They say there is a stigma associated with mental illness. Sure, there is. There is an unhappy one, but what no one wants to talk about is the positive one. Because everyone secretly thinks schizophrenia sounds like it might be fun. Not really, but they wonder, what with the hallucinations and delusions of grandeur. Sounds like some sort of acid trip, and people like the idea of acid trips. Acid trips are fun.
Hey, Sugar Plum, let's talk about spirit sex! It's going to be magnificent! It is the best thing in the world, you, me, down in the dumps, are you? Alfred said.
I'm all right, just tired, I said.
You are not, you are not alright! I want to know what is going on, what are the silia thoughts? Are you really down for the Pussycat Brawl?
I am more than down, sugar bee, I said. And I looked up at the plate on the wall, where he dwelled.
Watch, I'm going to jump from the plate, to the vent! Poff! He jumped, and I imagined he was in the vent now. Whenever I talked to him, I imagined he was in an object near the top of the room, and that's what I would talk to.
Most people on the other side who do spirit sex, a lot of the women like to look like Eleanor Roosevelt, Alfred said.
I looked her up online. “Ewww! Ugly bitch!” I said.
She's not ugly, she's spiritually intelligent looking, Alfred said.
Do people make themselves look like me? I'm spiritually intelligent looking! You said I was one of the most spiritually intelligent looking women there was!
Umm, baby, let's not fight...
What? Do they? Why won't you tell me?
They do not sweetie... Sorry to burst your bubble...
But... I didn't really think they would, I was just wondering... Because I'm spiritually intelligent looking and famous... And then I thought it was going to be a dark spot. Another dark spot. Because I was embarrassed that I had asked.
No worries, it was a valid question. They do not, to my knowledge. Eleanor Roosevelt.
She's so ugly though!
She's not ugly, she's cute and has girlish features.
Whatever, I don't agree.
Anyway, so they make themselves a little prettier than most, and do it doggie style. Have you ever wanted to do it doggie style? I think you don't care, do you baby.
I want to look you in the eyes so I can feel the connection to you, and your power over me, I said to Alfred.
Exactly! That's what I was thinking too! We'll reserve that position for anal. Another thing I want to tell you is, I want you to want the power. I want you to be mad that you don't have the power, that I have the power. I want you to envy me.
But I don't want the power!
I WILL MAKE YOU WANT THE POWER!!! Another thing, it's easiest to remove yourself from sex if you are unhappy, but hard to get me in the mood again. You never say it's time to quit, got that?
Why would I want to quit?
If it gets too rough, or you are unhappy. You tell me afterwards, I will make amends. Everytime, after we defile you, I will woo you romantically. I will sweep you off your feet.
You don't need to do that... I'm not into the romantic stuff....
But you are! You are! He did a animation. He showed a person leaving a woman a bouquet of roses. The roses and interesting emotional connotations. They were sad, but necessary somehow. They comforted me a little bit.
I think it's sad too, that we need the roses. But without the roses, there would be no Pussycat Brawl! There's got to be love or else it doesn't work!
I don't like the roses, but I admit they are necessary.
Exactly! Now you're on the same page I am! So after I defile and desecrate you, I will take you out for a night on the town, take you to dinner, buy you chocolates, buy you flowers, sweep you off your feet... Every time.
Okay, sounds fair.
Another thing about spirit sex. You will not know beforehand, but I will make you eat your own vaginal fluids during the act. I think it's cute. Not funny, not sexy, cute. When a girl eats her own vaginal fluids.
That sounds grody! I don't want to do that!
But you will, won't you?
I guess, since you're in charge of every little thing...
Exactly. Another thing about spirit sex is, it is easy to remove me from the Pussycat Brawl if you ever get mad at me, but I will not be happy with you ever again. If you ever back out of the Pussycat Brawl, I will make sure you don't live to see the next day.
I don't think we will ever revoke it. Why don't we just stay on this dimension, forever and ever, and never move on? We can just do spirit sex all the time, over and over again, me bowing down to you, you defiling me, over and over again, for all of eternity...
That's sweet Sugar Plum, but I know how badly you want to move on to the next dimension. We've talked about it many times. You want to move on because souls like us crave spiritual growth. You don't understand the meaning of the word “eternity.” It means forever and ever. It never ends. Eventually, you will want to move on. But I will tell you this, we are not moving on for a long ass time! Long, long ass time! I like that idea a lot though, Sugar Plum, I really do, but I think eventually, you will get sick of it...
I know, I think so too, but I want to be your bitch forever! I said.
I know, sweet pea, I know... Another thing about spirit sex is, it's wonderful if you don't let the other person know what you are thinking. I will know what you are thinking, because I designed you. You will remember me, but you won't know from where. You will have a crush on me, but you won't know who I am. I will make you meek, sweet, and witty. Not dumb, witty.
