and what she had heard during the reading was "out of the mouths of babes." I googled this phrase to see what it meant and it's an expression used when someone really young says something that exhibits wisdom beyond their years.
I don't know if I've mentioned on here but I used to volunteer with the elderly but had to volunteer somewhere else. So, yesterday I was at the Human Right Education Institute, gluing together parking permits and cropping pictures of food from different countries and the descriptions of the eating habits of these different countries and pasting them on pieces of construction paper. Apparently one of the United State's favorite foods is sesame chicken. News to me. Anyway, I couldn't help but wonder if there was something more valuable I could be doing with my time. I thought about asking the lady if I could volunteer with children, but I decided against it.
Maybe I'll ask next time.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
The Culture War
So, I was saying earlier that for some reason I have this deep interest in Christianity in the United States. The thing that interests me is this idea of the culture war.
To some people on the right it seems, the culture war is a fight between the righteous on the right and the lecherous heathens on the left. The left wants to pollute are media with profanity and pornography. I haven't read about the idea of the culture war extensively, but I have heard people on the right say things along these lines.
The thing is, this isn't true at all. I'm on the left and I think a lot of the stuff the media puts out is distasteful. Like rap lyrics most of the time are overly materialistic and sex-oriented, in a way that can be demeaning. It doesn't offend me personally because I'm not that easily offended, but like I said I find it distasteful. I find pornography distasteful. It's not so much the images themselves that are distasteful, because like a lot of people would argue sex is natural and human and good, but it's the way that they talk about women on porn sites. Yes, I've looked at a lot of porn sites. Not recently, and not because it actually turned me on but just to see what was out there. It's not the nudity or sex that's bad, it's the attitude.
Yet, the reason I'm not opposed to these things is because it's about freedom. People can say or do what they want. Porn stars are adults who agree to take part in these activities. True, some of these messages can be damaging to children, but it's the parent's job to raise the kid, we shouldn't have to make everything in the media "kid friendly." People on the right say they are for freedom, but they are always trying to legislate their own brand of "morality."
In order for the left to be effective though, they have to distance themselves from this notion that they are heathens. My sister's roommate is a strip club DJ. Strip clubs - talk about distasteful. They have started this thing where they have pageants, among others there is the "Vagina Beauty Pageant." So my sister and her roommate drive around in this car advertising the Vagina Beauty Pageant (which says Vagina Beauty Pageant in big letters on the back), and my sister videotapes peoples' reactions to it through the tinted window. I admit that it is funny to see people get all shocked over seeing the word "vagina" on the back of an automobile, but it doesn't really help people on the left in the scheme of things. Imagine the right wing people, seeing this and shaking their fists: "Those dirty heathenistic liberals and their vagina beauty pageants!" They get angry. It fuels their fire.
I might revisit this topic again later.
To some people on the right it seems, the culture war is a fight between the righteous on the right and the lecherous heathens on the left. The left wants to pollute are media with profanity and pornography. I haven't read about the idea of the culture war extensively, but I have heard people on the right say things along these lines.
The thing is, this isn't true at all. I'm on the left and I think a lot of the stuff the media puts out is distasteful. Like rap lyrics most of the time are overly materialistic and sex-oriented, in a way that can be demeaning. It doesn't offend me personally because I'm not that easily offended, but like I said I find it distasteful. I find pornography distasteful. It's not so much the images themselves that are distasteful, because like a lot of people would argue sex is natural and human and good, but it's the way that they talk about women on porn sites. Yes, I've looked at a lot of porn sites. Not recently, and not because it actually turned me on but just to see what was out there. It's not the nudity or sex that's bad, it's the attitude.
Yet, the reason I'm not opposed to these things is because it's about freedom. People can say or do what they want. Porn stars are adults who agree to take part in these activities. True, some of these messages can be damaging to children, but it's the parent's job to raise the kid, we shouldn't have to make everything in the media "kid friendly." People on the right say they are for freedom, but they are always trying to legislate their own brand of "morality."
