Psychics and Charlatans

So I wanted to take a moment to discuss the charlatan aspect of the psychic profession.

Many a psychic is a charlatan. Many a charlatan is not a psychic. Because if you are a charlatan, you are not psychic.

It is true, what they say about quackery in the field of psychics and the paranormal. People pretend, because they can. Because the people who talk to psychics sometimes tend to be trusting and gullible.

I was like this one time, one time far, long, way too long ago. Back when I had misconstrued ideas and was in an altered gullible state. At least that's what someone told me, someone I love very, very much, one of my spirit guides. Being delirious makes you extra gullible.

Charlatans tend to hide online and on the psychic hotlines. There are real ones there, not very good ones, not ones worth talking to... and then there are those that just completely fudge everything and take a long time, trying to draw every last nickel and dime out of you.

But, however, as my spirit guides informed me, usually psychics who have there own practice, they are usually not charlatans. However, sometimes they are something else entirely. They are mediums. Mediums who do not know who they are talking to when they channel.

I have this problem, all the fucking time when my body gets off balance. I start trying to channel, and they start telling me something off... not necessarily though, sometimes they try their best but then I am like wait a minute, that sounds off. Then I realize I may not be talking to who I want to be talking to. So I ask. "Do you know what you are talking about?" "This is someone who does not know." They always tell me that. However, right now my guides are telling me they are not required to tell me that, and I think I remember in the past they have not always. Usually, there is something off about it when I am not talking to the right one.

Some of these psychics, however, often times channel unsavory spirits. Like Renee, my mother's trusted beloved psychic. She channels bad spirits. She doesn't know it. She gets enough right to make her well known.... but if she worked hard on figuring out who she is actually talking to... maybe she could be better, instead of giving my mom crappy advice all the time which she does not take with a grain of salt, because a psychic said it, and if a psychic said it, it is true.

Celebrity psychics are always real psychics. If they make it that far, it means they have a gift. Period. Sylvia Browne had some unsavory elements to her.... and she didn't always channel correctly either. Like, I read in her book that she said spontaneous human combustion happens when you get too much phosphorus in the body. My guides told me that what they probably meant to say was that something could happen if you get a shit, shit load of phosphorus in the body, like you suddenly took to scarfing boxes and boxes of matches. But that has never happened before. Ever. People who have claimed to witness spontaneous human combustion are lying. It is not real. It is not real. It is not real.

But that is normal, all in a day's work for a psychic. There are miscommunications. It is a difficult form of communication, mediumship. Kind of like communicating with aliens. We speak a similar base language, but that's not English.

I was talking to Matthew yesterday. He told me he didn't believe that Sylvia Browne was real, because she told someone that she thought someone was dead when they were actually still alive. Well, big whoop. It comes with the territory. You get an inkling. It could be correct or incorrect. You pick up on energy. Sylvia isn't a good psychic for work in that field. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone gets more than a few things wrong from time to time.

My guides lie to me all the time, actually. They say it's for my own good. Sometimes they are just joking, like they choose a funny explanation over the real one, with questions that don't really matter at all, and then when I bring it up later they tell me the truth.

But anyway, what I was saying was, there are a lot of misconceptions about psychic abilities. One is that they should always be 100% accurate. Like, it is some sort of authoritative ability with the all-knowing power of God. I kind of hate it how they act like psychics are supposed to be all-knowing.

Guides lie. You talk to someone else's guide, sometimes they sugar coat, or don't tell you the entire story to protect their "client." More often than not though, guides just don't know. They don't know everything. They are just spirits. They know some things. They will give you an educated guess. A very educated guess sometimes. But, they don't really know about a lot of things.

Psychic abilities are real, bitch. They are not always correct. Charlatans exist. Bad psychics exist. You take it with a grain of salt.

Million Dollar James Randi Challenge

So I was watching this video about this guy, James Randi. I don't know much about him except he is big on debunking spiritual stuff. This guy knows a lot about things like parlor tricks and magic, and forms of trickery. So, he believes all spiritual stuff is trickery, and he debunks it.

So one of the things James Randi does in this video is, he has a whole bottle or very very large portion of homeopathic sleep pills, and he takes them. And then he's like, wow! I didn't die!

