Willy Wonka and the Prostitutes

So I just woke up from this really weird dream.

So it started out where I was in my room trying to sleep, and my dad comes in to tell me I need to sleep downstairs because I am making too much noise. I couldn't speak. I tried to tell my dad I wasn't making any noise, but my vocal cords didn't work. I got up, flew around the room, and slipped under the bed. My dad came in the room, I held out my hand from under the bed and he pulled me out.

I went outside to do what I do normally in lucid dreams for some reason, and that is be a prostitute. So I  was walking down the street in my underwear, waiting for some car to pull over. A bunch of cars passed, and then one pulled over. I was worried though, because the voice coming from the car sounded elderly and female.

I got in, and it was grandmother!!! That woman I had that dream about in 8th grade!!! So I was talking to grandmother, and I asked her about which past lifetimes we were together in. She said she didn't know, but the invisible spirits knew. We could ask them some day. Then, there were some weird little creatures sitting next to us, talking about Willy Wonka's Chocolate factory.

We drove back to my house. As we got out of the car, there were a whole bunch of people gathered there staring in the house. I looked in the house, and I gasped, because it was so beautiful and sparkly. And then suddenly, I floated upwards. And I floated over to the place where everyone's attention was. And my boobs started tingling, and I started breathing heavily, and there were some little creatures talking about gum balls, and I thought it was going to be like in the movie Willy Wonka where the girl blows up. But I didn't blow up, everyone was staring at me as I was floating there feeling fat and breathing heavily.

The Wisdom of the Dream People

This entry is brought to you by the year 2011.


Dreams are important and can hold important information. You've probably heard that dreams have meaning, and that you should interpret them to find the meaning. But the most important messages that come in the form of dreams need no interpretation: they are directly stated to you, in plain English.

One time in eighth grade I decided that I was too heavy and that I was going on a diet. So I severely restricted my diet. While I wasn't quite anorexic, I ate much less than what would be considered healthy for weight loss. Then one night, I had this dream. There was this oldish lady, and she was looking at me very sadly. I said, "Grandmother, what's wrong with me?" She didn't look like either of my grandmothers but that's what I called her. She said, "your age." I was too young. "What else?" And she continued to look at me very sadly, and after a few moments of silence she said, "what you ate yesterday." I wasn't eating enough. We hugged, a very large hug. And then I was lying awake in bed, thinking about how weird that was. I didn't believe in spirits at this time, but I thought this might be an important message.

But I didn't follow her advice, I continued on my diet. After three weeks of being hungry all the time, I quit. Trouble was, that wasn't the end. Even after I started eating more, I still felt different: lower, depressed, and obsessed with food. I didn't enjoy anything besides eating and sleeping. Later I discovered that stimulants were the answer to this problem (yes, drugs were the answer), but I can't help feeling that I should have followed the dream lady's advice and eaten more, and maybe I wouldn't feel like I have to be on drugs all the time, because I still feel that way to this day, and that was ten years ago.

The night before last, the spirits again came to me in a dream. I was having nightmare, but I don't remember what it was about, because even as this dream was unfolding it was rapidly slipping away from me. Then it occurred to me that this was a dream, which was a rare and remarkable thing, because I usually only have lucid dreams upon falling back asleep after being awake for awhile during the night, or after something really weird happens in my dream. Something like, say, I'm standing in the bathroom, and a girl comes in with a knife and starts hacking away at my brains (that happened a few nights ago). So I realized it was a dream, and I asked why I was having this nightmare. Then the spirits were there. They told me I needed to leave Innercept, I had been at Innercept too long. I asked them to elaborate, they said it wasn't necessarily a bad thing that I had come to Innercept, or even that I had been in the first part of the program for so long, but that I had spent too much time at the hospital and in intensive transition, the place I'm at now. I knew these places were expensive so the first thing that occurred to me was that this was about money, so I asked if that's what it was about. They didn't answer. Then I realized, "Hey, I'm talking to the spirits!" I asked if my book was going to published. At this point I was surrounded by several girls, or young women I guess. One of them asked me if I could handle it if it wasn't published. I said I didn't know. They all laughed. Then they all said, "yes, it will be published." Each and every one of them told me this individually.

Undrugged, Naked Ramblings

So I would like to take a moment to discuss where free will lies.

Free will lies deep in the thought.

When you make decisions regarding actions, you choose between two options at a time. You pick the option which you think will bring you the most pleasure.

Then, there's the matter of instant gratification versus long term well-being.

Complex questions require creative solutions, which require your brain to think off the beaten path.

Which requires thinking where there is more of a cognitive leap between concepts. Because thinking on the beaten path is easy. You have to think off the beaten path, think of not so closely related simply associated concepts.

In order to do so, you have to delay gratification. Because there is more space between thoughts, it requires a greater push and longer period with gratification, when you are moving from thought to thought. Because thoughts in themselves are gratifying.

So basically, your ability to think creatively comes down to your soul's ability to delay gratification.

Does thinking in itself bring pleasure? Yes, thinking brings pleasure, because if you didn't you wouldn't do it.

So what free will comes down to is, the choice between thoughts of equal pleasure value. So you get gratification from thoughts.

This is how I philosophize when I can't concentrate. For the love of God someone give me some Adderall.