It would be mean in a way you might like if you made me dumb, so that I am inferior to you in every single way...
That's just dumb, Sugar Plum. I don't want you to be stupid.
I just thought it would be mean... Now I was embarrassed. Oh man, another dark spot. In the future, whenever I remembered suggesting that he could make me dumb, I felt embarrassed. Not because I wanted him to make me dumb, but because I suggested something that was stupid. Guys hate dumb girls.
Okay, don't worry about it Sugar Plum, I get why you would say that. Another thing about spirit sex is, it takes awhile to recover from being desecrated. It is not good for the spirit. That's why it's so great when virtuous souls allow themselves to be desecrated. Because they are always oh so respectful of themselves. Part of being virtuous is respect for yourself. Like you, respecting your body, not wanting to get your ears pierced. Like, come on Sugar Plum, it looks cool! No, no, no. It's unnatural. You make me sick, Sugar Plum. Another thing about being defiled is it takes awhile to recover, but I will help with that, okay? I will help you recover every single time. It's easy, it's not a big whoop. It's really easy.
Chapter 85
Can't sleep, gonna die.
It happened every day, when I would go for a walk. Walt Whitman would call out to me.
“Well? Where did the bodies go? Out the stairway? It's time for a laugh!”
When he would call out to me, I would hear, “Damn you Walt Whitman!” which was a quote from Homer Simpson.
When I got to the park, Freddie Mercury called out to me. I sat down so I could talk to him.
“Well, I am waiting until Chance gets ahold of you, then I want to watch, okay?”
“Okay, sweetie. When will you be back again?”
“In the future, I will be back quite a bit once you start talking to Chance, okay, sweetie pie?”
“Okay, have a good time!”
As I walked, a man came out from the forest and touched me on the tush. He was a child molester.
“Watch out!” he said to me. “She's a ravenous whore, this one here!” he said to me and licked his lips. “Maybe we should get together and remove our clothing, huh? Huh?” he said hungrily.
It's a child molester, Salioness. He wants to seduce you. Don't bite, please. We don't need you having more than one other worldy boyfriend.
Don't even joke about that, spirit guides! He's just a pervert! When he stops acting dumb, he's going to want to be crossed over. Should I? I think he's a bad soul, but you never know!
He's a bad soul, no, Salioness. Don't cross this one over. He's a wretched, foul, soul. Not all child molesters are bad. This one is bad.
I kept walking down the street. As we neared the end of the road, another spirit came out of the office park.
“What are you doing here?” he screamed. “You need to learn to mind your own business!” he screamed. “Make way! She's a wretched foul skank! Make way! She's about to devour a town!”
Why did he say that? Why do they all hate me? I asked my guides.
They don't understand why they can only see you and no one else. They want to think that you are the only one around, and that you represent everyone in their lives who has ever wronged them. It hurts to understand this, but why do you not want to make friends with the spirits?
I don't care, they are not that interesting. They don't know anything at all. They are dumb. They look funny, and they smell bad. Why else?
We were just kidding, we understand. They are dumb. Now, let's get an energy drink and discuss matters with your home.
I went to the Quickee Mart, bought a Rockstar, and sat down. My guides breached the subject of my mind faults.
“Your mind is cray cray. It needs help from more than just bladderwhack. Maybe some water?”
Why did I need the bladderwhack anyway? It didn't help my concentration any... It just created an unnecessary ruckus in the house of Zuhl.
“Bladderwhack was absolutely essential for the conscious/subconscious mind flip! You can't do it without that! It coats something like the neuropeptide, creating less friction for a flip!”
What else is going to happen to me? What else am I going to do with my life? I asked my guides in a huff.
“You are going to go far, my dear. You are going to make fun of hobos, pick fights with strangers, and remove cockroaches from the ceiling!”
That sounds all fine and dandy, but is that really how I'm going to live my life from now on?
“You need fun, my dear. We want you to have some fun! It's easy in this state to think you are having a good time when you're not... but if it doesn't stimulate the brain the right way, it is okay never to try it for fun.”
Oh, please. I have fun. Just not as much as some people.
Oh, come now. You need more happiness in your life. Remove the womb! We are done!
I threw away my drink can and left the Quickee Mart. On the way back, we saw a rainbow and danced in the effervescent glory of the leprechaun gold.
After we got back, a girl came into the house. A ghost. She told me a bedtime story, even though it wasn't time for bed. She told me she knew how to get rid of the ghosts, and she would do an enchantment. When she was done, she screamed, and ran out of the room, for there were still too many ghosts. Afterwards, we ate a bag of carrots, and sat and pondered the existence of spirits.
No comments:
Post a Comment