I actually thought this was kind of stupid. Now, I'm not like a firm believer in homeopathy. I really have no opinion. I don't know that it works and I don't know that it doesn't work. I have heard anecdotal stories about it working. I was told by one of my doctors that in other countries they have done scientific studies on homeopathy and they have found it to work, and that was because the scientific studies in the United States are biased. But I don't know. The naturopath gives me homeopathic remedies. I don't know that they work. I don't even really know what they are supposed to do. But I take them anyway because I am told to and it couldn't hurt. So I really have no opinion.

That said, I thought this assessment was a little unfair to homeopathy. Just because both things are used to treat insomnia, doesn't mean they work exactly the same or have all the same side effects. It's not a drug! It's energy medicine.

You treat people with psychosis with antipsychotics. Antipsychotics cause weight gain. What if someone was psychotic, but cleared it up by getting adequate sleep and a proper diet. Sleep deprivation and nutritional deficiencies could potentially cause psychosis. But then James Randi jumps in, and says, this isn't possible! His psychosis couldn't possibly be gone! He didn't gain any weight! Let me tell you, as far as I know, and maybe I don't know everything about these things, but as far as I know everyone gains weight on antipsychotics. Everyone. Every single person in the entire world would gain at least a little weight if they were put on antipsychotics.

So anyway, another thing about James Randi is that he has this million dollar challenge. He will give a million dollars to whoever proves the existence of psychic abilities. So far, no one has! I have been in discussions with people, online, where they use that as their soul argument that psychic abilities aren't real.

So I looked a little bit in to it, did a little research but not a whole lot. In order to win the million dollar challenge, James Randi has really really strict conditions under which psychics have to demonstrate their abilities. That's why psychics don't even try it.

So what I am kind of thinking is, sure, this James Randi guy may know a lot about parlor tricks. But what he doesn't seem to know a lot about is spiritual stuff in itself and the nature of that kind of thing. Psychic abilities are strange and elusive. No, they are not always very reliable, but in my opinion they do exist. So maybe, psychic abilities are real, but with the terms of the James Randi million dollar challenge, people just can't demonstrate them under those conditions.

Anyway, that's what I've been thinking. That's all for now.

I'll Never Go Sci Fi

Sometimes it makes me mad that people don't believe in things that I believe in. And it makes me mad that it makes me mad, because I know it shouldn't bother me. If anything, I should feel sorry for people who don't believe in the spiritual side of existence.

Honestly, I don't know what I'd do if I didn't believe in spiritual sorts of magic. I would think a whole lot different, for one. Actually, I would probably be a lot saner. That says nothing about the actual validity of this spiritual magical stuff, because while I believe it is real, I have a tendency, when I am delusional or thinking a bit on the delusional side, to let my belief in that stuff get carried away with me. So if I didn't think telepathy, or spiritual communication, or other sort of psychic phenomena was possible, fuck, I don't honestly see how I could convince myself of anything delusional. Because how would I explain the stuff I was imagining inside my head, the voices, if it wasn't some sort of psychic phenomena? There's no other explanation unless you go sci fi, and say that someone implanted a chip inside my head that was broadcasting information to me. And I honestly can't see myself go sci fi. If I ever go sci fi with my delusions, it would be a good time for someone to shoot me in the head. It's always going to be psychic. Always.

Anyway, so they say, "extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof." I say, define extraordinary. It is an error in the way you people think that you find this kind of stuff to be extraordinary. It's all ordinary to me. Psychic phenomena is totally ordinary. I don't even see how people are really impressed by it anymore, it is so ordinary. I mean, we've all had our psychic moments. Or have we all? The trouble is, the type of people who are disbelieving of psychic phenomena are the types of people who have no psychic abilities themselves. Because when certain things happen to us privileged psychic types, we think, oh, that was psychic, and we give it no second thought. And it happens over and over and over again, rearing it's psychic head in different ways.

It's like talking to a blind man. A person who has been blind from birth. They cannot see what's in front of them, and must feel their away around. To a society of blind people, the idea that you can sense something with your eyes without coming into contact with it might seem like an extraordinary claim. An extraordinary claim, which would require extraordinary proof. And how do you prove this to a blind man? He cannot see, so if you sense something before he runs into it, he will just say you were touching the object, or had been there before and felt your way around. There's no getting through to a blind man, I tell you. No getting through to a blind man.