In order for the left to be effective though, they have to distance themselves from this notion that they are heathens. My sister's roommate is a strip club DJ. Strip clubs - talk about distasteful. They have started this thing where they have pageants, among others there is the "Vagina Beauty Pageant." So my sister and her roommate drive around in this car advertising the Vagina Beauty Pageant (which says Vagina Beauty Pageant in big letters on the back), and my sister videotapes peoples' reactions to it through the tinted window. I admit that it is funny to see people get all shocked over seeing the word "vagina" on the back of an automobile, but it doesn't really help people on the left in the scheme of things. Imagine the right wing people, seeing this and shaking their fists: "Those dirty heathenistic liberals and their vagina beauty pageants!" They get angry. It fuels their fire.
I might revisit this topic again later.
Friday, July 6, 2012
Bible Study
So yesterday I went to bible study again, as it was Thursday. Sitting there, listening to them talk, I was struck by thoughts of what people I know would think if they were there listening to them. I think the same way my friends do, for the most part, but for some reason I let the weirdness of this situation flow right past me.
So, in case you don't already know, I was raised in a liberal family where God was absent. My parents didn't stress the non-existence of God, it just wasn't really a subject that was discussed. Yet, as I got older, I began to realize the impact of Christianity on this country and conservative Christians. I remember closely following the 2004 election (I remember the 2000 election too and being pro-Gore but not really understanding why Bush was so bad). By the year 2004, it became clear that this president was no good. At least, I thought it was. Yet, during the 2004 election the gay marriage issue was hot, and it got the conservative Christians out to the the poles because boy they didn't want gays to marry, and while they were there they voted for Bush, tipping the election in Bush's favor. That's how I saw it. And it pissed me off.
Then in 2006 I became delusional, with delusions based on Christianity, in particular that I was the second coming. I had to endure the horror of being dragged to doctors and hospitals, while firmly maintaining the belief that I was not delusional. To me, I was like someone who was being persecuted for their religious convictions. That's what it felt like to me.
My beliefs could be shaken but they would not go away. I sat at home and read the bible. The New Testament, which I had never read before. I looked at pictures of Terri Schiavo protesters online, read about the outrage that these conservative Christians felt about Terri's feeding tube being pulled out, and I laughed. These people had it so wrong.
I don't call myself Christian. That would scare the people at my bible study, because even though I sort of incorporate Jesus' teachings into my own life (without even realizing it usually), I'm not "saved." But what I'm trying to say is, Christianity has become huge in my life, for whatever reason. Not because I favor Christianity over all other religions, but because it's the dominant religion in the United States. And it's not that I favor the United States over all other countries, but because it's where I live. And I feel this desire to do something to change the country, because Christianity in the United States isn't working, in my opinion.
There's something I do when I'm at bible study. Most of the time, I don't sit there and think, "I'm undercover as a Christian." I convince myself I actually am Christian, because I accept most of Jesus' teachings. But the thing is, I haven't been "saved." I think for myself. I value thinking for myself. And I don't think that God would put us on Earth, and then either save us or damn us to hell, based on whether or not we accept a particular story, in which the truthiness of this particular story is extremely questionable. We have the God-given gift to think, to question, to decide for ourselves, and we are doing God a disservice by refusing to use this gift and submit to blind faith. And because this is the way I think, if the people I go to bible study knew this, they would be disturbed and pray for me to change, for me to see "the light," for me to be "saved," and accept that this is God's word and everything the bible says is absolutely literally true and not to question anything that God says or does.
And I like the people at bible study, because what I value is acceptance of all different sorts of people, even though I think some of the things they say are sort of strange. I like the pastor there a lot. So this realization disturbs me.
