A Healthy Dose of Doubt

So... I've been reading the bible. So far I've read Matthew, Mark, and most of Luke. I've read Matthew before, but I realize that I've forgotten a lot of it. I entered into this project with an open mind, thinking that Jesus was a good fellow. But I've gotten flustered and I don't know what I think. Actually, I do know what I think. I know that this concept of "faith" kind of puzzles me. Jesus likes to say "you of little faith." He says this repeatedly, he mentions faith over and over and over again. I entered into this project thinking that Jesus preached a message of love and forgiveness, which is one I would agree with. He does preach this, but he also preaches a message of blind (or visually impaired) belief in something you have no proof of. Boy, does that bring back memories! (don't ask what I mean by that, because even people who know me might not know what I'm talking about). On top of that, if you don't have this faith, you are destined to an eternity of torment.

Anyway, I know what I'm thinking now isn't anything that hasn't been said before. A loving god wouldn't expect this of you. One thing that experience has taught me again and again is that there is nothing wrong with a healthy dose of doubt. I believe that God exists, and that the inherent nature of the universe is good. But skepticisim is a good thing. I am actually a very honest person, I really hate lying, and I think that's one of the reasons why I am so trusting of what people say. But a lesson I've had to learn the hard way is that people often times don't tell the truth. So why would God want me to go against what life experiences have taught me? I can see the virtue of having faith, if you have faith in a person who you have built a relationship with. But I see no reason to have faith in a book. So if God were to send me to hell because I don't accept Jesus as my savior, he is punishing me because I learned my lesson.

Still, this topic intrigues me. I want to learn more about religion, metaphysics, nonbelievers and their arguments, philosopy, etc. I still have yet to fully formulate an opinion on these matters. The best way of formulating an opinion, I think, is by exposing yourself to as many different view points as possible, and by keeping an open mind.