It is the same with psychic abilities, to the general population. It's like a population of blind men. If you know something about someone without being told, they will just tell you that you did research. And the thing is, the thing about the nature of psychic abilities is, they can be pretty vague, in what a psychic sees about someone. To the point where someone may say, "oh that's true for just about anyone!" Or they somehow inferred it from what they told you. And the thing about this is, it sometimes can be the case, but not always. One time, I saw an ad for a free personalized astrology reading. And I thought, hey, it's personalized, and it's free, what do I have to lose?! Anyway, so I ordered one, and what I got back was a short report of vague things that are true for everyone. Things like, "I sense a period in your life, perhaps in your teenage years, where you walked on the edge of existence, and felt that no one really understood you." Yeah, sure. That happens to everyone.

Anyway, where was I going with this?

If you think critically about what a psychic told you, you can decide whether or not the psychic was cold reading you or not. A lot of times when you talk to a psychic, you receive no indication that they are actually psychic, you kind of have to take it on faith. But sometimes you don't, and sometimes you have those special personal psychic experiences where you feel that something will happen, something that seems very unlikely, and then lo and behold it happens. Or sometimes, you feel the guiding hand of God. Sometimes.

So anyway, what I am trying to say is, the part of the population that is more limited in their thinking is more likely to deem a greater number of things extraordinary, and thus be not satisfied with any amount of proof you give them because it isn't "extraordinary" enough.

Painting an Emotional Tapestry

So, now that we've got to pretty much what I think is the end of this whole situation in my life. This situation being the karma thing, which includes my delusions and the mental illness and shit. Now I understand why the psychic last summer told me that my book would make the kind of stuff I believe in popular amongst young people. Because even though it involves all this horrible crap I had to go through which seems so unfair if you only look at this lifetime, there's just something about it that is in my opinion incredibly cool.

So I've been writing today, and today is my birthday, but that is irrelevant. I was adding the part about treatment. I have to be kind of brief about things, but touch upon the aspects of it that are important. I have been being incredibly brief about things, leaving out most of the stuff that happened, just touching on things I deem important.

One of the things that happens when you are going through what I'm going through, and thinking the way I'm thinking, with whatever it is that I am going through. Delusions? Mental illness? Altered spiritual state? Whatever the fuck it is. I don't know. One of the things is you think differently and things pop out more in your mind that seem important, like random things that happened. They pop out more, and this is conducive to painting an emotional tapestry of your true life experiences. Because that's what memoir writing is, painting an emotional tapestry of your true life experiences. It is a form of art and involves creativity because you have to decide what to include and how you are going to tell it.

Anyway, so one random small insignificant event popped out of me that happened early on in my Innercept career. And it involved this other girl at Innercept. And I was remembering how back in the day, at one point I had delusions about my delusions, and I was telling her about it. I was going to add this part to my book and she wanted to have me put the part where I tell her about it in the book. So I was going to and I was writing about it, this was several years ago, but then later I decided that I didn't want to include the delusions about my delusions, and even if I did the part where I tell her about it wasn't significant enough to add it into the book. So it was not going to be in the book. But then today, I was remembering the other thing that popped out at me. And it was such a coincidence because it was the same girl who wanted to be in the book, so I added it and told her about it on facebook and she was happy.

I have to add back a part I removed awhile ago because I was embarrassed. I have to re-add some mention of it because it is actually something really important. It was meant to embarrass me because it was important that I be embarrassed. So yeah this is kind of a tell-all book. Not literally everything. I know some people might not want me to add stuff that embarrasses me but it is way worth it in this case to add it. It adds a lot to the book. So you have to make sacrifices.

There are things in my book like slutty behaviors that aren't necessarily that uncommon, and a lot of people have done these kind of things, but everyone has to act like people don't do these kind of things and they don't talk about them.

It's like, you have to put a certain image out into the world, whether it be out on the internet or through publishing a book, like you don't do certain things. You have never been promiscuous or have done drugs or drank excessively. And you don't have any opinions about anything that could possibly be offensive to anyone. And stuff like that. And if you don't present this image, employers won't hire you. But no one is like that. So every single person has to fake it and they are expected to fake it.