So, in case you don't already know, I was raised in a liberal family where God was absent. My parents didn't stress the non-existence of God, it just wasn't really a subject that was discussed. Yet, as I got older, I began to realize the impact of Christianity on this country and conservative Christians. I remember closely following the 2004 election (I remember the 2000 election too and being pro-Gore but not really understanding why Bush was so bad). By the year 2004, it became clear that this president was no good. At least, I thought it was. Yet, during the 2004 election the gay marriage issue was hot, and it got the conservative Christians out to the the poles because boy they didn't want gays to marry, and while they were there they voted for Bush, tipping the election in Bush's favor. That's how I saw it. And it pissed me off.
Then in 2006 I became delusional, with delusions based on Christianity, in particular that I was the second coming. I had to endure the horror of being dragged to doctors and hospitals, while firmly maintaining the belief that I was not delusional. To me, I was like someone who was being persecuted for their religious convictions. That's what it felt like to me.
My beliefs could be shaken but they would not go away. I sat at home and read the bible. The New Testament, which I had never read before. I looked at pictures of Terri Schiavo protesters online, read about the outrage that these conservative Christians felt about Terri's feeding tube being pulled out, and I laughed. These people had it so wrong.
I don't call myself Christian. That would scare the people at my bible study, because even though I sort of incorporate Jesus' teachings into my own life (without even realizing it usually), I'm not "saved." But what I'm trying to say is, Christianity has become huge in my life, for whatever reason. Not because I favor Christianity over all other religions, but because it's the dominant religion in the United States. And it's not that I favor the United States over all other countries, but because it's where I live. And I feel this desire to do something to change the country, because Christianity in the United States isn't working, in my opinion.
There's something I do when I'm at bible study. Most of the time, I don't sit there and think, "I'm undercover as a Christian." I convince myself I actually am Christian, because I accept most of Jesus' teachings. But the thing is, I haven't been "saved." I think for myself. I value thinking for myself. And I don't think that God would put us on Earth, and then either save us or damn us to hell, based on whether or not we accept a particular story, in which the truthiness of this particular story is extremely questionable. We have the God-given gift to think, to question, to decide for ourselves, and we are doing God a disservice by refusing to use this gift and submit to blind faith. And because this is the way I think, if the people I go to bible study knew this, they would be disturbed and pray for me to change, for me to see "the light," for me to be "saved," and accept that this is God's word and everything the bible says is absolutely literally true and not to question anything that God says or does.
And I like the people at bible study, because what I value is acceptance of all different sorts of people, even though I think some of the things they say are sort of strange. I like the pastor there a lot. So this realization disturbs me.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Near Delusional Ramblings on God and Humans
So I'm sitting here after class thinking some more. I'm asking myself, what makes me think the alternative to God is nothing? Maybe it is everything. Maybe all things exist at all time, every single possibility imaginable and even those unimaginable. It exists outside of time so it is funny that I referenced time. That means that in one of these universes God must exist, because I can imagine God. And it's funny because just yesterday my dad and I were talking about how Descartes made this argument and about how it was a weak argument. But it only works if everything exists. And it doesn't mean that God exists in this universe, maybe a parallel universe. I don't know.
Okay, so here's what I'm thinking now. Everything that exists is thought. The great mind of God thought everything into existence. At the core of humanity is awareness, or God, or me. And when I say me I mean, the feeling I associate with myself. That's what I think of when I think of the beginning of existence. I think of myself.
If I were to explain further this theory on thought I would just be spewing unoriginal ideas that I read from a book, in particular "Manifesting Change."
There is nothing more powerful than my soul. But since I am also human, I am in a weakened state.
Which reminds me of something else my dad and I were talking about. I mentioned that the human soul desires connection and bonding and unity. I also mentioned that this urge could be seen as evolutionary, as we evolved this way because people who stuck together tended to survive. But I told my dad that the desire to connect was a spiritual soul urge and not an evolutionary human urge, I mean in a way it's both because they fit together, but the origin is spiritual. I said something like that. My dad said it was kind of silly.
It works like this: we are souls first. But once we become human, we are humans first, souls second. But it depends on the person which one they place first. I place soul first, but then I break down and place human first.
