Ruminations on Human Kindness

The thought that spurred this article was the treatment of the mentally ill. If someone feels mistreated by society, they get pissed off and take it out on society. Basic fact. I try my hardest not to return the disrespect to others that I have been given by life. I consider myself a kind person and... Anyway, what else? Bragging about being nice, huh? Well, currently I have so much pent up rage from my situation. It is starting to come to the point where I mess up frequently trying to hide it. "DON'T YOU REMEMBER ME TELLING YOU ALL THE TIME AT THE BEGINNING OF MY STAY AT INNERCEPT THAT IT WAS A BAD IDEA?! YOU DON'T?!" "Excuse me, sorry for yelling." I am always working on trying to improve myself. That's true. Do I feel compassion for others that is true? At the risk of sounding like a sociopath, which is a fear of mine in this situation that unknown strangers will perceive it that way... Actually, I'm concerned with the situation where there's this sense of always winning the better person contest in every situation. Wow, what a crutch! What if I didn't have THAT at least?! Maybe any comparison shouldn't ever come up at all between people. Complete apples and oranges, comparing people with each other. I remember what my guides said about the topic I don't like which is empathizing with humiliating situations when you were the victim of their hatred or blatant disrespect. "If you wanted to grow even more, which you do, you would understand something it takes wisdom to understand. In a subtle way, that implies you expected them to humiliate themselves because you don't have enough respect for them. You are supposed to feel let down. Now, what does the let down emotion (or whatever, thought process etc, I don't want to feel pain) actually look like? You figure that out." As an Early Virtuous Soul, I understand, as Jason pointed out, "That's the funny thing about them. They just hate pain. They hate the concept of pain and want to try to get rid of it." Most notably when it comes to others. In social situations, they would rather feel pain themselves then someone else, if possible. "Get rid of pain altogether. What a lovable quirk!" That's a quirk that dark souls like (to abuse, or Spirit Sex stuff). I see room for improvement in myself on the topic of treating others with TRUE respect. I already treat others with respect. But is the respect true enough? That's the question. I think I do but I could challenge myself to be more humble. That's what I'm thinking about. Simultaneously, I get treated with such disrespect on a regular basis that I wonder if these two things clash. However, if you want to know what I am working on the hardest, it is patience with the mindflip. There are things that are easy for other people's brains that are hard for mine. It seems unfair until you remember that getting frustrated or asking for help in a situation like this rubs people the wrong way. Something that probably happens plenty, I stumble in a situation that seems easy for other people and other people might think that was an embarrassing situation for me. Well, the mistake was forgivable because I understood it, but that might have looked weird to the other person and I keep thinking about that. There have been a grave number of situations with the mindflip where I have been misunderstood for that reason. I can't imagine how many soul traits you might grow in from working all the time trying to operate an "alien brain." For the time being, I have to push myself all the time, and one of those ways is to appear normal and not make ridiculous looking mistakes that others wouldn't make. All the times I could have possibly weirded someone out with something that was an issue due to the mindflip, makes my head spin and mind boggle. The blood pressure example is what spurred this thought process today, even though I think about it a lot. One time quite awhile ago, I think 2021 at Pearl House, I was being transported to the hospital and they took my blood pressure. It was 150 over something. I pointed out that was very elevated to me (weird even for the stress of the situation, but I don't know about that). The guy in the ambulance hesitated or responded with some social/emotional cue I don't remember now. I said quietly to myself, "blood pressure is a competitive thing." THAT RIGHT THERE. THAT COULD BE SOMETHING THEY HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH ME ABOUT, THAT COMMENT. Well, I made no assumptions about that guy it was a personal reminder that others have egos. Which is the actual point of annoyance, sometimes I forget that I have to take into account things about life that might be ego points. I thought nothing of this comment here, until I was being discharged from the ER the other day and it included a warning about high blood pressure (over 120). Okay... I get my blood pressure checked on a very regular basis and normal for me is low. You know, I almost wondered if they just said that in the report to mock me about that one time in the Ambulance. Why is 120 over whatever a problem given the very high stress level of the recent ER incident? No idea. No idea. They could have put that in the report just to mock me. That wasn't the worst part of the report though, it was there medication recommedations which I know were simply recommendations. Moving on. Does the Bible explicitly forbid making claims about your own character? No, I don't think it does. That's a situation I look back and think about. Relaying information, my spirit guides said I was a virtuous soul. So however people react... Well, what are they going to do? Sit around and mock/grumble in a giggle/hate fest. And if they actually grumble or take it out on me personally... I hypothetically grow even more in that trait. I don't regret saying that, though I think back and think huh most of the time you shouldn't point it out but I did... Indeed. However, the thing I worry most about is... The thing I worry most about is... I have to take a stand on a cause I think is stupid because well God clearly said so. And I can't prove that God said so. Right now.... Hallellujah praise Jesus! "Biding your time Jesus... Biding your time... The world is waiting."