This is something that annoys me about the world. So I am hoping my life never depends on getting a job where they expect me to be like that.

A Love/Hate Relationship

So it's weird because I take the same dose of Adderall everyday. Normally I will feel its effects, and I will feel a little buzz or high. It's happened a couple of times recently where for several days in a row I won't feel its effects hardly at all. Then, after not feeling it for a few days, I will take it the next day and it will effect me stronger than normally like I haven't been taking it for several days. Except I have been taking it, I take it everyday. So anyway, that's what I'm experiencing right now. I feel it in my system more than normal, which makes me feel a bit thoughty but not excessively thoughty, but above all it makes me feel like writing.

So my brain is swimming with happy chemicals right now. And I find myself contemplating things that annoy me. I'm not really angry though, I'm just thinking about these things. When I found out I was moving to this other house for a couple months, I was given a few reasons why, and I was also told that seeing a guy who is a Scientologist doesn't help matters. Also, when my mom left to go home a couple weeks ago after visiting me, she left a note telling me to do my own thinking. She meant she doesn't want this Scientologist guy corrupting my thinking.

I'm annoyed with people trying to control me. I am going to see who I want to see. And I really don't give a flying fuck if Innercept approves or not. I don't like Innercept. I don't think it is helpful. I think it is evil. So them not approving of what I do doesn't mean shit to me.

And it's funny what my mom wrote because if I didn't think for myself, I wouldn't be seeing this guy to begin with. I would have thought Scientology = Bad and that would have been the end of it. Because that's what the common conception is about Scientology.

And now I'm sitting here thinking about my mom, and how it's strange that she thinks she has some sort of influence over what I do. I really can't pinpoint exactly what my mom has done to make me so angry at her. The details escape me but the angry energy is still there. It's a number of things. Her general ignorance. Her excessive amount of trust in the Innercept program. My mom has faith in Innercept like Christians have faith in Jesus.

Talk about someone who doesn't think for herself. She has blind trust in doctors. She believes what psychics tell her, even when the same psychic has told me things that contradict what they told her. That's a whole other topic though, psychics.

The thing is though, I love her because she is my mom. And as much as I disagree with what she does, I know that my parents do love me and that's why they do what they do, because they think it is what's best. And I know that having loving parents is something that not everyone has and is easy to take for granted, especially in my situation. It's the kind of thing most people don't appreciate until it's gone. You don't know what you had until it's gone. I do have a lot. I have the necessities and I don't even have to work. Except I want to work. I want to be independent.

But anyway, this is why I can't say that I hate my parents. Because that is what ignorant bratty children say.

Leaving Your Comfort Zone Despite Crippling Anxiety

So I'm wondering why I decided to continue on to intermediate acting. Actually, I know why I decided to. It wasn't because I plan on making any sort of career out of acting. I know that I am fooling myself if I thought I could be good enough to make it like that. The reason I took the class was to get myself out of my comfort zone. It sounded like a good idea about three months before classes started.

We were assigned an assignment which involved us doing something in front of the class that we only did alone and makes us slightly uncomfortable. The trouble with this particular assignment is, it doesn't matter what the hell I'm doing, if I am in front of the class alone then I am uncomfortable. On top of that, we are supposed to make ourselves vulnerable in some emotional way through what we are doing.

So I decided to do something in front of the mirror. I kind of planned it out but didn't practice. I realized as I was preparing to do this in front of the class that there was no way in hell I was going to be able to do this. So I pretended to look in the mirror, which was actually the audience, and then I sighed and then put on some makeup. I was thinking that maybe I was pretending to think I was ugly or something, like this was a moment where I was insecure about my looks. I thought that might be an okay thing to do. Trouble is, I just got so damn nervous, I thought I was going to have a repeat of the near-faint I had during my speech last spring. I was shaking and I thought it might be visible. In the middle of the performance I suddenly said I was done. For some reason I think that maybe my shaking wasn't as obvious as I thought it was, but I don't know. The teacher seemed kind of surprised and said ok that was short but ok. Anyway.