And now I'm thinking, I could argue that we crave spirituality because we have that soul urge for more than the human world. But I know evolutionary people would argue with me. Some would say that it is just a way to deal with the realization that we are mortal. But that's not all it is for me. It's a hell of a lot more than that to me.
What the human desires is survival. So why does it desire spirituality? I can answer that, what human desires isn't actually survival! It's pleasure and comfort!
Maybe the desire for spirituality all comes down to the desire to have your mind blown, because it's pleasurable.
Okay, so here's what I'm thinking now. Everything that exists is thought. The great mind of God thought everything into existence. At the core of humanity is awareness, or God, or me. And when I say me I mean, the feeling I associate with myself. That's what I think of when I think of the beginning of existence. I think of myself.
If I were to explain further this theory on thought I would just be spewing unoriginal ideas that I read from a book, in particular "Manifesting Change."
There is nothing more powerful than my soul. But since I am also human, I am in a weakened state.
Which reminds me of something else my dad and I were talking about. I mentioned that the human soul desires connection and bonding and unity. I also mentioned that this urge could be seen as evolutionary, as we evolved this way because people who stuck together tended to survive. But I told my dad that the desire to connect was a spiritual soul urge and not an evolutionary human urge, I mean in a way it's both because they fit together, but the origin is spiritual. I said something like that. My dad said it was kind of silly.
It works like this: we are souls first. But once we become human, we are humans first, souls second. But it depends on the person which one they place first. I place soul first, but then I break down and place human first.
And now I'm thinking, I could argue that we crave spirituality because we have that soul urge for more than the human world. But I know evolutionary people would argue with me. Some would say that it is just a way to deal with the realization that we are mortal. But that's not all it is for me. It's a hell of a lot more than that to me.
What the human desires is survival. So why does it desire spirituality? I can answer that, what human desires isn't actually survival! It's pleasure and comfort!
Maybe the desire for spirituality all comes down to the desire to have your mind blown, because it's pleasurable.
The Origins of the Universe
A couple days ago I was at the library with the people from one of the Innercept campuses. I ran out of time on my computer, and it wasn't time to go yet so I wandered over to the new books to take a look, not planning on checking any out, I just wanted to look. I ended up checking one out. It's called "Something Out of Nothing," or something like that. It's pretty much how atheists figure the universe was created, I guess. I checked out, being a theist, thinking there was nothing they could say to convince me that the universe is meaningless and just randomly came about. But hey, I'd give this guy a shot to convince me and I'd listen to his arguments. It has an afterward by Richard Dawkins, the guy who wrote "The God Delusion."
I started reading the book, but this guy kept texting me and it was distracting. In the preface, the author did address the problem that I had in my mind with his theory, he didn't present alternative viewpoint or explain why what I was thinking wasn't true though, so he didn't convince me otherwise, but I haven't read the book yet. See, the problem I was having is if you have a universe, or some sort of THING, that has a tendency to spontaneously create something out of nothing, then that's not really nothing now is it?
See, the idea of nothing is actually hard to comprehend. This is one of those things I would think about from time to time when I was younger because everytime I would think about it it would blow my mind a little bit and it felt cool to have my mind blown. If nothing at all existed, there wouldn't just be no matter or atoms or particles, there would be no empty space, there would be no consciousness, anything that you can think of that you could tie a word to would not be. Nothing ever was, nothing would ever be. Now, as a kid I was an atheist, so I didn't use God as the answer to the question of why there was something (I sort of do now though). But for reasons I could not comprehend, there was something instead of nothing.
Now, I was talking to my dad about stuff related to these matters, and about souls and shit. So my dad is an atheist, but I'm not sure he actually believes that spirituality in any of its forms is all bullshit. What I mean is, I think he believes there is a spiritual aspect to humanity, which some atheists don't believe in. But the difference between the way the both of us think comes down to the fact that I believe the spiritual element that exists in humanity was present before the universe was created, and I think what he believes is that it was just a byproduct of life forms coming about.
