I remember back in the day when I was whisked away to the mental facility, with the police cars, ambulances, sirens, bunny rabbits, pistol-whipping rapper dudes, lollipops and sugar plum fairies and the like. The gentlemen said, "it's what college done to her, baby, she be missin' her parents and thunk too hard with the homework and all that. What she be needin' is her momma, I thunk."
Pow! Brain donk. It's this medication I'm on see, invega. It donks my brain every once in awhile and I get stuck in one place, one thought for what seems like an eternity. I call them brain donks. Stupid medication-induced brain damage. I curse thee.
Anyway, so I was pissed off. These doctors and my parents think that I couldn't handle the "stress of college." What stress? I was hardly studying at all. Anyway, I couldn't handle these "big thoughts" I was having. These big thoughts of moving out of my home. Time to slap a guardianship on me so I CAN'T move out even if I want to.
The reason I was pissed off was because I hate my fucking parents. Not really, but kind of. I hate them so badly it tears me up inside with fear and loathing and the agony of the post partum depression on the nightmares of bed-wetting and breast feeding and the like. I wanted to get the fuck away from those bitches. Now they are trying to tell me I lost my mind because I couldn't bear to part with those fuckers. What? What the? I punched those fuckers in the nuts. They are okay now, minus the shattered left testicle.
But I must persist. I must leave alone the thoughts of living alone in the world, on my own, happy and carefree, minus the worries of taxes and mortgages and bankrupties. I live with my parents. Happy and carefree, minus the worries of hangovers and finger nail polish and armed robberies and million dollar James Randi challenges.
So that's it. I'm done. My life is over. I have no means of making a living. I have no college degree, no job experience, nothing that can get me a career.
I guess I will have to fall back on the psychic abilities.
[abrupt ending]
