Shifting Energy

So it's happening again. I feel my personal energy shifting, and I feel like certain things are going to happen. If I told someone at Innercept about this, they would probably thing I was referring to petty matters like moving into aftercare. Yes, that's going to happen but that's not what this energy shift is about.

Energy shifts are easiest to identify by paying attention to what kind of music you feel like listening to. At least, that's how it works for me. I use music to enhance my mood. When I want to enhance my mood, I face the challenge of having to pick the right song from my iPod. Sometimes I get it right, and I say silently to myself that I made a good choice. Sometimes I pick wrong, and I either listen anyway or pick a different song. Sometimes I get frustrated and give up, I turn off my iPod and remove my headphones from my ears and let them hang around my neck.

The song Unwrittten by Natasha Bedingfield is a meaningful song to me. It's a song about being inspired and writing. People who know I wrote a book would probably think that the reason it is meaningful to me is because I'm a writer, but that's actually not the reason. Rather, it's because of an event that's in my book, where I had to write a livejournal entry. I feel that Natasha Bedingfield wrote this song about me. This song was also making its rotation on the radio during the same period of time that I wrote the livejournal entry, which was during the early months of the year 2006.

I have my set of songs I listen to when I feel like I am the messiah, and then I have the set of songs which remind me of events from my book. Lately I've been listening to the book set, not the messiah set. When I listen to the messiah set now, it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. I've also been listening to a lot of cheery music, mostly by female artists.

But music choices aside, I remain frustrated by how long this is taking. Of course, that's what you have to deal with when you're a writer: the publishing process is painfully slow. The life of an agent or publisher is very busy.

I think very highly of the content of my book. Not because of the writing itself, though I've been told the writing is book. But I can vividly imagine this book becoming popular. I imagine it being turned into a movie, only the movie would be about how it would be if my delusions were actually true, so it wouldn't be about a delusional girl but rather about a girl who was the messiah. And most of all, I imagine people making fun of it. But I don't mean that in a bad way, actually it's a good thing. I imagine things from my book becoming overused and cliche.