Providence "Plus Sign" And Accessing Other Side Memories

It came up at Providence Hospital 2021, I was looking out the window at the parking garage, at the Providence cross that looks more like a plus sign. "That's something significant," my guides said about the symbol. Then... I stared at it for longer for that reason, but actually, it never came up why that was actually significant. This may have been a contributing factor to me losing faith, in 2021. They lie. Well, actually they did not lie. It came up in 2022 what the "plus sign" was a reference to... It was used in a training exercise on the other side, before I came down for this lifetime. I have only lived four lifetimes previous to this one. That's not very many. Being so young, I had to grow in emotional security traits (plural) to become fit for the mission (this lifetime). They had me do this exercise where I was suddenly in a dirt arena, completely out of the blue, having no memories of what I was doing previously or idea how I got there. My nerves were twitching strangely in a way that was very uncomfortable, and no one at all was around. I would crawl toward an opening in the distance, there was a way out of the dirt arena way in the distance, and I had to just crawl and crawl and crawl towards that opening, while my nerves were on fire or there was something horrific going on with my body. The little scenario would end before I got there. My guides say, "Most people's souls would rip in half if they did this exercise." How many times did I do it? Enough. Enough to seem completely ridiculous, that is. Actually, it was about seventeen minutes at a time, seven times. The funny thing about it is how strange it makes me feel everytime I think of this situation. I get a really strong emotional connotation, unnaturally strong, of a dirt arena. It seems kind of like the Colliseum in Rome, but not fancy and European. It eventually came up though, the "loading screen" for this exercise, was the Providence plus sign. I remember learning that on the other side. "The reason it's a plus sign like that is it's a reference to the hospital you are at on Earth when you eventually find out about this exercise." And I rolled my eyes and groaned because I thought that was stupid, on the other side. It seemed stupid. Maybe the real reason was all this unneccessary time I was going to spend at the hospital this lifetime, is a thought I have about it but I'm not sure what the reason was. The thing is I actually remember thinking that was kind of dumb. It occurs to me now, that's why I'm doing such a good job keeping myself together now, through Fish Out of Water Psychology and beyond, to the events of 2022. With emotional security, I am very very strong on traits. On a completely different topic, another thing occurred to me recently. There's a thought process in my mind that keeps coming up about Jason, Rachel, and Kristen, together. It occurred to me that Jason and I are lovers on the other side obviously, I already knew that, but he's also interested in Kristen on the other side, and to her that's a big "no thank you." Kristen and I have a very platonic friendship on the other side. I don't want to make her angry either, since Kristen is kind of sensitive, but this is a bad lifetime for her in terms of her psychology. As John Lennon says, "It happens to the best of us."

The Psychopath Conundrum

What is the right hang up? Well, the psychopath thinks, "Ha! I don't care about YOU! Ha!" When actually the issue the other person is caught up thinking about is, "actually I'm just thinking about how you're incapable of caring about anyone else, period. Period. That's the processing issue right now. It's been going on for quite awhile. I don't actually take offense, if you're a psychopath." The other defining issue of the hour is, you missed the skill level issue. And, I don't mean offense, but.. The, umm, skill level issue is something YOU should worry about. They don't take into account skill level when determining karmic outcomes, they take into account actions. And the other issue here is, "Ha ha! I'm going to retaliate if you make a comment like that due to an irksome personality trait! Ha ha!" And the joke was on him, the entire time.

