Tarot Cards

Dammit, I wish I could find my tarot cards. I'm at home right now, I thought they were with my old college stuff but I failed to locate them. I have questions I need answers to. Oh well, instead of playing with them I'll write about them. I hope my mom will buy me a new deck.

I first met my deck of tarot cards my senior year of high school. My boyfriend at the time brought them to school. He was reading peoples' fortunes, and let's just say he didn't know how to use tarot cards. Of course, I didn't either, having never used, touched, or probably even seen tarot cards before in my life. But I felt damn sure that I was a hell of a lot more fit to draw cards than he was, for some reason. So I took the deck from him, pulled a random card from the center of the deck (which was what I had decided was the right way to use tarot cards), and handed it to him without looking at it. He turned it over: Lovers. Thus proving I had tarot card talent.

I took the deck from him and held on to it. Now it was my own. Dammit, I wish I could find it. We were at lunch during my senior year, and that same boyfriend wanted me to draw a card to represent the future of our relationship. So I did: Desolation. He got upset, told me I had somehow rigged it, and wanted me to draw again. "Dude, you don't just dismiss the answer and draw again just because you don't like the card you got." Anyway, I did draw again: Change. This one didn't upset him as much. We broke up a few months later, so I guess you could say both desolation and change were correct.

Another time, I was talking to a girl on IM when she started yelling at me and insulting me. So I started drawing cards for her, trying to read her fortune. Except, I think I was actually reading my fortune instead. I drew despair and conflict. I was in a conflict that actually deeply upset me.

So when I went off to college, I took my tarot cards with me. Actually, I think I brought them back to college with me after winter break. At any rate, I had them right before I was kicked out of my dorm. I was worried I was going to be kicked out and I definitely didn't want that, so I was drunk and I was drawing cards. Being drunk may inhibit psychic abilities but it doesn't seem to hinder card-drawing abilities. So I was sitting in my dorm room, drawing card after card after card. Every single card I drew was a card I considered to be negative. I did get kicked out, so I was consistently drawing the correct answer.

Right before I became delusional, I was consistently drawing cards that told me the same thing. Then, when I thought the special event had happened but I didn't know for sure, I was drawing cards, over and over again. More often than not, I would draw domination. I took that as a sign that it had happened. It hadn’t happened, but the spirits wanted me to believe it had. Still, I wanted more proof. The story ends with me going crazy/being taken over by a spiritual influence.

After these events, I would draw cards. Yet, I started to feel that whatever cards I would draw were just purely random, and not influenced by spirits at all. And they probably were. The end.