Radiance

I find myself in a place where I'm not sure what the concept of ego means, or what exactly it means to be enlightened.

Sometimes I bounce against others, trying to say well I have this better than this person, or I'm better at this, or I'm better at this.

Sometimes though, I'm not bouncing off against anyone at all. What is it I want exactly? To have interesting experiences? Or to have other people appreciate the inner beauty I possess?

What do enlightened people... Scratch that. Forget about it.

Well for one, I think I am done trying to convince to myself that I am worthwhile, because I have done it already. We could stop right there, or is that a trait of sociopaths? Is it a sociopathic thought to try to stop caring how other people perceive you?

The answer is... Yes.

What was the alternative? Being dependent on other people's approval?

Well I don't want to do that either.

Is there a happy medium, little hummingbird? Maybe, I should take it as it comes, and enjoy the specks of light that dance in the dark, gloomy atmosphere of social isolation.

And now, the answer comes from within, which is... Radiance!

Radiate out inner beauty, power, and focus on pushing, pushing, pushing it out.

Moments when you catch a glimpse of your own inner beauty are few and far between. Accept it, try your best, no judgments.