So, I wanted to take the time to write more on the subject of love. Or rather, on the subject of romantic feelings.
You hear it said, by people, when they fall in love, in mutual love, that they didn't know they had a missing piece, until they found the other person who filled it.
Well, I've never been in mutual love with anyone. But I'm just throwing in my two cents. You actually didn't have that missing piece, until you start pursuing romantic relationships.
The way feelings work, is like this: you can have active feelings for a person, and then you can have dormant feelings.
When you have active feelings for a person, this "crush" takes up a fair amount of your energy. You may think about the person, dream about the person at night, think about how you two can pursue a relationship. It takes up your mind, active feelings.
With dormant feelings, you like someone in a romantic way, but it doesn't occupy your mind. Sometimes, you are not around the person, so you don't think about them at all. Sometimes, you are around the person, and you like them, but for whatever reason your feelings haven't progressed to the point where you care one way or the other if you are with them or not. You would be in a relationship if they wanted to be, but if not, it's not the end of the world. It doesn't cause you pain.
You can have tons and tons of dormant crushes on people. Usually no more than one active crush. Sometimes one main one and several semi-active ones.
Dormant crushes are happy and harmless. It is the active crushes that are killer, draining your energy and mental resources, making you unhappy. Yes, these kind of crushes make you unhappy.
Love probably always begins as an active crush. In the mental state of having an active crush, your body allocates resources to support having this crush. But if you are not in a happy relationship with this person, or the relationship is not moving forward, this leads to unhappiness, because you don't receive energy back in return. So it is just this huge drain on your mind and spirit.
Before someone finds love, usually they will have a series of active crushes, most of the time, where they are not getting energy back. Sometimes, they are in a relationship with the person they have an active crush on, but then the active crush goes away. Relationships turn sour. Feelings fade. Feelings that were once strong aren't strong anymore. It is hard to maintain a relationship, and maintain that active crush.
So, all someone's true love is, is someone with whom the active crush never goes away. And that feeling progresses, with time, and grows into love.
But, the point of this post is, your love isn't your "missing piece." Because if you weren't romantically inclined to begin with, you are just as whole as someone who is in love. Because you don't have any active crushes sapping your energy resources.
Or maybe not. I actually don't know. I've never been in love with anyone where the feelings were returned, or in love at all, whatever love is. I've never even been in a serious relationship with anyone.
But what I think I know is, if you can just get over having active crushes on people, you have more energy to devote to yourself and your own development and making yourself happy, instead of worrying about impressing someone else or making them interested in you.
Which is why people should go back to having arranged marriages. Arranged marriages where feelings aren't a factor, but you are paired up with someone you can support you emotionally or maybe financially, where the two people care about one another but aren't necessarily in love. But a man and a woman who are around each other exclusively and not related to each other usually fall in love, the way I see it, at least they do in movies. I think.
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