The spiritual element of humanity is what I call "God." Some people I've found don't like that word, but they believe in what I'm talking about. Anyway, so my dad seemed to think that what I believed was weird. He asked me why I believed that, and I said, "I don't know that's just what I believe." He told me I should examine that belief. So I'm examining it right now.
So what I believe is that spirituality isn't a byproduct of science, but science is a byproduct of spirituality. Spirituality not meaning religion but just plain spirit and awareness. So as I'm sitting here I'm thinking, the physical world isn't really real, the only thing that's real is spirit. And it all comes down to my worldview, but it's more than just a worldview, is a universeview or existenceview. The idea is that we live life to experience and grow in spirit (at this point I'm reminded that a lady at the holistic fair was telling me that we don't come to Earth to learn necessarily, unless we want to). My thoughts are kind of scattered right now, actually. For some reason I'm thinking that the nature of the Earth is to flow from primitive or evil to good. That seems like kind of a weird claim. I remember I took an online BYU class once and the teacher, who was probably Mormon, made that same claim. Anyway, the reason it does this is because of the innate spirituality of the universe, and the fact that it favors good.
For some reason though, this seems like a pretty weak argument. I may touch upon this subject again later, I have to go to class soon.
I started reading the book, but this guy kept texting me and it was distracting. In the preface, the author did address the problem that I had in my mind with his theory, he didn't present alternative viewpoint or explain why what I was thinking wasn't true though, so he didn't convince me otherwise, but I haven't read the book yet. See, the problem I was having is if you have a universe, or some sort of THING, that has a tendency to spontaneously create something out of nothing, then that's not really nothing now is it?
See, the idea of nothing is actually hard to comprehend. This is one of those things I would think about from time to time when I was younger because everytime I would think about it it would blow my mind a little bit and it felt cool to have my mind blown. If nothing at all existed, there wouldn't just be no matter or atoms or particles, there would be no empty space, there would be no consciousness, anything that you can think of that you could tie a word to would not be. Nothing ever was, nothing would ever be. Now, as a kid I was an atheist, so I didn't use God as the answer to the question of why there was something (I sort of do now though). But for reasons I could not comprehend, there was something instead of nothing.
Now, I was talking to my dad about stuff related to these matters, and about souls and shit. So my dad is an atheist, but I'm not sure he actually believes that spirituality in any of its forms is all bullshit. What I mean is, I think he believes there is a spiritual aspect to humanity, which some atheists don't believe in. But the difference between the way the both of us think comes down to the fact that I believe the spiritual element that exists in humanity was present before the universe was created, and I think what he believes is that it was just a byproduct of life forms coming about.
The spiritual element of humanity is what I call "God." Some people I've found don't like that word, but they believe in what I'm talking about. Anyway, so my dad seemed to think that what I believed was weird. He asked me why I believed that, and I said, "I don't know that's just what I believe." He told me I should examine that belief. So I'm examining it right now.
So what I believe is that spirituality isn't a byproduct of science, but science is a byproduct of spirituality. Spirituality not meaning religion but just plain spirit and awareness. So as I'm sitting here I'm thinking, the physical world isn't really real, the only thing that's real is spirit. And it all comes down to my worldview, but it's more than just a worldview, is a universeview or existenceview. The idea is that we live life to experience and grow in spirit (at this point I'm reminded that a lady at the holistic fair was telling me that we don't come to Earth to learn necessarily, unless we want to). My thoughts are kind of scattered right now, actually. For some reason I'm thinking that the nature of the Earth is to flow from primitive or evil to good. That seems like kind of a weird claim. I remember I took an online BYU class once and the teacher, who was probably Mormon, made that same claim. Anyway, the reason it does this is because of the innate spirituality of the universe, and the fact that it favors good.
For some reason though, this seems like a pretty weak argument. I may touch upon this subject again later, I have to go to class soon.
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