Jason's Plot to Annihilate Rachel, Foiled By Guide's Miracle Soul Work

So, I figured out we throw Jason's suicide out like rice. When it came down to me finding out he was still alived, I was so relieved I wanted to scream and cry and hold him very close and sweet and never let him go. When I got out of the hospital... Do I even want to think about what happened? I have to make a decision to think about it and I'm not sure I want to. Well, at one point he started doing more black magic. I got caught in a vicious web of his, cursing the sexual woo and consequences, and gave in in my mind to his lustful antics. Nevertheless, he came by yesterday with a proposition. He was high as fuck, he said so later, on speed shrooms down to Valiooms, or something about psyliciban, THC, and alcohol. He said he had a miracle cure for my ditziness in my words, actually it was for some sort of cognitive deficit. It involved the possibility of human DNA but also some sorts of other drugs. I hesitated, of course, as this was an absurd proposition to accept without knowing what was indeed in the concoction, if there even was a concoction as I suspected he was just kidding, obviously. Of course, I asked questions and at first told him no. How weird, of course, of an offer. Of course, as noted, Subbie does involve some sort of "cognition problem" that is supposed to be suddenly broken through like a hymen, as the guides have been noting, dropping hints, and pointing to the promise of an inevitiable "Second Rush" or Second Kundalini Awakening, which involves impairment in general, naturally or as some say, traditionally. But... I was fearful of agreeing to this strange proposition, then said, "What the hey? Probably no Depakote in the concoction..." I couldn't imagine him trying to force to take Depakote by actually giving it to me. Especially in the light of the recent events, which include him sending me LOVE, LOVE CORDS, and a RESPECT cord, to put things in all caps for no specific reason. So, he said there might be... Other types of human DNA, though I wasn't sure. I had a dream last night I rediscovered the magic of Christmas, after going to bed and thinking about said proposition. I got up, drank coffee, ate something off the floor, and wondered until my eyes tore out of my skull! What the hell, Jason? He was only kidding anyway, but what a disgusting insult, especially in the light of the recent ridiculous sex cords done by black magic. What the fuck? What the howdy hey? And what do you mean? If I have a "cognitive deficit," and it needs "drugs and human DNA.." What? What does that mean? Luckily, my guides were very quick to save the day by doing immense amount of soul work that left me crippling to my lunges and grasping a menial staff of purpose. Would I make it through? Would I get out without an ending like Shakespeare? The answer was.. Yes. And don't tell him you were thinking about Shakespeare, either. What else? What did he mean? What was the fucking idea? Well, is he mad? Should I forgive him? Should I love him anyway? I'm getting sick of him and his ridiculous antics. Well, on the one hand we have love, spells, and love cords, on the other hand we have some insult to my cognition, which in someone's defense is fair due to my in general lack of ability to concentrate and that leads to stuff happening that's bad, or impaired cognition, exactly... What was the dream last night? He was compared to the Family Guy dad, Peter. It was like, oh yeah Hugh, and oh yeah... Peter from Family Guy (AKA, Jason). I don't know anymore. Will I fulfill my destiny? With great faith! Is the answer. And ONLY, with GREAT FAITH... DOOT..

We Don't Believe in God, We Like to say the Word "Power"

Is power an interesting word to you? Well, I think soul is a more interesting word. What IS power? At the essence of the term power, is force. Now, soul is a more interesting concept. It means awareness. Something that HAS awareness or IS awareness. And without THAT concept, the concept of the soul, there would be nothing at all. Some people say... "Nope. There would be a grid." But no one would know about the grid. And no one is on the grid (talking about the universe grid). Therefore, there really is no grid if it can't be observed. You like thinking about power, don't you? I don't. Sheesh.

Do I Live, Or Do I Die? (Argument in opposition)

So, the "Argument in Opposition" for the imminent death theory. I had a dream when I was a senior in high school, this is "Classic Rachel Zuhl Literature." There was something about Matthew taking a video of my breasts jiggling and broadcasting it into every room in the school. A bunch of shit went down, and at the very end... (I don't remember what happened, I didn't write it down). This is a VERY COMMONLY REFERENCED piece of Rachel Zuhl literature... It seemed like it was the end, but it had only just begun (of my life). And I was hanging out on top of an icosahedron house, waiting to be air-lifted to safety. It kind of seemed like search lights or missiles psychologically, one on one side lowering, raising as you reached the end point and then tada! The beginning! Other than that, I feel like cluster plop. I can't watch television without being "triggered" by butts. I don't know if I should point this out... But I did anyway. I did anyway (football players).

Santa Claus

That was the Silia Self's favorite thing about the Earth Plane. Also, the reason I hate Christmas. No, I don't "hate Christmas," okay. But is this how we celebrate Jesus's birthday? Or anyone's, for that matter? We have a rabid repulsive rape of the planet, then a fictional character to talk down the existence of Jesus.