So I felt like I failed. And now I'm wondering how I am going to pursue my destiny when I get so nervous in front of people. Like, how am I going to be a public figure. Because I am going to be a public figure.

I'm having trouble getting people to appreciate the parts of my book that I want them to appreciate. So, I rewrite it. It almost seems like a lost cause sometimes, but I persist because I know that it has something that if I succeed at making other people see it will be a big deal. Trouble is that I take for granted that I understand it so well, that it is not obvious to me what parts people might not understand, so I don't necessarily explain those parts.

One of the psychics at the holistic fair said it would happen, and that I would be a speaker at places bigger than that place, meaning bigger than the holistic fair. She told me something else that I think is going to happen, but that's something secret. She was also the one that advised me to meet literary agents in person. That was good advice, despite the fact that I have only heard back from one of them, and that was a no. But I didn't have high expectations for that particular literary agent.

Anyway, so for now I just have to deal with the horrible crippling anxiety.

The Akashic Records

So my urge to be spiritual has been waning a bit. I feel it being replaced by this urge to work on getting published, which right now means preparing for the writers conference. I mentioned that I revised the place in my book where I describe my delusions. I realized that there was no way before that the reader was going to understand based on the way I explained them and I was expecting way too much out of the reader. I feel like if I get people to picture these delusional events in their heads like I picture them in mine, that's my ticket to freedom. Because that's what makes my book stand out. I imagine it like it's a movie. The weakness of the movie is that the climax is basically a guy looking at words on a computer screen, which isn't really action packed, but the power of it is the meaning behind the words.

But anyway, I was back on the spiritual message board that I've been on. Enough time had passed that I could request another psychic reading, so that's what I did. There is a person on the board who does Akashic Records readings. Basically, the Akashic Records are records of each soul who has lived on Earth and their lifetimes, everything that's ever happened to them, every thought, action, etc. is recorded in the Akashic Records, according to people who are apparently experts on them. Apparently, something like the Akashic Records is referenced in most religions, in Christianity/Judaism it is the Book of Life. I asked for a reading, I asked to know a little about my past lives, plus I asked for some sort of direction in this life, like what I was meant to accomplish or what career was right for me.

The reader had me forward my full name to her in a private message. Then she forgot several times about the reading. Finally, a few days ago I got my reading. So apparently, the "Recordkeepers" don't want me to know about my past lives. She just said I did a very good job and completed them admirably. She said that perhaps in this lifetime I have learned patience with people, like forgetful little old ladies. But I haven't been paying enough attention to the wisdom that can be gained from talking to the elderly. She said I should put myself in situations, like a volunteering situation, that involves the young/old at least once a week, and once I do so I will begin to grow and have more ability to connect with the Spiritual Guides/angels/loved ones. I would imagine by loved ones she meant those who have passed. She said I couldn't continue on this current path for much longer, whatever that meant.

So, there is nothing in this particular reading that proves to me that she is really psychic. I sort of lean towards believing her. At any rate, this isn't bad advice, and regardless of whether or not it really came from some higher source it wouldn't be bad to follow it. I asked a follow up question, I asked what she meant by young, like young as in my age, or young as in children. She responded and said she felt around the ages of 4-6, and what she had heard during the reading was "out of the mouths of babes." I googled this phrase to see what it meant and it's an expression used when someone really young says something that exhibits wisdom beyond their years.

I don't know if I've mentioned on here but I used to volunteer with the elderly but had to volunteer somewhere else. So, yesterday I was at the Human Right Education Institute, gluing together parking permits and cropping pictures of food from different countries and the descriptions of the eating habits of these different countries and pasting them on pieces of construction paper. Apparently one of the United State's favorite foods is sesame chicken. News to me. Anyway, I couldn't help but wonder if there was something more valuable I could be doing with my time. I thought about asking the lady if I could volunteer with children, but I decided against it.

Maybe I'll ask next time.

Psychic Abilities

So recently I had a massage where I got relaxed and got thinking about things, realized things about my life and the nature of my soul and the universe. This has brought the whole idea of metaphysics to the forefront of my attention. My mentor tries to talk to me about activities to fill up my schedule, but really I'm not interested in anything that isn't related to spiritual development.

