Social Fiasco, Impaired Judgment, Hippocrite!

Which is easier, sacrificing your own body for a cause, or forcing someone else to? As I deal with the notion that the mindflip might have come at a horrendous cost... The cost of being able to have friends or normal social encounters. At one point, I disparaged my mother as being "fortunate to be kind," like the Oingo Boingo lyric. Actually, some of us wonder about her kindness, if it exists, not that it doesn't but she spends time moaping and worrying about issues that aren't worth her worrying about, and that used to be a big deal with my sister and I, we were glad when "Worry Wart Beev," which is a song in my old musical (You haven't heard? I had a musical), she uses worrying about other people as a crutch to making herself feel superior and what a kind heart! Actually, right now I am worried about my own spiritual growth. What if it isn't a success this lifetime? And as Subbie pointed out, "you got to get burned," in order for sustained growth in a trait like virtue, or maybe any trait but specifically special good ones, and the burn this lifetime was the Eminem fiasco. Yes, I was spiritually possessed, I remember my thoughts.