The problem with my life is lack of people. I don't have lots of old friends, haven't kept in contact with the few I did, and end up not talking to anyone at all... Drifting away from everyone else on the spiritual plane.
You can't tell me people don't send each other energy, I notice when people send me bad energy... Notice when they send me good energy, too. When I post on Facebook, people send me good energy... even if they don't click like, it is worth it.
When I was mugged last January, it caused a serious problem... some aspect of my social sanity, was based on being a member of the human race, kindness from and unity with strangers. Of course, you know, strangers are often not friendly... as was demonstrated. Caused a crisis, when I was at the hospital. Every day was drained social bar, the Sims style, and that's an under statement... I needed people to talk to.
What to do? Wasn't sure who to talk to on Facebook, didn't know who to talk to. No friends I could call on the phone, sent lots of messages out on Facebook to strange people, not people I'd maybe actually like to talk to because I was scared... Thought it would seem out of place and strange. So, it was awful and sad. Plus, my closest friend Jason, wasn't talking to me... And that was horrific, actually. And every day was sad and soul crushing. So I actually paid for a dating website membership. Nahh, I'm not looking for a relationship, I'm looking for SOCIAL CONTACT. A friend, and I have zero... Please be my friend, dammit...
Of course, that was kind of a shitshow... Two people actually started talking to me in a dedicated fashion, wanted to meet me when I left the hospital, met both of them, not talking to either of them anymore. Which was depressing.
There was this one guy I was texting, who suddenly said, "Why are you on a dating website? You are mentally ill in the hospital." I immediately blocked him. You know, I am doing what I can here! How else will I find people to talk to, I have tried everything! Already looked for "friend websites," gotten nowhere... He shot and maimed me with bad energy, crippling, so I shot back... MAIM... SHOOT... KILL... DISMEMBER... SHOOT THE FUCK OUT OF THAT GUY WITH YOUR OWN BAD ENERGY... See, when I sent a BRUTAL amount of bad energy, since I am strong with energy, it maimed that guy's ability to send energy, which is an intense thing to do, actually... And I couldn't feel the bad energy he sent me... so MAIM, MAIM, MAIM... He's probably noticing a headache or something, wouldn't actually know... Serious bad energy usually causes pain in normal people, I think. My guides ended up having to do an emergency maneuver and remove our ability to send energy to one another.
It was like geez, will you mind your own business, guy? If you don't want to talk to me and be part of my situation, that's fine, but you can mind your own business and not send me bad energy to "express disapproval" or whatever... NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS GUY... The thing is, sending someone bad energy for this reason, is not a weird thing to do... You don't necessarily send bad energy only when people are causing you problems, just if you disapprove of their behavior. But shit, what a gnarly awful situation. Me, in such a serious spiritual plane crisis, I am doing what I can and I have to FEEL HIS LOATHING at the same time...
I'm sure everyone who is reading this thinks I'm crazy. Nothing new, right?
Anyway, so please, will you mind your energy sending, people... Be nice, please. It dampens my mood a lot, okay. Usually, it doesn't even have an effect. Sometimes, only a slight subconscious effect. Not a strong conscious effect.
Anyway, there's also this situation where I notice people give me little "hugs" or "squeezes"... Happened more when I believed I was saving the planet, I would think of someone, feel a squeeze from them... One time, I was walking in public, and the people in the cars who were passing were giving me little squeezes... Don't know if it's sympathy over the sad spiritual plane situation, or something related to me being about to reach enlightenment...
Last night though, it started to happen a lot again, all of a sudden. I would think of someone, and feel a squeeze from them.
Also, Subbie said, something funny/weird is about to happen, she picked up on it... And I got a feeling of, Alice in Wonderland, weird.
Only time will tell.
No comments:
Post a Comment