Something that happened awhile before the massage was that I started getting a sense of what people were feeling when I talked to them. First it started where I could feel people pulling away, either because they were losing interest and their mind was going off on a different track or because something I said turned them off. This feeling of other people has gradually been getting stronger. It's still incredibly weak though. The thing about it is it usually goes along with peoples' facial expressions/voice expressions/body language. Sometimes these feelings are hard to read. My parents were visiting, I walked by my mom and I felt frustration in her energy. I asked her if she was frustrated. She said she was because she couldn't find her hairbrush.

Nicotine seems to make it weaker. I chew nicotine gum. I have to have it or else I get pissed off then really depressed. When I feel disconnected from people, the feeling also gets weaker. I got frustrated today because I went to class and I could hardly feel it at all. I have become dependent on this feeling. When I started talking to my table mates more, it got a bit stronger. If I sit and talk to someone for awhile I start to feel it. I usually don't feel it right off the bat. There have also been other minor examples of psychic things, nothing very convincing though.

I went to a psychic/metaphysical message board because I heard it was a way of getting free psychic readings. I found out the advantage of talking to these people versus paid online psychics is they don't sugar coat. But they are amateurs too. I got a reading and I sort of got the impression that they were just going off what I said and not really reading me, though they did mention one detail that was true that I hadn't told them.

So I went to another section on the message board where they do picture readings. I posted a picture of myself. I got responses I felt were more accurate. The first person who responded emphasized introspection, which is very true because I am a very introspective person, but even more so recently. The next person mentioned that he sensed a lot of resentment and the need to hide something. This was also true. I was trying to hide this weak feeling of being psychic because in the past to my parents and doctors that has been a delusional thing. What this guy said was absolutely true. Both of them I think said something about having talents and expanding my inner self. I wondered if they meant psychic abilities.

But anyway, it's been weak today so far and I don't like that.

The Supernatural

Oh, dating websites. This is where I am reminded that most people bore me. I see the same thing over and over and over again: "I'm a pretty laid-back easy going dude. I want a real relationship no drama no bs no headgames. I like to hike, fish, spend time outdoors." Everyone in Northern Idaho/Spokane likes to spend time outdoors. I'd like to see something a little more original.

My profile is original. I basically copied and pasted what I said under about me on facebook onto my POF account. Yeah, stuff about spirits. Some people think it's cool. Some people think I'm joking (I'm not). One guy told me: "You're too cute to believe in stuff like that."

This is the kind of comment that would piss me off if I cared about what other people said. I don't, but I'm going to say what I think anyway.

Some people think it's naive to believe in stuff like psychic abilities and spirits. I think the people who don't believe are naive. First, let's discuss what naive means. It means you lack the experience to understand how the world works. It's not the same as immature, which is an emotional state. Naive is more about knowledge gained from experience. These people have not had experiences like me any many other people have, the experiences that make you realize that there are forces at work in your life beyond those you can see.

Now I know what a lot of skeptic types would be thinking now. They have probably encountered people who are overly superstitious in their thinking and resort to the "it's a spirit" or "it's something supernatural" conclusion too quickly. I feel these people on this. I remember this one time, I was looking at some sort of metaphysical website. There were some photographs some people had taken of supposedly supernatural things like orbs and shit. In this one picture, there were two kids, one with their hand out and then some massive "spirit" thing coming out from their hand. The person who had submitted the picture had written that the lady who took the picture just had this talent for capturing "special things" or whatever in her pictures. Well, I know what it looks like when a strand of hair gets in front of the camera lens, and I can tell you, that "spirit" looked an awful lot like a strand of hair. I was thinking this lady probably had frizzy hair or something and that's why she was able to capture stuff like that in her photographs. I don't know if that's true, but that was the conclusion I came to. Anyway, my point is, some people are too quick to label things as supernatural, and that's where I think a lot of the skeptics are coming from.

I didn't believe in anything supernatural when I was younger. I thought the whole idea of someone being psychic was a joke, and everyone knew that, I didn't think that anyone took it seriously. Because, obviously, you can't look into someone else's mind or someone else's life, how the hell is that supposed to work? Supernatural stuff goes against what one would think would be correct. But here's what I don't get: Who are these people to think that they understand the world, existence, and consciousness SO WELL that that kind of shit just could never possibly happen? These things aren't understood very well at all. But while I do believe in psychic abilities, I don't recommend spending money on psychics, because they are unreliable. That's why psychic abilities haven't been proven.

