Stamina, Stamina, STAMINA

So, my existential crisis of the moment... Don't get this confused with an "existential crisis" though. Powering through life with Delusions of Reference takes Stamina. So does messaging Jason and not getting a response, yes. What is your problem? What is your problem? Well, it helped me through the moment. Did I say anything wrong though? THAT'S NOT IT. THAT'S NOT IT. It was this fucking Fish Out of Water Story, etc. The messages themselves were not the problem. Well... Back to stamina. I have to use stamina to sort through, well what about this? What about this? No gloat. Then... "Well, I wish I were still alive so I could AT LEAST have the pleasure of reading a message from you Rachel, now that I'm dead." Then... "Well, use Rachel's motto, what ever keeps me going through the minute..." "Well now I'm mad there is clear evidence she was right about Fish Out of Water Psychology. I am just so fucking embarrassed I can't live THAT mistake down." To... "Force her to kill herself! That will keep me going, like Rachel's life motto!" To... Rachel says, "I was right about Fish Out of Water Psychology, you are punishing me. There is a difference between a drink and forced suicide, Jason." And every second I sit here, I know I can't die and that takes stamina.