Climate Change Deniers: Repent or Perish!

Time for a bath!

What?

Time for a bath!

What? Time for a bath in the raging fire of hell!

Why?

You left out the soap. Take it in with you and remove your mind from the scenario.

What does that mean?

You are dirty, your mind is foul, and you are a heathen. Your blatant disregard for the Earth plane is a crying shame. Now, repent, or take a bath!

The oceans rose, and enveloped the entire planet. Al Gore was there. He looked on. He knew this would happen. Now, it was happening. Now, they had no choice but to bathe in the fire.

Where is the fire? Al asked.

Rachel replied, in the sink. I will show you.

They got on a boat. They sailed across the ocean to the Anarctic. There was dry land. On the shore, Rachel found the soap. They played catch with the soap, before returning to the ocean for a bath.

Where do we find the rhythm and harmony to collide peacefully with the survivors? I asked Al.

Nowhere. We are done for too. I told you this would happen.

But I always knew! I was always plagued by nightmares of this happening! Now it is happening! Why didn't we do something?

We did, but it wasn't enough. The climate change deniers kept egging on the random folk to make them think I was in it for the money.

I know! I watched! I was breathless!

I saw you too, and I knew that. Now it is time for a bath!

NOT A BATH!

Yes, a bath. Let's scrape clean the wild people off your backside.

I turned over, and there were wild people all over my backside, like he said! They were mean money grubby climate change deniers. They looked mad.

Why are they mad? I asked. They got what they wanted!

They don't like the outcome. They didn't know it would come on so quickly!

I liked what he was saying, but I looked on in horror. There was a bird shaped envelope in front of me. God had a memo!

DON'T WATCH! RUN!

We ran. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. We walked to the back of a fire engine and got on board. When we were done, the planet had crumbled into nothing. We were floating in the air. Soon, a bird arrived to tell us our fate.

YOU WILL DIE!

I died first, he died last.