And the thing about spirits is, if you lived my life, you too would believe in them. It used to drive me crazy because when I would talk to people, no one understood how crazy stuff from my life was, they would just brush off everything I told them. Then I realized something: these were just the doctors, therapists, and my parents. When I talked to other people about it, they seemed to think it was pretty crazy as well.

Stupid Western Culture

Sometimes if I think too much about the culture we live in, the inconsistencies drive me crazy.

So I live in conservative Christian north Idaho. I own a bible. I read my bible, usually nightly. I attend a two and a half hour bible study on Tuesday nights, and church most Sundays. According to facebook I'm a born-again deist. I change my beliefs from time to time, and whenever I change them I'm a "born again" something or other.

I don't know if that's even relevant, but the point is I listen. I see value in acquiring information and then using my power of reason to reason my way through it, to decide what I believe and what I don't believe.

Trouble is, I'm not allowed to come to my own conclusions about things, unless they are consistent with other peoples' conclusions. If they don't match up, I am labeled unfit to make my own decisions.

It's because of the culture we live in, stupid materialistic western culture, that thinks that everything is physical and chemical.

Anyway, what got me started on this was that the night before last I had a bad dream about malls. It may have been about malls because I died in a mall in a previous life. This is a subject I won't get into. Anyway, it felt as if my mind were under attack. I was wondering about this, and looked up "psychic attacks" on the internet. I came across some interesting pages. I can relate to the symptoms of being influenced by a spirit. I can relate to the feeling of being "drained." It's not a feeling of being hungry, tired, or even depressed, but just like the life is sucked out of you. It's not like you're coming off a drug either, I know what that feels like. When I was feeling "drained," I felt this other person inside of me and I was worried that they were going to take me over completely. I was scared.

It's culturally accepted to believe in the bible. In the bible, Jesus drives demons out of people. But today, that kind of stuff doesn't happen. Or maybe I'm getting two different cultures mixed up. There's Christian culture and then there's atheistic culture.

My mom talks to and trusts psychics. The same psychic she trusts told me that my "mental illness" wasn't just a mental illness, it was a psychic thing, but that my brain was adding to it too. She also said that it's not just in my head that a spirit is messing with me, there is (or was) one pestering me. But my mom likes to talk to psychics to contact the dead relatives. I read on the website yesterday that dead people aren't really a good source of information because they don't necessarily have any more information than they did while they were alive.

At any rate, I don't even know why I'm posting this, as it may make certain people think that I am unfit to make my own decisions.

Psychics: My Professional Opinion

A few days ago I was looking at a Skeptical Inquirer magazine and I have to say that I disagree about a number of things. One thing I believe I know is that psychic abilities are real. I went through a phase that I'm not proud of where I would talk to psychics on the internet. I've talked to them in person too. So I consider myself experienced on the subject.

Yes, psychics sometimes know things that there is no way for them to know, even when taking into account that they might be talking to each other. They accurately predict things, but more often than not they predict things that do not end up happening. They can get things right when the chances of them guessing and getting it right are very, very small. They also like to decieve and scam.

I wish I had more time to write, but I have to go to class soon so I'll keep this short. Psychics aren't worth your time or money. Even if they somehow know things they shouldn't know, that doesn't mean that anything else they say is going to be right. They want to make the customer happy, at least at the time of the reading. In other words, they will tell you what you want to hear.

The worst time to talk to a psychic is when you think you might be delusional. No one wants to hear that they are delusional.

Predictions about the future are the most unreliable. Don't take any predictions about the future seriously.

There are some things that you aren't supposed to know until the time is right. Sometimes though, you need advice, and you need it from people who aren't living. At least I do. In this case, you wait for the spirits to talk to you.

But most people aren't mediums! That's not a problem. There's this thing we do every night called sleep. If someone not living really needs to tell you something, this is a good time. My advice: always take seriously the advice you receive in your dreams, if you do receive advice in your dreams.

You can waste money on psychics if you have a lot of cash to spare, but remember that if a psychic says something, it doesn't really mean anything at all.